Another Day
by thelittlerat
Summary: Gail/Holly - This story begins the day after the shootings and carries on throughout the ups and downs of their relationship in the next year. There is laughter, fights, horrible mothers, best of friends and a few kisses. Mostly it's just a little story to let my imagination roam. I hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Somewhere in the deep-dark haze of that space between sleep and awake, Gail could feel a presence quietly taking a seat next to her on the edge of the bed. Instinct told her to assess her situation for danger. She was, first and foremost, a police officer and a Peck. Being woken up in the middle of the night on "family vacations" to do life-lesson readiness drills was a part of her childhood she preferred not to remember, but in moments such as this the memories came rushing back.

She was lying on her stomach – a position of vulnerability. Whoever was next to her was in control. Who was it? Where was she? She never slept on her stomach. She was hazy, but not hangover; still tired but knew she had slept deeply for at least a few hours. It was all very confusing. She felt a hand gently come in contact with her back – her muscles underneath immediately tensed. Instead of recoiling, whoever it was began to graze their fingertips up Gail's spine. Her body now alert as her head began to play catch up and her senses went into overdrive.

It was her sense of smell that first registered the person now leaning in closer – the soft, faint mixture of lavender and vanilla that she associated with only one person. As soon as she was able to process the scent, her body relaxed and allowed itself to become even more vulnerable to the presence awakening it. She was in Holly's bed; lying under Holly's sheets being woken up by Holly's touch and scent.

The previous day came rushing into focus – the shootings; Oliver; the church; the hospital; introducing Holly to her brother and Chris; and finally, in a moment of pure exhaustion, she recalled giving into her overwhelming desire for comfort and asking Holly to take her back to her place instead of her own. She had wanted nothing more than to just sleep next to this amazing, calming woman and had somehow found the courage to ask.

Gail was not someone who typically asked for anything. She demanded, occasionally whined someone into submission, but never tepidly asked someone for help or comfort. This was all so very new to her. To Holly's credit, she didn't call her on it last night. There were no sarcastic counters or cheeky grins – she just flipped her turn signal right instead of left at the following intersection and laced the fingers of her other hand with Gail's.

"Hey, sleepyhead, you need to wake up. I brought you coffee and the shower is warming up." Holly placed the cup of steaming brew on the nightstand next to mess of blonde hair hiding a half-comatose Gail.

Holly heard a mumbled "Go 'way" as Gail blindly reached and found another pillow to bury her head. It seemed Gail woke up pretty much exactly how Holly had imagined she would – frustrated and ready to kick the first person she saw. She couldn't help but let her mind wonder as to what it would take to get Gail to wake up with a smile on her face…hmm, an experiment for another day perhaps.

Gail felt Holly's hand move from her back to the side of her abdomen tapping the exposed skin between her shirt and pants with her knuckle. It immediately sent a wave of shivers up her spine. She battled internally the urge to turn over and reach for Holly vs. slip back into the deep black hole of the nothingness that she always welcomed with sleep.

Since Holly didn't seem to be taking "go away" for an answer she tried bargaining, "Hol, I will give you everything I own if you let me sleep for one more hour."

"You own a 6-year old car, some killer boots, and a firearm. Not all that interesting to me - try again." This time, Holly took the less gentle approach and grabbed the pillow from atop Gail's head throwing it quickly to the far corner of the bed before she could react in defense. "Come on, Gail, you asked me to wake you up at six a.m. Please do not make me cave to the more devious aspects of my being and throw ice water on you."

Gail allowed for one eye to sliver open so she could glare in Holly's direction. "You do realize I know about thirty different ways to kill someone while still in my pajamas, right?"

"And you do realize I know about hundred different ways to dispose of a body without any traces of evidence, right? Are you always this difficult in the morning?" Holly inquired while inching her body backward to allow Gail to finally start sitting up.

Gail twisted her body sideways as she rolled herself into a sitting position, groaning as her muscles relented to the unwanted movement. She knew she had to get up. At some point in the midst of all the agonizing commotion last night, she had promised Frank she would take Chloe's shift this morning. Plus she was beginning to have a little fun bantering with the woman that so kindly and warmly allowed her to sleep next to her last night without question or pretense. Gail leaned her back against the pillowed headboard and grabbed the hot coffee next to her. Taking a long pull of the dark roast, she tilted her head in Holly's direction, "Anyone with this high of thread count on their sheets does not kill indiscriminately. And in case you failed to realize, I'm difficult every waking moment; it's my thing. Morning just seem to be an opportunity to be a little extra…something."

This time Holly did greet Gail with a playful grin. "Oh, believe me; I caught on to that little tidbit weeks ago. But I know something else about you, Office Peck…"

"Oh, really, and what's that?" Gail challenged knowing she was being walked into some sort of trap.

Holly leaned forward placing her hands on the bed straddling Gail's hips so their faces are inches apart. She closed the distance giving Gail a sweet and soft morning kiss and then whispered. "I may not know every inch of you..your mind or body…_yet_…but I see you. 'Difficult' may be the thing you want people to see, but 'Difficult Gail' wasn't around last night trading in a much needed and deserved day off to help her division cover open shifts. It wasn't 'Difficult Gail' that spent two hours texting Dov back-and-forth until two a.m. even though she was bone-tired just to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. And it certainly wasn't 'Difficult Gail' that held my hand in front of her squad and brother. I don't think 'Difficult Gail' is really your thing as much as you like to believe it is."

Gail locked eyes with Holly. She wasn't sure how to react to the challenge to her well-honed and carefully constructed persona. She weighed her options – first defaulting to her standby of "attack then retreat." It served her well in the past in keeping people at bay, but did she really want to do that to Holly? She was lying in this woman's bed pretty sure she should credit her good night's sleep to being wrapped in her arms. While the previous day's emotional roller coaster had awakened her still exhausted and ill-at-ease, she could feel there was some part of her breaking through the gut-wrenching drama evolving into a calmness she had never experienced. She knew, without question, the woman with the dancing brown eyes waiting for her to volley the next play was responsible for that.

Much to her own surprise, Gail acquiesced, "I'm not sure I know how to be anyone other than 'Difficult Gail.'. I've tried…maybe not hard enough, but _I have tried_. It hurts too much when they still turn away."

Holly wasn't expecting such a serious and profound counter from Gail at six o'clock in the morning. Of course, Holly wasn't expecting Gail to be in her bed this morning either, so maybe she should begin to accept that nothing about this woman was going to follow a marked path. She was starting to formulate in her head the list of who "they" may be on Gail's list. Holly was being honest when she said she didn't know everything about Gail yet, but it didn't take her numerous degrees to know that the list probably started somewhere in early childhood and never really quit being added to. She would be damned if she ever made that list.

"Gail, I'm here. I'm not turning away. Whatever you want from me…need from me…you got it."

This time it was Gail who closed the distance between them offering a longer, less chaste kiss and then admitted with a smile, "Somehow I think I've known that since the minute I met you. It just…it just...kinda scares the hell out of me."

Gail then broke the moment by climbing off the bed, grabbing the coffee mug as she turned toward the adjoining bathroom. She then stopped in her tracks, pivoting so she could look Holly once again in eye. With a coy smile she added. "If 'difficult' isn't going to be 'my thing' then maybe 'my thing' can be _you_."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all for the feedback. I haven't written in some time and responses to my work is greatly appreciated. **

The ride to the station had been relatively quiet. The drama of the previous day was catching up to both women. It was a comfortable silence - that of two people that knew each other well and didn't need to put on a show.

Gail was never one to fill in the lulls of a conversation. It was part of her defense mechanism – the less she spoke the more people kept away. It was a game she created as a child and mastered over the years - sit in the back of the car instead of the front; walk a few steps slower so she wasn't in the middle of the group; and, of course, throw an insult in the air and let it drop wherever it may causing everyone to scatter like the wind.

The game started at the dinner table during one of the many never-ending monologues by her mother on the Peck Family future leadership of the police department. How Gail would skyrocket up the white shirt brigade becoming the 'youngest this' or the 'first female that' and Steve would lead the detectives in most arrests and largest busts. As Elaine Peck would carefully and ambitiously laying out the Peck dynasty, Steve would chime in, egging his mother on keeping the conversation going. Steve's not entirely sincere cheerleading of the "Elaine Peck Dream" would give Gail every opportunity to master the art of dodging her mother's manipulations and avoidance to agreeing to anything too nauseating. Gail could retreat into herself and just allow her mother's words to float over her like a cloud. The game had become so second nature to her she could barely remember how to not be that person. Acting out a role in her own life instead of truly living it had exhausted her to no end, but she didn't know how to break free of it. Maybe Holly could help her learn what it meant to be the Gail Peck she lost at the dinner table fifteen years ago.

As Holly reached the last intersection before the station, she quickly turned toward Gail to check on her. She blonde had been so quiet in the last ten minutes she thought maybe she had fallen asleep. Gail was staring out the side window lost in thought, so Holly took it as an opportunity to do the same.

What a strange, traumatic and dramatic twenty-four hours it had been. At this time the day before, she was standing at her kitchen counter eating Greek yogurt mentally kicking herself for going on that date the night prior. After she was done kicking herself for that, she spent a little more time kicking herself for taking said date to The Penny. She rarely went to The Penny. It was a dive bar filled with cops - the same cops that spend most of the day harassing her to get their lab results quicker or accidently stomping on evidence in the field making her job even more difficult. It's not that she didn't like the police, she did. The uniforms alone were reason enough alone to stop by the station every now and then. She just never found the desire to hang out after hours with a group containing a higher than average rate of macho, ego-driven men and gun-toting hardened women. At least that's how she saw them from the outside. Going to that wedding and being in the hospital changed her opinion of the tight-knit group. Mostly though, it was Gail who changed it.

Standing in the woods next to this enigmatic, strange woman that insulted her eight times in the space of five-minutes forever changed Holly's opinion about Toronto's finest. Yes the finest part may have initially been influenced by the uniform. Gail really did wear it well…daydream worthy, cold-shower producing well. But there was something else – the way she cocked her head to the side and crinkled her brow in curiosity; the way she studied everything and everyone around her evaluating each situation before determining her next move. It captivated Holly to no end and gave her reason to believe other officers may be as engaged and compassionate about their work.

Gail and she had spent several evenings together in the previous weeks watching movies, drinking beers, laughing and becoming closer than Holly had allowed herself with anyone in some time. Although she didn't overtly show it, Gail genuinely seemed to enjoy her company. And while she would occasionally inquire jokingly about the mechanics of two women dating; she never made any indication she was interested in being part of that scenario. Holly couldn't figure out if Gail was trying to slowly sort out in her head about the two of them or truly didn't think of her in that manner. If Gail had ever had an interest in a woman, Holly was certain she had never acted on it, but Holly couldn't even figure out if the thought existed in the blonde's head. It was starting to drive her slightly batty and she felt like she was walking into a heartbreak of her own doing. And for that reason, she went on the date.

While the date was nice and the woman seemed interested in a second; Holly knew the moment she saw Gail at the bar it was over for her and the pretty sales rep with the Jimmy Choo's. She also knew this was why she had gone to The Penny in the first place and that made her kick herself again.

Holly took a deep breath. That was yesterday morning's worry and today was another day. A day where she woke up next to the woman she had really wanted to go on the date in the first place. And a day that had followed a very real indication on multiple occasions that Gail had been trying to sort out what the two of them had and will have in the future. Holly couldn't help let a sliver of fear creep into the back of her mind that the good of yesterday had just been a confusing and desperate attempt by Gail to seek comfort and peace from a horrible day. She silently prayed that wouldn't be the case.

Holly pulled her car into the back parking lot of the station to drop off the police officer. It took a second for Gail to even recognize where she was. The knowledge that she had ten, long, draining hours in front of her serving and protecting almost made her climb into the back of the car under a blanket. She was so damn tired.

"Hey, you didn't need to bring me here. I could have walked from the lab." Gail offered breaking the silence that had been between them.

Holly couldn't tell if Gail was being generous or didn't want to be seen together. Yesterday had been such a mix of signals and emotions she was having trouble following along. She turned toward Gail with a somewhat pained expression. "Oh…I…uh…just figured…you know, you seemed tired and lost in thought and it was going to be a long day…I just…"

Gail tilted her head confused. Holly always used ten words when she could use three, but until yesterday she didn't recall her being such a rambler. "The words, Hol, so many words…If kissing you is the only way to get you speaking in sentences again, then we need to do a quick run to the store so I can get chapstick. "

Holly released the breath she didn't even know she was holding. "I thought you wanted me to _stop rambling_. You may need a different strategy." She heard Gail huff in quiet laughter as she continued, "I'm sorry. I swear I'm not usually like this. Ok, I am kinda like this, but not really _so much._"

As she was speaking, Holly noticed a slight grin forming at the corner of Gail's mouth. She realized Gail was amused by her and it made her want to either push the blonde out of the car or into the back seat. Gah, this whole adventure in Gail Peck World was maddening.

Gail softened her expression and took mercy on Holly before she could start rambling again. "Holly, I was just trying to not be 'Difficult Gail.' I know that isn't my typical m.o. but I swear it's the truth. What time do you typically get to work?"

"Well I don't really have a set time - around 8:30 or 9, I guess. Sometimes later depending on what I  
am working on." Holly answered without thought as to why she would be asked such an off-handed question in the middle of another conversation. With Gail, it usually led somewhere so she rolled with it.

"It's 7 am. You woke _me _up this morning at six and you were already showered and dressed. I may not have a wall of degrees, but I can be pretty observant. Your whole morning has been about me – my needs."

"You had an awful day. You needed someone to make things about you."

"I didn't need_ someone_, Holly. I needed _you_. Thank you. Thank you for being my friend…for being my…just thank you."

Holly looked down taking in the way Gail's hand was clasped around her own. She didn't think Gail even realized she was holding it, rubbing her thumb rhythmically in circles on the side of her hand – it just seemed to naturally end up there and it gave Holly an incredible sense of comfort. It also gave her the courage to push the conversation a little further.

"Gail, I know this hasn't been the easiest time for you and I don't want to add to anything. There are probably better times to have this conversation. I just…I'm just trying to figure out how much I should give here. I'm not a good rebound person and I'm even worse at being the subject of experiments. I really want to believe that isn't what this is, but…"

Gail took a moment to really take in Holly's demeanor. There was a genuine nervousness lying under the thin layer of bravado that was helping Holly to get the words out. In that moment she realized how much of an effect she had on the brunette. She also realized how absolutely sacred she was beginning to hold their relationship. For as long as she had been with Nick and as much as she valued what she had with Chris, she had never had an overwhelming urge to protect the heart of another person the way she did with Holly. And for that she knew she needed to be honest.

"It isn't." Gail sighed before continuing, "I don't know what _it _is. I wish it were clear, but it just isn't. I'm not trying to play games. I just don't really know how to do this."

This time it was Holly who used a little humor to lighten the mood. "You know that's why Google was invented don't you? Sexually confused men and women from all over the world can now figure out how two nuts or two bolts can fit together in the comfort of their own homes."

Gail couldn't help but laugh even though a part of her was seriously worried that was Holly's best attempt at flirtation. She thought she would educate the brunette a little on the art of sexual innuendo. "I'm pretty sure I could make your eyes roll to the back of your head without the assist of the Google machine or any other machine for that matter."

Holly gulped and could literally feel her eyes darken. Maddening, Gail was simply maddening to her. "_Oh, really_?"

Gail gave a wicked grin. Unfortunately she also happened to see the clock out of the corner of her eye and realized she was going to be late if she kept this up – which she could have done all day. She reluctantly pulled her hand away from Holly's and reached for her bag from the backseat. Before turning toward the door she took a deep breath and made the most truthful and sincere statement she could recall making in a very long time.

"This isn't about sex. Sex is the easy part. Ok, not totally easy but…ugh…never mind. Look, the truth is that of the things I don't know…of the things I'm most scared about… it isn't sex…it's love. I'm not sure I know how to fall in love with someone. I mean, not really. I don't know how to be someone's person. I said this morning that maybe you will be 'my thing' but what does that mean for you? I'm scared that I don't know how to be the person you want me to be – the person you deserve to have. That's what I don't know."

Gail looked Holly in the eyes and took in her contemplative silence. She really wanted to ask Holly to turn the car around and have them both dive back into the warm bed, but she had responsibilities and friends that needed her. "I hate to do this, Hol, but I have to go to work. I have no idea what today is going to be like – or the rest of the week for that matter. Can I text you later? Maybe we can go to lunch or dinner or something?"

Holly nodded; still trying to process what Gail had said. She reassuringly took the other woman's hand briefly in her own knowing the kiss she really wanted to give her would have caused anxiety for Gail in the police parking lot. "Of course, I told you before and I meant it. I'm here. We can figure this out…all of it. I'm not exactly an expert at this stuff either, you know. Maybe we can learn together."

Before stepping out of the car she left Holly with a few simple words. "I'd like that."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N – So this chapter is a bit involved. It seemed to me like this would be the unfortunate progression the Ford case would take. I am afraid our heroes are still in a pretty dark place. I thank you, as always, for the feedback and apologize in advance for my complete and total lack of police jargon and process. **

Walking into the station, it took less than two minutes to realize the day was going to be hellish. Chris was waiting at the entrance of the lockers with updates on Chloe and Sam. Both were stable but not out of the woods. Oliver was being released that day, but wouldn't return to work for another week. Gail let out a small sigh of relief – at least that wasn't bad news. It's what else Chris had to say that made her know she was in for a grueling shift.

At some point very early that morning, Gabe Ford confessed to the abduction and 'accidental death' of the little boy three years ago. To try and save himself, he also gave up the names of three men - local businessmen like him appearing to be upstanding citizens – that shared a child pornography ring together. Luke had already requested from Frank a team that included Traci, Chris, and Gail to take them all down that as quickly as possible before any could run or hide evidence.

As Gail changed into her uniform, she allowed her mind to wonder to Holly and this thing of a relationship she had found herself falling into. In part she knew she was just trying to keep herself from being sick knowing the type of people she was going to come into contact with that day. In any case, Holly was a nice distraction to the more horrific aspects of her job. Actually Holly was just as nice distraction period.

As much as she tried to focus on the way Holly challenged and mystified her, her thoughts kept circling back to walking down more hallways trying not to show her inner-terror and going through more doors not knowing what was waiting on the other side. She found herself silently praying over and over that there wouldn't be children found during the raids. She could feel the coffee she had for breakfast trying to make a re-appearance and it took everything she had to push down the bitter pill that was going to be the next few hours. She reminded herself that one day of her own horror could stop countless days of horror for some innocent child out there alone hiding in the dark. It's why she did this job. She wondered how many times she was going to have to tell herself that today to make it through to the other side unscathed.

If her day was going to be this bad, Gail knew Holly's was going to be about the same. It may not involve physical danger, but all the evidence would land in the lab and need processed. Whereas Gail could turn away after a moment; Holly had to keep looking, studying the atrocities buried in the evidence. That poor little boy's body was going to have to be unearthed as well. Gail hung her head in sorrow thinking about it and she begged whatever higher power that would listen to not choose Holly as the forensic pathologist on the case. She knew it would be her though. For as young as she was, Holly was already getting to be at the top of her field and they always requested her for the most difficult cases. Gail imagined Holly walking into her office right about now having a similar conversation with boss as she had with Chris. The whole thing was turning her stomach.

"Hey, Luke wants us to meet him at my desk in five. Frank is letting us skip parade." Traci said to Gail as she quickly walked over to her locker throwing her bag in before grabbing her gun. She placed the gun on the bench before taking a seat herself to fix her shoes.

Gail noticed the tired, yet resolute look on her friend's face. It was a look Gail had seen before cross Traci when there were children involved in a case. It was times like this Gail wished she was better with words, but instead she just nodded her head in acknowledgement and sat down to lace her own boots.

She liked Traci. Even before Jerry's death she had liked her. Traci didn't come off as openly strong or confident as Gail or some of the other female cops; she had a more quiet determination and self-assurance that Gail felt was far less of an act or show. She would never admit it aloud, but she respected Traci a great deal and was really happy when she got the detective job. Traci was easily her closest female friend. Well Holly was, but Holly was in her own very-unique, yet-to-be fully-vocalized category these days.

Traci finished up and stood turning toward Gail. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

Gail stood as well and began walking toward the door, accounting for her ammunition, and getting ready to head out. "I crashed for a few hours. It seemed like minutes though. You?"

"Barely; we stayed at the hospital a little while longer after you left and then grabbed some pancakes at that diner around the corner from the hospital." Gail didn't need Traci to explain who the "we" was. They walked out of the locker room, towards the detective room with Chris catching up somewhere in between.

"My brother has an addiction to late-night pancake runs. He is such a weirdo. He used to wake me up in the dead-of-night when he was home on college break just to drag me to some new diner he heard about. Wait until he starts wanted to bring Leo along. The morning-after upset stomach from eating chocolate chip and banana pancakes with whipped cream and ice cream at two a.m is not a fun ride."

Traci couldn't help but smile thinking about the three of them sneaking away in the middle of the night for a secret pancake run. She could tell by the way Gail recalled the story, that she held it as a close and warm memory herself. Still, "Yeah, we're not quite there yet," was all she decided to say on the subject. Today was not a day to chat about relationships and pancake parties. If it were, she would have had a few things to add about seeing Gail holding the hand of that forensics woman pretty closely at the hospital; another day perhaps.

Chris leaned against the desk waiting for Luke to show up. He casually listened to Gail and Traci making idle conversation about pancakes, distracting them from what they were going to do today. His own thoughts bounced between Christian; Dov and Chloe; and the two women in front of him. Both Traci and Gail shared his nervous energy, but they also seemed to have something he didn't – lifelines. In the few minutes they were waiting, Steve had already popped his head in to make sure they were careful and give a not-so-subtle wink to Traci. Gail had barely even registered her brother's appearance because she was texting someone back and forth. She didn't come out and say who it was, but Chris was pretty sure it was Holly.

He couldn't help but observe his former girlfriend and very good friend from afar last night at the hospital. He noticed earlier how close Holly stood next to Gail at the station when they were talking, but just took it as two people who were good friends. Even when he saw Holly back away, he didn't give it a second thought. He knew Gail well enough to know that it only took a few sentences from her to get someone to step back or head for the nearest exit. It's what she did when she didn't want her space invaded and for some reason Holly coming into the station was definitely invading Gail's very high-walled space.

Things were different at the hospital though. Gail was too exhausted to hold up her guard and Chris couldn't help but take in how quickly she morphed into the more serene Gail he occasionally got to see sitting on their couch enjoying a book (an activity she would never admit she often did when people weren't around) the second she spotted Holly. What he and Gail had was great in its own way, but he knew he never had that effect on her. In the end, he got exactly the relationship he was meant to have with his blonde roommate – she became the sister he never had and he couldn't help himself from being a little excited and bemused by what this new relationship was going to do to turn the edgier parts of Gail's personality on its head.

All three stood up straight as Luke hurriedly walked into the room. He wasted no time getting to business. "Thomas Jaroby, Simon Walker and Paul Kosinski – surveillance has them all at home. The warrants are processed and we're ready to go. Nash, you are leading evidence collection. I need a central point-of-contact to work with all units and the lab. Once the homes are cleared and the men are arrested, start at Kosinski's. Ford identified him as the ringleader. You make sure nothing in that house gets missed. We are going to do this right the first time."

Luke inhaled sharply collecting his thoughts before continuing, "Peck and Diaz, you both are leading the Kosinski arrest. Martinez and Silver are backing you. Call for more if you need it. Take five to get your plan together, talk to me and make sure they have it before you go in. I've got two more teams doing the same with Jaroby and Walker. "

Gail and Chris glanced in each other's direction quickly, both thinking the same thing. They didn't lead high-profile takedowns; they were rookies and rookies were typically back-up. It wasn't the time or the place to question their shift in roles, but they both recognized the significance of the responsibility, especially on this particular case.

Ten minutes later, Gail, Chris, Traci and Luke were all rapidly heading to their respective cars reviewing details of each arrest and making sure everyone was in place – this was going to be done fast and it was going to be done right. Gail grabbed the keys to their cruiser on the way out and jumped in the driver's seat. Without debate, Chris got in the passenger-side as he continued to go over the plan over the phone repeatedly with Martinez and Silver.

A few minutes later he hung up and turned toward Gail. "This is it, Gail. This is us taking on more. I thought I would be really excited for this day, but I'm actually kinda sick to my stomach."

"Chris, we are about to go arrest some perv whack job. If you weren't sick to your stomach, I would send you back to that shrink Frank made us all go see."

Chris fidgeted in his seat fixing his vest. "It's gonna work. We've arrested people before. This isn't new. It's just not usually us leading the charge, but we're good at this, you know."

Gail nodded her head trying to reassure her partner as she made the turn into Kosinski's neighborhood – it was the same idyllic neighborhood she grew up in which unnerved her slightly. She may not have had the greatest childhood in the world, but she recognized it was nothing even close to the terror that was likely taking place five streets east.

She pulled the cruiser out-of-site from the house and reached for her radio. "Dispatch, 15-07 on scene….15-42, what's your twenty?"

The two officers listened as Martinez and Silver confirmed they were on scene and ready to take position. Gail quickly glanced in Chris' direction affirming his "go." She put her foot on the gas once more and drove it the additional yards into Kosinski's drive. Martinez was right behind and all four quickly got out of the vehicles heading for the house. Diaz motioned for Martinez and Silver to take the back as Gail and he hurriedly took the front entrance.

With guns drawn, Gail allowed for two unanswered knocks each followed by a shout that they were the police and to open the door immediately. With no response, Gail radioed the other unit to stand firm as she made one final attempt before taking the door down. Before her knuckles could hit the door they hear a shot fired and a window breaking from the top floor of the house. Without a second thought, the door was broken and both ran up the stairs with Diaz calling it in, giving the "go" to the second unit to clear the rest of the house and getting additional back-up in position.

Gail could feel her heart practically beating out of her chest. She allowed her years of training to take over as she rounded the corner at the top of the stairs ahead of Chris. Three open doors and one closed at the end of the hall, she had no doubt as to which one Kosinski was in. Of all days, why couldn't she have gotten the one that surrendered quietly? Shethen reminded herself that there could be a child in that room and forced herself to be on even higher alert.

They quickly glanced in the other rooms, noting their emptiness, before standing in front of the closed door. With no more than a second delay, Chris opened the door as Gail stepped in - gun first - both assessing the situation quickly and ready to draw fire. Both their weapons and eyes immediately faced the man sitting at the large mahogany desk. He was shaking like a leaf, tears running down his face, and held a gun to his temple. The window behind him was broken and the wind was causing a hissing sound through the shattered glass. He clearly had tried to take his own life a few moments prior and either missed spectacularly or cowered out at the last second shooting behind him instead.

Gail aimed her gun directly on the man's chest. She couldn't help but wish the man had just done it and ended this whole thing. Instead they were going to have to talk him down. He had too much information and should have to spend the rest of his life in prison. She wasn't going to let him take the easy way out and she would be damned before she played a role in any "suicide by cop" plan he may have had.

"Paul Kosinski?" Chris inquired as he took a step forward becoming parallel with Gail. The man tearfully nodded his head in confirmation and he pushed the gun deeper into his temple.

Gail slowly took one hand off her weapon, never distracting from her target and reached for her radio. Kosinski's eye caught the movement and he started to stammer. "What are you doing? Stop it. Everything just needs to stop."

Gail locked eyes with the man and placed her left hand, palm out, towards him showing she was not trying to harm him. "Mr. Kosinski, I need to call this in. There was a shot fired. If I don't use the radio, a lot of cops are going to be running up these stairs very very soon and things are going to get very ugly very fast. You don't want that, do you Mr. Kosinski?"

"I…I didn't mean for it to go off. I heard the door open and…leave me alone, just leave me alone. I didn't do anything wrong. This is all a mistake. Gabe hates me. He's trying to frame me. I didn't do anything wrong."

Gail quietly radioed in the situation before turning back to the blubbering man before her. She didn't believe she was in danger of intentionally being shot at, but she had no such belief that both her and Chris could be caught in erratic shooting when this man fell right off the cliff he was already barely standing on. She caught the corner of Chris' eye and, with one slight nod, motioned that she was going to take the lead. Chris confirmed by taking a slight step away from her forcing the man to concentrate his attention on Gail's voice.

"Mr. Kosinski, we are just here to bring you to the station so you can talk to the detectives. You want the opportunity to tell your side of the story, don't you? If you shoot that gun, no one will ever know that Gabe framed you. They will never know of your innocence."

"You're a liar. You're just saying that to get me to leave. I'm not leaving." Kosinski waved his gun forward as he was ranting. Both Chris and Gail immediately stiffened their backs and gripped their guns tighter.

"Mr. Kosinski, drop your weapon now_. I will shoot you. _That is not how you want this to end, I promise. If you die in this room, the world will believe you are guilty of all the horrible things Gabe Ford accused you. Look at you, Paul. That's not you. You own a factory. You give to the community. That's Paul Kosinski. Are you going to let Ford win?"

"I want immunity."

Gail took a second to weigh her response. This lunatic was all over the place and she didn't consider herself the most equipped at handling this. Somehow though she was knee deep in it and no one was being shot at yet so there was that. "Mr. Kosinski, drop your weapon and step out from behind the desk and we will take you to the station where you can talk to the lawyers about immunity. Officer Diaz and I are only here to drive you to the station. Come on, Mr. Kosinski, no one has to die today."

"You'll let me talk to them about immunity?"

"Of course we will. You can tell them your story. Tell them you were set-up. They'll listen. They know Ford is the real bad guy." At this point, Gail was ready to throw in everything she could possibly offer to get them out of this situation.

Much to her surprise, Kosinski began to lower his weapon onto the desk. As a show of good-faith she slightly lowered hers as well. Chris kept his firmly in place, but Kosinski wasn't looking in his direction. Both Gail and Chris didn't move a muscle waiting for the next move. Kosinski starting crying even harder as the gun firmly landed on the desk and he pushed the chair away enough from the desk for Chris to move forward and grab the weapon.

Gail also headed toward the man grabbing his arm with her one hand to contain him as she radioed in that the situation was under control. Seconds later, Silver and Martinez were in the room and Gail handed off the physical arrest to Diaz as she assessed the room. There was a closet door near the desk that caught her attention. She waited until Diaz, Martinez and Silver started walking out of the room with the Kosinskit before taking a step towards the door. As she reached for the handle, Traci walked in.

"You alright?" Traci inquired as she walked in, taking notice of the blonde standing there looking at the door not hearing the question. Traci arrived on scene within minutes of Gail's radio to dispatch. She was one of the cops standing in the hallway hearing the situation go down, praying one or two more of her friends weren't going to end up in the hospital that day. Gail didn't outwardly appear too shaken up as she was too busy contemplating what was behind that door. Traci was now standing next to her wondering the same thing.

"Kosinski's eyes darted in this direction a few times during his ranting. Whatever is behind here, he was protecting it."

Both women steadied themselves knowing whatever was behind there needed to be let out in the open. There was no amount of academy training that could prepare you for something like this. Gail un-holstered her gun as Traci wrapped her fingers around the knob. She slowly turned it, surprised it wasn't locked. Kosinski clearly knew they were coming for him, but must have been taken by surprise by how quickly they got there. As the door opened, Gail pointed her weapon into the darkness dropping it when she saw no immediate danger.

What she did see though almost destroyed her. A library of countless files, magazines, videos; all purposely and meticulously organized. The names on the labels alone were enough to make both women turn in disgust.

Traci whispered blankly, "We'll process all of this. He will be put in the deepest darkest hole we can find in prison."

Gail swallowed hard trying to keep her composure. If she stood here even a second longer, she was going to become violently ill. She slowly backed out of the office with Traci following close behind. "I need to get him to the station. He wants to talk to someone about immunity," Gail spat out as she walked down the stairs and out the front door.

"I don't believe that conversation is going to go very well for him." Traci commented as she began to turn toward the forensic unit making sure they had all of Luke's orders. She stopped before fully reaching them and turned once more to Gail. "Hey, you did a really good thing today."

Gail just half-smiled in the direction of her friend acknowledging the compliment before heading to her cruiser.

The day progressed very much like it began. Once Kosinski knew immunity wasn't going to be an option and they had the contents of the closet, he cracked completely. Walker came in quietly confessing immediately and Jaroby did what Kosinski couldn't and shot himself before the cops where on scene. Kosinski and Walker's confessions led to three more arrests that day alone. Gail and Chris were part of two of them.

By six o'clock, Gail thought she was going to fall over. She was sitting on the bench in front of her locker staring into space. She was going to break. She didn't know when or how spectacular of a show it would be, but it was going to happen.

Her phone startled her when it vibrated with a text – her mother congratulating her on the Peck name being front and center in such a large and high profile bust. No inquiry on if she was ok. It was all very typical Elaine Peck. She felt the phone vibrate again and almost didn't look down - one text a day from her mother was her limit. It vibrated then again and she relented. The texts were from Holly: she was first apologizing profusely for having to stay in the lab very late (she did get the case of the little boy) but could maybe sneak out soon to grab a quick bite to eat and the second was to make sure she was alright.

They had been texting back and forth all day trying to support each other as best they could. Gail told Holly she had arrested the pedophile, but she didn't go into detail about what happened during the arrest. She wanted to talk about it in person. It almost worried Gail how much she needed to see Holly. She never had wanted the physical presence of someone the way she wanted…needed to be around the other woman. She tried chalking it up to a side-effect of the extreme stress the last few days had brought, but she knew deep-down it was something else. She was falling for this woman. It wasn't something she could process quite yet and certainly didn't know how to vocalize it, but it was there.

Gail jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head and found Traci taking a seat next to her. Both women shared a knowing look before Traci began, "Go home, Gail. Go home and sleep, or drink, or something to get away from this place for a while. You deserve it."

"So do you. Are you going to the hospital?" Gail inquired as she rubbed her hands over her face in exhaustion.

"Not tonight… in the morning. Sam is doing better…Andy's still with him. Chloe's pressure has gone down slightly and the doctor's are more optimistic."

"Good. Good. I should go make sure Dov is okay." Gail stood and reached for her coat in the locker.

Traci stood and stared thoughtfully at her friend placing a hand back on her shoulder. "Gail. Stop. Chris went to get Dov. They're fine. Take care of yourself."

Gail turned her lip slightly into the beginnings of a smile. "You should take care of yourself too. Go find my weirdo brother. Go home; get your son and then go have the biggest and most sugary pancake breakfast you can find. I promise you, you will not regret it until the morning."

"You know, that actually sounds like a pretty good idea. How about I make a deal with you…"

Gail never agreed to anything without full knowledge of what was involved. "Spill it, Nash."

Traci laughed. "How about I grab Steve and Leo and you run down to the lab and grab the mysterious brunette you keep hidden down there and we all go for pancakes."

Gail's first reaction was to recoil. Traci was implying Holly and Gail were a couple like her and Steve. She didn't know how to react to people thinking that. But this wasn't a random person, it was Traci - her friend that she trusted and respected; her friend that she shared another horrible day with; her friend that was causing her brother to wink in the middle of the police station.

Gail huffed in dramatic concession as she pulled her phone out of her pocket to text Holly. "It will have to be somewhere really close. She has to be back to get through all the work you detectives gave her. And her name is Holly, by the way, not 'mysterious brunette'."

As they walked out the door into the cold evening air, Gail bumped her shoulder against Traci's in thanks. Another day was ending.


	4. Chapter 4-1

** A/N - This chapter is more like the first half of the next Chapter and not the entire piece. It has a decent break though so I thought I would get it out there as I am finishing the rest. Don't worry...the remaining scenes in this chapter revert back to Holly and Gail.**

Gail unceremoniously plopped down in the empty chair next to Traci's desk tossing a pre-packaged salad in the detective's direction.

"I slept with a woman." Gail stated nonchalantly digging into the bag for forks.

Traci abruptly stopped typing mid-sentence and looked first into space blankly and then in Gail's direction to assess her friend's demeanor. She quickly realized that, like most conversations with Gail, she had no idea if this was going to go in a good or bad direction. Gail dropped that little bomb on her desk and then proceeded to start chomping on lettuce like she had just told Traci a hockey score instead of a fairly significant life-changing event. Traci sighed…she was going to have to go with what she liked to call the "snoop and dig; bob and weave" method she first mastered with Leo. It actually worked surprisingly well with Gail too.

"I'm just going to go ahead and assume you mean Holly. …and?"

Gail continued stabbing her salad like she was putting it out of its misery. "Of course I mean Holly! You think I'm out all hours of the night just finding random chicks to have sex with? And what? We slept together. I slept with a woman. Are you going to eat your roll?"

"Gail, you can't just throw something like that out there and then ask me for my roll. Was this last night? Last week?" Traci tossed the roll at Gail anyway. She knew she would get asked for it again. It was easier to surrender.

"You want _details?" _

"Uh…" Traci stood up and grabbed her mug. Leave it to Gail to start a conversation and then make the other believe they were prying. She walked over to the coffee pot and started pouring. "How much detail are you planning on giving here? I just want to know how straight-up I need to take this."

"Trace, I'm talking about sleeping with a woman to the woman that is sleeping with my brother. You think you're the edgy one in this little chat? Make me a double." Gail casted the salad off to the side of the desk and dramatically bent forward putting her head between her knees; her fork still in hand as she put her arms over her head like she was assuming a landing position. Some kind of muffled and incoherent sound followed that was strangely similar to that of a caged animal.

Traci walked back to her desk, slipping the fork out of her friend's hand - best not to have any weapons that could go flying in her direction for this one. She couldn't help herself from gently tapping Gail's head like she would a small child before taking her seat again.

"Gail. Gail? Oh god…was it that bad?"

"Wha…huh…itwadergoo..." Gail still had her head between her knees muffling whatever she said.

Traci tilted her head in bewilderment trying to figure out what in the word Gail just said. 'Snoop and dig' wasn't going to work this time. She was going to have to change tactics. Since her and Steve polished off the last of the 'file-cabinet liquor' and it was only noon, she was going to have to resort to her least favorite tactic in handling her friend - appeal to Gail's ingrained deference to authority and taking orders. "Alright, Peck. Head up. We are either having this conversation or we're not. You've got three seconds to make up your mind. Go!"

Gail did as she was told and lifted her head. She didn't quite make eye contact with Traci, but carried on with the conversation nonetheless. "I said, _it_ _was_ _that good_."

Gail sighed and went to grab her fork off the desk. Traci beat her to it tossing the utensil further away. "Oh no you don't, I don't trust you with this yet!"

Crinkling her brow, Gail tried unsuccessfully to get the fork again. "Give me the fork, Nash!"

"Answer my questions, Peck! And don't give me that pained look like I'm dragging this out of you. You started it."

"Are we twelve? Seriously, we're twelve. "

"Were you kissing girls at twelve?"

"Ugh…Noooo! That would be a very recent development." Gail pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped arms around them. "Traci, I slept with a woman…I mean not just any woman. I slept with Holly last night and it was amazing - like toe-curling, can't remember your name, wake-the-neighbors amazing. At least it was for me. She seemed to…."

Traci threw up a hand in surrender. "Ok, Gail…maybe not quite so many details. I have to look at you two on a regular basis and I don't need imagines. You want me to start dishing on your brother? You know he has this little birthmark on his…"

"Aghhh…stop! That's not funny! That's not funny AT ALL!" Gail couldn't help but laugh though before continuing down her own train of thought. "I'm just saying Holly may be some sort of sex goddess from another planet - some weird, rambling, science-loving, lunchbox carrying sex goddess. Maybe I've been going at this wrong all these years dating cops. Maybe 'nerd central' is where it's at."

"Yes, Gail, let's concentrate on the 'nerd' part of this conversation. I'm sure that's the reason the whole experience has you unhinged." Traci paused for a moment and took on a more serious tone. "Gail, what's this really about?"

"I don't know. What does this all mean? Am I now officially gay? What does _that_ even mean? Do I get some sort of certificate in the mail from Ellen and Elton welcoming me into the club? I don't know how to be this person, Trace. Ahhh...How did I end up here?"

Gail tilted her head backward resting it on the chair closing her eyes recalling just how indeed she ended up here.


	5. Chapter 4-2

**A/N - I swear I'm not dragging this out for the fun of it; I am just letting the story go in the direction it takes me. Consider this scenes two and three of Chapter 4. As always, thank you all for the reviews; I am honored.**

**_Twenty-four Hours Prior_**

Gail sat quietly in the squad car eating her sandwich as Oliver chattered-on for the third time that hour about the amount of stuff Celery had moved into their home - something about an herb garden and a suit – no she was pretty sure he said eye of newt. Okay maybe she wasn't fully paying attention, but she was still enjoying listening to Oliver prattle on with that loopy in-love smile on his face. She was glad he was back and even happier he was in good spirits.

It had been more than two weeks since the Ford brothers had twisted all their lives upside-down. Gail hadn't had a day off since; taking on some of Chloe's shifts and trading others with Dov and Andy so they could spend more time at the hospital. Chris was doing the same; both agreeing it was the best way they could support everyone. She was loyal to her division and friends – even Andy. Gail decided to stop holding grudges against those she believed wronged her in some way. It all just seemed so long ago and she was moving on. Taking a few of Andy's shifts seemed like a good start in mending those fences.

Her extra shifts and Holly's pile-up of cases were making it difficult to find much quality time to spend together. Quick bites to eat, texts and late-night calls were becoming the norm. Occasionally Holly would come home to crash only to find Gail was already sprawled out on her bed. Holly had given her a key after Gail woke half the neighborhood up at 2 am pounding on the door, drunk from going to the Penny with Dov and Chris. Too tired for much else, they would fall asleep curled up next to each other and wake in a tangle of limbs only to have to hastily get back to work.

Listening to Oliver's soliloquys on love and seizing the moment had her thinking more and more about her own life and what she wanted with Holly. Holly was being incredibly patient – more than Gail would have been in the situation. And not just about the physical side to their relationship, but even truly acknowledging the relationship at all. She knew it wasn't fair to keep the brunette in this state of limbo and they both knew it wasn't just competing schedules keeping her from fully committing; Gail was afraid of falling from the proverbial tree.

Holly got her like no one else had; like no one else even tried. In the few months they had known each other, she had become her most trusted confidant and cherished friend. Gail was petrified she was going to fail at the one thing she wanted most of all – to be the person Holly loved and deserved. In Holly's apartment, away from the world, she could be honest with herself and open up; but Holly deserved more than an 'apartment girlfriend.' If this was going to work, and Gail truly wanted it to, she knew she was going to have to make some changes in her life.

First, she had decided to stop drinking. She wasn't an addict, but Gail was self-aware enough to know that it wouldn't take much longer for her to become one. Alcohol was her crutch and way to exit difficult situations. She had seen too many cops, some from her own family, turn to alcohol to solve their problems and never be able to turn back. She didn't want to do that to herself and she certainly didn't want to do that to Holly. The look on Holly's face when she opened the door at 2 am to be met with a very inebriated police officer was enough for Gail to know she didn't want to make it a regular performance and she hadn't had a drink since.

The second thing she did had been far more difficult. Holly was actually the one to suggest it the prior week after having to wake her from a hellish nightmare. Gail couldn't even remember what it was about; all she knew was that it took the better part of an hour to stop shaking. Holly held her, soothing her with kind words and then very gently suggested that Gail talk to someone about everything that was going on.

Gail had seen therapists before when it was mandated by work or her mother, but she had to admit she was never a willing participant or all that forthcoming. She would sign the papers, say the right things that checked the boxes and then go about on her merry way. Holly was right though, she needed to talk to someone. She had her brother, friends and Holly but she needed an impartial person to help her really sort through the last year. The therapist Frank made them all see wasn't all that horrible, so she called her office the following day and made an appointment. She had her second session early that morning and was already feeling more at ease. She did have to laugh though at how quickly the doctor narrowing in on her relationship with her mother. That shrink was about to work for every penny she charged if she was going to straighten that mess out.

Gail talked about Holly during the sessions as well. Not a lot, but enough for the doctor to know that this was new and Holly was a very important part of Gail's life plus the motivator for why she was there. Gail was beyond relived when the woman alleviated one of her deepest fears – she told her that even though she didn't have all the information yet she believed Gail's feelings for Holly were genuine and not a manifestation of stress or an extreme reaction to her break-up with Nick. As much as Gail had wanted to believe it was all real, hearing the doctor confirm it gave her the sense of empowerment she needed to move the relationship forward.

After an uneventful day of patrolling, Gail was uncharacteristically skipping up the steps to Holly's apartment. She had received a text from the brunette letting her know she was actually ending her day on time as well and to come over when she was ready. Gail couldn't quite hide her grin thinking about actually spending hours together that didn't involve sleep or drama. She couldn't help it - Holly humored her; mystified her; and had her thinking some very impure thoughts about her, but mostly she just made her happy. She couldn't remember a time when she was simply happy.

She opened the door to the apartment - not bothering to knock - and hung her coat and purse on the nearby hook.

"Hey nerd!" She called out toward the direction of the kitchen where she could hear Holly moving about as she threw herself onto the big, comfy sofa in the living room laying on her stomach. She smiled into the pillow when she heard Holly yell "Hey cop!" back.

A few moments later, Gail felt the edge of the sofa dip and Holly's knee come in contact with her side. Soon another knee was coming between her and the back cushion and Holly was straddling the curve of her back sitting on her backside. She let out an involuntary moan when Holly leaned downward placing the top of her body against Gail's back. As she ran her hands up Gail's rib cage settling on her shoulders, Holly whispered in her ear, "Why must you continue to call me 'nerd'?"

"What…the what?" Gail was having a very difficult time thinking straight. It appeared Gail and Holly were very much on the same page as to what they both wanted to happen that evening.

"I said, why must you continue to call me 'nerd'?" This time Holly spoke a little louder and reached backward with one hand running it down Gail's thigh until it reached her inner knee. Knowing the reaction it was going to produce, she tickled her fingers lightly against the blonde's jeans causing Gail to scream and arch her back further into Holly's body.

"Holly! Holly! Stop it!" Gail twisted and turned from under a very amused Holly as she tried to get away. Instead she found herself sitting face-to-face with the brunette who was still straddling her – only now she was mostly sitting on her lap.

Holly quit tickling her and focused her attention on Gail's face. She placed her palm on the blonde's jaw and rubbed her thumb across Gail's mouth circling her lips.

Gail slipped her hands under the back of Holly's shirt and began running her fingers up and down her spine. She gave a very self-satisfied grin when Holly's eyes closed and her head tilted back. "I think you like it when I call you nerd."

"Oh, really? Why's that?"

Gail leaned forward and starting trailing kisses up Holly's long neck until she reached her ear. She lightly nibbled the lobe between her teeth and then whispered in a low sultry voice, "Because when I call you 'nerd' you know you're mine."

This time it was Holly who moaned as Gail sat back slightly and then pulled Holly into a very deep and passionate kiss. They started to fall back into the sofa when a timer from the kitchen started going off.

It was relentless and annoying, but Gail was willing to let it go. She was pretty sure she was willing to let the whole place go up in flames before breaking the kiss they were in. It was Holly that finally came to her senses. She reluctantly pulled back slightly. "I made dinner," she said breathlessly before turning her attention to Gail's exposed collarbone peeking out from her sweater.

"Let it burn." It was all Gail said before moving her hands from Holly's back to her hips giving her the leverage she needed to turn them both so she could be on top.

They started kissing again for a few minutes before Gail sat up and threw her head back in frustration. "Ugh…I am going to go get my gun and shoot that timer."

Holly sat up as well. "No, don't. It took me an hour to make that lasagna. I don't want it to be a casualty of your war with my appliances."

Gail tilted her head in curiosity. "You made lasagna from scratch? Who does that?"

"Sauce and all…I got home early and I thought it would be nice for us to eat something that didn't come from a Styrofoam container."

"Hmmm…so, _Nerd_, my choices for this evening are sex or lasagna. Is door number three a new car?"

Holly put her hand around the back of Gail's neck pulling her back in for more. She then purred, "Door number three is both. Choose wisely, Officer Peck."

Gail barely separated from Holly as she murmured, "Hmmm…I think I could be a huge fan of door number three."

"I may start a fan club for door number three. First lasagna though. You're gonna need the carbs."

Gail laughed, "You have a lot of faith in your abilities there, my friend."

"Says the woman who promised me she could make my eyes roll to the back of my head."

"Touché, Nerd."

Holly smiled as she moved to get off the sofa grabbing a very reluctant hand from Gail so she would follow suit.

Gail groaned as she got up. "You're a tease, you know that. An evil, sexy tease."

Holly just laughed as she headed into the kitchen.

Gail had been there for thirty minutes and already felt like every nerve was on end ready to burst into flames. She had no idea how she was going to make it through the night.


	6. Chapter 4-3

**A/N: this chapter picks up right after chapter 5. This is still a recollection of the previous day.**

Holly was having a very difficult time concentrating on getting her fork of food from the plate to her mouth. She was literally gawking at Gail's collarbone where only a short-time before her tongue had trailed across the luminous skin causing Gail's head to fall back in pleasure.

"You know, it must be really hard to consume all those carbs when the food keeps falling off your fork." Holly could hear Gail talking but had no idea what she said. All she knew was the blonde had a very self-satisfied smirk on her face that really needed kissed off.

"Huh?" Was all Holly managed to get out.

"You're the one who wanted to do dinner, tease." Gail placed an elbow on the table and casually rested her chin on her knuckles as she took a few bites with the other hand. She then switched topics, "So, I was thinking maybe after this we could go for a run, maybe hit the batting cages for a few rounds. Ya' know, something to really get the heart rate up."

Holly noticed how very amused Gail looked by this situation. It was infuriatingly sexy – especially the way her eyes kept roaming up and down Holly's body with every word she said.

Holly took her glasses off and set them on the table. Two could play this game. "Actually I'm a little tired. I'll probably just turn in early. Didn't you say you had some laundry to do at your place?"

Holly took a casual bite of the lasagna and then sipped her water slowly grinning into the glass as she watched Gail try to determine her next move. She was a little surprised when the blonde didn't throw back a quip but instead took a fork of lasagna and brought it close to her lips. Instead of actually taking a bite though, she stuck her tongue out and circled the tip on the top of the food. She then deftly curled her tongue capturing some of the sauce and slowly pulled it into her mouth – the whole time never taking her eyes off Holly.

"Hey, Hol…"

"Uh-huh"

"You may have spilled a little water there."

"Uh-huh. _What_?"

"Water. Table. Lap. Just sayin'."

Holly finally processed the words and looked down. Her glass was balancing precariously on the edge of her plate and had tipped enough for the water to begin streaming out of the glass, run off the table and was now headed for her lap. She jumped back with a yelp and grabbed her napkin to catch the offending liquid.

Holly couldn't help but laugh, especially hearing Gail giggling from across the table. Giggling was definitely the right word. It was a great sound. In the time she had known Gail, she had never seen her quite this happy. Yes, she could tell the other woman was very much interested in door number three for the night, but that didn't seem to the only reason for the cheeriness. She was genuinely content with where she was in the world. It made Holly want to do a dance thinking she played a role in this woman that she was falling for find a sense of calm.

Holly hadn't planned on seducing Gail that evening. She was going to cook them dinner and then watch the movie they had rented five days ago and never got around to seeing. She had promised herself that she would wait until Gail made the first move and she was going to stick to it; no matter unbelievably frustrated it was making her.

She had every intention of keeping to her promise until she looked out her window that evening and noticed her girlfriend walking up the path towards her building. Gail was lost in thought, but there was a smile creeping onto her face every few seconds. It was the same smile Holly would occasionally catch a glimpse of when she would kiss Gail "hello" or they would tease each other for hours about something random that only they seemed to find funny. She realized it was a smile Gail reserved only for her and as she walked toward Holly's building, she must have had her on her mind. It simultaneously melted Holly's heart and fueled her desire. When Gail walked in and laid herself on the sofa as if she were coming home, Holly couldn't stop herself from reaching out to the blonde. Gail's immediate and paralleled response was all she needed to push her over the edge.

Holly couldn't decide if she wanted to ramp up the seductive teasing or just climb across the table and have her way with the blonde. She continued to towel off her lap as she side-eyed Gail and gave her best grin. "Well there went door number three, Cop, Looks like it's a dinner-only night for you."

Gail knew better. She knew Holly. She also knew that she had never had this much fun bantering with someone. Everything about this was different and yet more familiar than she had ever known. Still, she wasn't quite ready to cave yet. Gail stood and grabbed her plate and glass as she cornered the table, skimming her body exceedingly close to Holly's as she made her way in the kitchen. She called out from over her shoulder, "I wasn't much in the mood for anything else, anyway. I'll just do my dishes and then get home. Thanks for dinner, Nerd."

Holly groaned as she grabbed her plate as well. She had no idea how she lost that round, but grinned maniacally as she thought of ways to get Gail back.

The radio was playing in the background as the two women stood at the sink finishing the pots that hadn't fit in the dishwasher. Gail threw the one remaining pot back into the soapy water for the third time after Holly informed her it wasn't clean enough. Gail decided the pot was going to end up in the same burial ground as the oven timer if Holly made one more comment. She cleared the only remaining spec of sauce on the pot she could find and then put it back on the rack.

Holly dramatically inspected the pot on the outside and inside and then dumped it back into the water. "Yeah, sorry Officer, not quite there yet. Good effort though."

Gail put her hands on the edge of the sink and took a measured breathe. This was war. She dipped both hands into the sink as if she were grabbing the pot, but instead cupped her hands, filling them with water, and with a quick pivot managed to splash a good cup of water across Holly's head and shoulders. Before Holly could even react, Gail began to take off for the living room.

Despite the shock of the water hitting her face, Holly was quick enough to grab the back of Gail's sweater before she could reach the doorway. She was having a hard time breathing through her laughter when she heard Gail squeal like a four year-old being caught escaping with a candy. Holly twisted the fabric of the sweater with one hand to tighten her grip and used the other to pin Gail between her body and the kitchen wall.

"Where do you think you're going? We have unfinished business, you and I."

"Oh, really?" Gail was squirming to be freed, but it was more for show. They both knew she was right where she wanted to be.

Holly was done talking - no more movie suggestions or teasing banter. She bent down slightly and crashed her lips into Gail's. Their tongues naturally began dueling as their hands roamed up and down each other's bodies.

Gail's sweater and bra were skillfully removed by the brunette before she even knew it was happening. She reached for the front of Holly's shirt to start unbuttoning it. When her fingers didn't tug correctly at the first button she paused and spoke into Holly's neck. "What the hell? Is your shirt glued on? Get. It. Off. Now! "

She stepped forward, effectively pushing Holly backward enough that she now had the other woman pinned to the opposite wall. She put her hands back on the shirt tugging the sides as if she were just going to tear it off. A moment of realization smashed into her when she heard Holly playfully return, "Buttons are on the other side, Gail. It's a women's shirt remember?"

Holly began kissing her way down Gail's neck heading for her breasts; but before she could, Gail gave her a slight push and took a step back in hesitation. The next few seconds were filled with nothing but the music still playing on the radio and their heavy breathing. Holly stared at Gail in anticipation of what was about to come next and Gail looked down at the floor. When Holly reached out to the blonde saying her name quietly, Gail took another small step back allowing the touch to never be reached.

Gail placed a hand on her forehead and then through her hair. She needed a second to think. She had no idea what she was doing and the wave of panic that washed over her was overwhelming. She silently walked into the living room.

Holly bent forward slightly and closed her eyes. Tears were threatening to fall as she starting internally beating herself up. She had pushed too much. Gail wasn't ready and now she was going to lose her; she was going to run and Holly had absolutely no idea how to stop her. She stepped forward, grabbing Gail's sweater that had been thrown on the floor, and walked into the adjacent room. Gail was standing in the middle looking lost.

"I'm sorry. Here…" Holly held out the sweater waiting for Gail to take it – more like take it and run out the door.

Gail turned toward the other woman, not bothering with the sweater. "Holly, I'm really good at climbing trees."

"Huh? What? Oh, wait….we're talking about the cat thing?" Sometimes Holly really wanted a manual to understand Gail. She was so confused.

"Yeah, the cat. Keep up. I know how to climb a tree, Holly. I'm really good at climbing trees - amazing at it even. The thing is…" Gail was kind of circling in the same spot and speaking quickly. Holly realized she had only ever seen Gail this visibly flustered once before. It was in that brief moment after she had kissed her in the coat closet. It was beginning to click with the brunette what was going on.

"…the thing is what? Why'd you stop? Gail, it's okay."

"Trees, Holly. We are talking about trees here. Look, I just, I have no idea how to climb a tree without…huh…without…_without_ _a branch_?" Gail stopped fidgeted and looked at Holly waiting for a reaction. She honestly had no idea what she just said. She thinks she just explained that she was clueless about sleeping with a woman, but she may have instead told Holly she wanted to be a cat. She was usually a lot more in control than this. Her jaw dropped a little when she watched Holly bend forward covering her mouth trying to stifle laughter.

Gail's voice raised an octave, "This isn't funny, Holly!" She crossed her arms in front of her still naked chest as Holly continued to laugh.

Finally Holly said through a snicker, "A 'branch' Gail? Really? I thought you said I was the one that was bad with metaphors."

Gail practically stomped her foot, "I'm glad you think me wanting to figure out how to have sex with my girlfriend is so damn funny!"

Holly quit laughing and looked up at Gail. Her expression softened, "What did you say?"

"Were you laughing too hard to hear me? I said…"

"Gail, You've never called me that before."

"What?"

"I mean, I feel like that's what I am…what we are to each other, but you've never actually said it."

Gail replayed her previous speech in her head trying to determine the sudden change in Holly's demeanor. It hit her… 'Girlfriend'; she acknowledged them aloud. Gail knew it wasn't a slip of the tongue either. She took a step toward Holly and lovingly cupped her jaw. "I meant it. Hol, I want this. I've never wanted anything like I've wanted this. I'm sorry I walked…"

"Stop. No more apologies. No more games." Holly reached her hand out once again hoping Gail would take hold this time. "Gail, let show you how to climb a tree. …a '_branchless'_ one." They both shared a smile with the last line.

Gail took Holly's hand and allowed herself to be led into the bedroom. She could faintly hear the radio in the background playing from the kitchen. She recognized the song and internally chuckled at the harmony of the music and the moment. …_Awake My Soul_ indeed.

"Hol?"

"Yeah?"

"Be gentle."

Holly laughed aloud and replied, "Climbing trees can be an extreme sport, Gail. I can't make any promises."

**A/N: "Awake My Soul" by Mumford & Sons happened to come on my iPod when I was writing this. It seemed fitting. Cheers. **


	7. Chapter 4-4

**A/N: Chapters 4.1, 4.2, 4.3, and now this one are all part of the same set. 4.1 had Gail in Traci's office eating lunch. She then went back a day recollecting in 4.2 and 4.3. This takes you back to present with Traci. They all probably should be one long chapter – sorry if it's confusing.**

"Earth to Gail! Come in Gail." Traci started tapping her friend's arm with her fork trying to snap her out of her reverie. Gail had dramatically thrown her head back ten minutes ago with a 'How did I get here?' and hadn't come rejoined the planet since. It was all very 'Gail' – first she walks in informing her she slept with Holly and then spends the remainder of her lunch break off in dream land. Traci was going to interrupt her friend's musings a while ago but instead decided to use the time to finish her lunch. She knew Gail well enough to know the conversation would finish itself in due time. Besides, she needed the extra minutes to recover when she looked over at the blonde and realized Steve and Gail had inherited the same self-satisfied smirk. Dating her friend's brother had some very strange consequences – she really needed to start looking into therapy.

Gail didn't move an inch so Traci resorted to more extreme measures. She leaned in closer and quickly said, "Hey, Gail, was that your mother that just walked down the hall?"

Gail's eyes popped open and her head snapped forward. She twisted her body to look out the door as she slipped down further into the chair. "Where? What? Why?"

Gail slowly turned back toward Traci giving her most evil glare when she heard Traci laughing behind her. She accusingly pointed her finger at her friend. She knew she'd been had, but still needed to confirm, "My mother's not in this building is she?"

"I can't answer that 100%, but I can 100% say she didn't just walk down the hall."

"I hate you, Nash. I'm only nice to you because my brother threatened me."

"Uh huh. Glad to have you back from your trip down 'Holly Road' though. Was it a good ride?"

"I thought you didn't want details?" Gail grinned and wiggled her eyebrows for effect. She then tilted her head in thought, "Wouldn't 'Holly-wood' have been the better phrase there?"

Traci shook her head in disbelief. How did she end up in these conversations? "Alright Gail, we have about ten minutes before Oliver comes in here to grab you to go back on patrol. We can discuss 'nerd central,' my grammatical choices, or we can actually talk about why you came in here in the first place."

Gail decided one last evasion. "I came in here because you texted me to bring you lunch. You seemed to have finished and you won't let me have my fork, so…"

Traci tossed the fork in Gail's' direction. "You may have this back conditionally. Come on, Gail, talk to me. You slept with Holly…it was amazing…but you're clearly worked up about something. What's going on? You didn't bolt after did you? Or is this the 'what does this mean' part?"

Gail started ripping apart small pieces of her roll and throwing them into Traci's salad container across the desk. She was impressed with herself for the number actually making it into the bowl. She used the distraction to help herself speak. "I didn't bolt. It wasn't just the sex that was amazing; all of it was. Hell, even washing the dishing was amazing."

"Is that some kind of lesbian metaphor? Because I have no idea what it means."

Gail chuckled. She was grateful Traci wasn't going to make this too difficult on her. "It means 'washing the dishes.' I haven't had the course on gay metaphors yet. Ask Holly. Last night I think I may told her I wanted to be a cat…or a tree?...or she was the tree? I don't know. It started as a relationship-thing then I tried turning it into a sex-thing…. Words don't always work in my favor."

"You're evading again."

"You know, you're not my therapist. She's much less aggressive. Plus she lets me have a fork whenever I want."

Traci was a little surprised Gail admitted to seeing a therapist. She knew from Steve that was the case, but Peck's were not the type to openly admit seeking support from anyone. Gail was changing – maturing – and Traci was really happy to see the growth in her friend. "Stop whining, I gave you the fork back. Oliver will be here in five, Gail."

With a deep breathe, Gail continued, "I cheated on Nick. He was falling for Andy and I didn't know how to deal with it so I did the one thing I knew he would never forgive me for doing. I didn't even fight for him. I just gave up."

Traci put her hand over Gail's and all the little pieces of bread that were lying under it. "You're afraid you'll do the same to Holly?"

"What happens next? Huh? We continue dating for a while and then what? People will start asking questions; they'll start talking. I'm not talking about our friends. I'm talking about the division…my parents… Do you know how many calls a week I get from my mother trying to set me up? Elaine Peck has a very specific image set in stone of how who I should be and I promise you, gay does not come close to being on that list. I don't typically react well when things get difficult. Holly doesn't deserve that person. I'm just not a strong woman, Trace. I'm not like you."

Before Traci could respond, Oliver stuck his head into the doorway. "Peck, recess with Nash is over; time to go."

Gail shrugged her shoulders and stood to leave keeping all the bread crumbs on Traci's desk. "Gotta go."

As Gail began walking out the door, Traci knew she couldn't let her friend leave after what she just said without some sort of response. "Gail! Wait a second."

Gail stopped walking and turned slightly but didn't say anything.

With a smile, Traci said the first thing to come to her mind. She had no idea if it would help, but she didn't know what else to say. Gail was right. Society may be a lot more open than it used to be but police were still a little old school. Add to it the number of people that wanted to see a member of the Peck Family take a fall and she knew Gail was not about to walk down an easy path. Traci also knew, though, that Gail was happier than she had ever seen her and she felt this overwhelming need to protect and support her friend.

"Do you know when it was that I knew we could be friends?" Gail just nodded her head 'no' evading eye contact with Traci.

"It was at the academy. The first few weeks you acted so superior and cold to everyone we were actually taking bets on who was going to slap you first. One day, I was walking by the gym and you were in there by yourself. You were practicing over and over again that obstacle course we had to complete. You were so bad at it with those twig arms of yours. I almost walked in to help you, but I didn't – mainly because you called me '16 and pregnant' the day before, but also because you looked so determined. You were not going to fail and you were certainly not going to let anyone see you fail. I saw something in you – something genuine and I respected it. The next day you came in second of all the women in the class."

Gail thought back to that obstacle course. God she hated that thing. "You were first. I was in that gym all night – every night. That course was going to be the death of me."

"Yeah, but it wasn't. You were determined to make it work and you did and you wouldn't be in here now talking to me about all this if you weren't determined to make this work too. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit."

Gail looked up from the spot she was staring at on the floor. She gave her friend a half-smile and mouthed thanks before disappearing into the hallway.

Gail walked out of the locker room after shift throwing her coat on ready head over to the morgue. She was rounding the corner when she heard her boss call out from behind her.

"Peck, hold on for a second."

Gail turned to see Frank walking toward her. She strongly considered bolting, but knew for a fact Frank was faster than her. If she was going to get asked to work a double, she seriously thought she was going to throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the station – literally stomach on the floor, fists pounding the linoleum, all-out tantrum.

"Yes, sir?" Gail stood a little straighter…being a Peck never really left the system.

Frank caught up with her and offered a smile. "With us being a little light on officers…"

_"Oh god, here it comes,"_ Gail thought to herself. She looked down and briefly wondered when the last time the floors were cleaned - her coat was new and she didn't want to get it dirty.

"…so Noelle has decided to come back a few weeks early from maternity leave."

Gail looked at her boss quizzically. "Huh? Sorry sir, you were saying."

Frank softly chuckled. "I was saying, we will have someone else to add to the rotation and I am telling you this because I am giving you the weekend off. Actually I'm giving you the extended weekend off. I don't want to see you until Monday morning."

It was Wednesday. Gail was getting a four-day weekend. Before rejoicing, she let her insecurities get the best of her. "Sir, did I do something wrong?"

"Gail, do you think I haven't noticed how many hours you have put in recently. You're doing good work. You're doing better than good work. This isn't punishment. Take the down time and enjoy it. Go! …before I change my mind."

"Uh…thanks," was all Gail could think of to say. She turned back toward the door and began to think of the hundred things should could do with four days off – every one of them involved the woman she was about to go see.

Holly knew there were a set of eyes watching her from the doorway and she certainly knew with whom they belonged. Still she continued typing away at her computer like she didn't notice - like she wasn't being turned on from the piercing gaze of her girlfriend. It took every ounce of control she had to not look up. She was about to crack when she heard Gail speak in that sultry whisper she knew sent a shiver up Holly's body.

"I have a proposition for you, Nerd."

Holly looked up to find Gail leaning against the doorway with one ankle crossed over the other and her hands in her pockets. She looked relaxed and yet determined about something. Whatever the proposition was, she had a feeling she was going to enjoy it.

After her lunch with Traci, Gail had spent the rest of the day thinking about what was next with Holly. She wanted this – she really wanted this and as afraid as she was of messing it up, she knew she had to try. Holly told her time and time again she was there for her and she had to trust her. Now all she had to do was convince her girlfriend to ditch work and join her for a long, uninterrupted weekend of never leaving the nearest bed.

"Frank has given me the keys to freedom for the next four days. I am not to come even close to the 15th division until Monday. Since you work in the 15th, that could mean I'm not allowed to come close to you. You using a few of your hundred stored-up vacation days could resolve that little problem."

Holly pretended she was only half paying attention as she typed away on her computer. Without taking her eyes off the screen she responded, "So you're saying I get four days without you? Hmm… what will I do without your cheese puff crumbs on my sofa?

This game never seemed to get old for both of them. Gail took a few steps into the office and sat down on the guest chair. "Not a fan of my eating habits, Holly?"

Holly could actually feel herself blush. There was no mistaking the double entendre in Gail's words, especially seeing the sly grin cross the blonde's face.

"Like all things in life, there is always room for improvement, Gail."

"_Burn_…" Gail put her feet up on Holly's desk making herself more comfortable. "I'm serious, Hol, take the next few days off. Come away with me."

"And where are we to go, girlfriend?" They both shared a knowing smile at Holly's word choice.

"Well…we could just hide out at your place. I'm sure we could find all kinds of things to keep ourselves busy."

Holly exhaled dramatically. "Four days at my place is not super interested. I need more incentive."

"Did I not say there would be activities? Activities are fun!"

"I see my apartment every day. Entice me with something more…scenic."

"Why is everything so much work with you?"

"You know you love it."

Gail paused for a moment. She really did love it. She loved everything about this moment, but expressing that was for another day. She tried to think of where would be the perfect place to go with her girlfriend. First thought was Niagara, but she hated the tourist vibe. Niagara-on-the-Lake had spas, but she wanted something different – something that could be just theirs. Finally a place popped into her mind. "I know a place…right on the water…far enough away to be alone but not too far that we need to spend all day driving...

"And where is this magical place you speak of? "

"Ever been to Owens Sound? It's not far from there. We could grab our stuff tonight and leave tomorrow morning. What do ya' say?"

"You've piqued my interest. Will there be canoeing?" Holly couldn't help but grin when she asked. Throwing Gail off her game was too fun.

"You want to _canoe_?

"I may. I'm quite into nature, you know. "

"You are?" Gail was ninety percent sure Holly was messing with her, but you just never knew.

"You know me, Gail. The first time we met was in the woods."

"Because of A DEAD BODY!"

"Yeah, we should probably tweak that "how we first met" story a little if people ask."

"Ya' think? Do you really want to do water sports all weekend? It's freezing out and I'm really not an outdoor kinda girl."

"That's a shame. I really love the outdoors: hiking, canoeing, _climbing trees_."

Gail locked eyes with Holly from across the desk. Damn it if she didn't just lose that round. She conceded, "I walked right into that didn't I?"

"Like a puppy on a leash."

"Holly, spend the weekend with me. I don't care what we do. Let's just get out of here."

"Gail…"

"Yeah?"

"I sent an email to my boss telling him I was taking off before you even got to the chair." Holly stood up and closed her laptop before throwing it in her bag. She then walked around the desk and bent down to place a kiss on Gail's lips before saying, "We need to be back Sunday morning. We promised Leo we would take him to the science center, remember?"

Gail tugged on Holly's shirt from her chair and pulled her back for a second kiss. "I'm pretty sure that promise was more about Traci and Steve wanting some time alone, but yeah, we can do that. I don't want you to miss an opportunity to get your 'geek' on."

Holly laughed and reached out her hand to help Gail out of the chair. "Care to go home and try a few of our own experiments?"

"We should...you know…for science."

"Go science!"


	8. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews and follows. I'm sorry this isn't Gail and Holly's weekend away. I never had any intention of writing that...it would have turned M anyway. :) Maybe it can be a companion piece someday.**

Gail stepped into the darkened bar looking around for her friends. It had been a few weeks since she had been to The Penny and it felt a little strange to be there. So much had changed since the shootings, she felt like a different person. In many ways she was…no, she thought, she wasn't different but finally figuring out how to be the person she really was – the person she somehow lost sight of more than a decade ago.

She really didn't have any desire to be at The Penny, but Oliver had organized a 'Welcome Home' gathering for Sam being released from the hospital and it was important she show her support. Sam was one of the good ones and she wanted to take part in celebrating his return. Also Holly had to work late so she was on her own. Being away from work for four days, no matter glorious those days had been had its consequences. The pile of cases sitting on Holly's desk that morning was probably going to keep her locked in that morgue until Wednesday. Knowing she was going to go home to her own apartment that evening should have made her cranky, but she was still riding off her high of the weekend.

It really was an amazing four days. They had left early Thursday morning and found a little bed and breakfast near Owens Sound overlooking the water. Gail doesn't remember a time she had ever laughed so much or shared such intimate details of her life with another person. They spent hours exploring each other's' bodies and then hours more exploring each other's' minds. Lying in bed together or on the sofa in front of the fire they talked about their childhoods, fears, triumphs, goals, dreams… She would wake up each morning nestled under a pile of blankets wrapped in this beautiful woman's arms and she never felt more at home. Typically if Gail had to spend that many days with someone, she would be anxious for space, but with Holly she felt more at peace having her near.

By Sunday morning, they both were ready to buy the bed and breakfast and never leave. Holly even jokingly tied her wrist to the bed frame with a scarf protesting by act of possession. Gail could easily trace that moment of theatrics as the reason they were late picking up Leo for the science center. As much as she had wanted to stay cocooned in their little oasis, she wouldn't have traded going to the science center either. Who would have thought Gail Peck would have thoroughly enjoyed going to such a geek mecca? If asked, she would have denied it, but she loved watching Holly show Leo how all the interactive exhibits worked and Leo was practically skipping he was having such a good time.

She spotted her friends at the far end of the room and walked toward them, first stopping at the bar to grab a tonic water and lime. Her friends had pulled a few tables together and seated were Sam, Andy, Traci, Steve, Noelle, Oliver and Celery. She spotted Dov and Chris loudly playing darts nearby and briefly thought about where Nick was. She hadn't seen much of him since Andy and he broke up. She knew from Steve he had accepted another undercover assignment that was going to begin later that week. Once again, he was being very 'Nick' by walking away believing it was the stoic thing to do. She let the thought pass – it was probably for the best.

She was greeted warmly when she arrived at the tables and stopped to give Sam a welcoming kiss on the cheek. She then slipped into the free chair next to Traci.

Traci turned toward Gail and amusingly inquired, "I'm sorry, is Gail Peck wearing a plaid shirt?" She didn't say it loud enough for everyone to hear but Gail leaned in closer to respond anyway.

"I lost a bet." Gail tugged at the bottom of the shirt with a quick grin.

"Do I want to know?"

"I believe that would violate your 'no details' policy. I kinda like it though…maybe I'll chop some wood after this or start tapping trees on the way home for syrup."

Traci just shook her head in disbelief. "Who are you?"

Both women started laughing a little louder, catching the attention of the others. Oliver decided to jump into the conversation and added, "Peck, I'm glad you came. You've been missed around here."

With a warm smile to both Oliver and Sam, Gail lifted her glass a bit toward the gentlemen. "Well, I wouldn't miss the chance to welcome Sam back." Sam tipped his beer towards her in return.

Steve placed his arm around Traci's shoulder and added, "Little sister, I owe you a drink. Actually I owe you many many drinks for taking Leo yesterday."

"Oh god, Steven, please don't wiggle your eyebrows at me. I'll puke on you. I will. You know I will." Gail said in disgust.

"It's all about the details, Gail." Traci said raising an eyebrow at Gail as she laughed.

"Don't call me Steven, Abigail."

Traci turned back to Gail with a surprised look, "Your name is Abigail? How did I not know this?"

Gail gave her brother a glare that would have dropped most men to their knees, but just made Steve grin even wider. "My name is _not Abigail!"_

"Dad wanted to name you that."

"And Mom thought it wouldn't be a good cop name. Anyone care to guess who won that debate?"

Traci shook her head laughing at the whole exchange and added, "Wait a minute, your parents decided you were going to be a cop in utero? Wow, Peck's really are hard core."

Steve leaned in placing his forehead near Traci's, "My dear, in the Peck Family, your fate isn't decided in utero, it's decided pre-conception."

Gail threw a pretzel at her brother making a direct hit on his forehead. "Don't ever mention conception and our parents again in the same sentence!" Everyone at the table nodded their heads in agreement.

Traci tried turning the conversation back by adding, "Seriously though, Leo was still going on about how much fun he had today when I picked him up from school. Thank you."

"Peck's head babysitter? A man goes into the hospital for a couple weeks and the whole world turns into 'Freaky Friday'." Sam commented sitting back enjoying his friends' lighthearted conversation. He noticed in the corner of his eye how much Andy was observing the whole scene and noted a tiny bit of jealousy flaring up in his girlfriend. It was fairly easy to know why - they weren't watching the banter of three friends; they were watching what appeared to be a family and Andy looked like she was feeling a little left out.

"Leo's way cooler than you losers." Gail joked as she pointed around the table before taking a drink of her water. As nice as it was to be with everyone, she missed Holly. She wondered if Holly hadn't had to work whether she would have invited her. She knew she would have been welcome. Almost everyone at the table already knew her from the lab, but they didn't know her as Gail's girlfriend – only Steve, Traci and Chris knew that. She was fairly sure Oliver knew, which meant Celery did as well, but both were not the type to bring it up. Before she could spend too much time dwelling on the subject, she heard Chris cheer loudly from across the room. Both Dov and he looked well past their share of the bar's liquor stock.

She nodded in the direction of her roommates and asked the table, "Speaking of losers, how much have my idiot boys had to drink?

Noelle rolled her eyes and shook her head in disapproval. "They were well on their way by the time we got here and had already taken over the darts. I don't think they've hit the target in the last twenty minutes."

Oliver added, "It's been a rough day for them… Chloe told Dov she needed time to work everything out and to not visit for a while. You know, she's still having a hard time with everything…"

The table got quiet for a second. They had all been to visit Chloe in the last few weeks. She was now in physical therapy and was possibly going to get released in the next week or so, but she was having a difficult time emotionally with the post-traumatic stress of the shooting. Dov and Wes silent competition for her affections wasn't helping the situation.

Andy picked up where Oliver left off, "Chris got a call from Denise today when we were on patrol. She told him she didn't want him talking to Christian anymore if they weren't going to be a couple - that it would be too confusing for him. She was trying to manipulate him. It just hasn't been a good day for either of them."

Gail reached into her purse to grab her phone and started texting, "Hey, Steve, does cousin what's-his-name still run highway patrol up in Timmons? You know the one with the weird hairline…"

"_Gail…_" Steve started to chastise his sister but pulled out his own phone nonetheless. "It's Mike, and yes… Here's his number. For the record, I strongly disapprove of what you are doing."

"You owe me remember…Sunday…alone time with your girlfriend… You want to experience that again, brother?"

"I'm giving you the number, aren't I?" Steve slid his phone across the table.

Everyone at the table figured out what Gail was doing with the exception of Celery. She inquired, "You're not going to have her arrested for murder or something are you? I know she hurt your friend…"

Gail didn't look up from her phone as she replied, "We are officers of the law. We do not make up crimes. We do however enforce the law. If that shrew happens to drive passed the speed limit or park in a loading zone, then the law shall be enforced…repeatedly. And she didn't just hurt Diaz; she threw his heart into a blender on multiple occasions." Gail looked up for a second, "Anyone happen to know her address?"

Andy reached over the table and grabbed Gail's phone and started to type. "I got it."

"Aren't you afraid of karma?"

"Celery, in this situation, I'm the karma and Denise is about to find out how much of a bitch I can be."

Gail took her phone back from Andy as they all moved on to chatting about their day. Noelle was showing off pictures of the baby and Sam was mocking Oliver every time he cooed at a new photo when Chris came up from behind Gail and wrapped his arms around her in a bear hug.

"Gail! You're here! You never come out and play anymore! Everyone's here!" Diaz was clearly drunk and his volume control was fairly nonexistent. Dov was not far behind him and grabbed the free chair near Noelle.

Gail squirmed from Chris' embrace trying to get loose. "Chris you're crushing me. Take a seat."

Diaz turned his head back and forth in an exaggerated manner a few times, "But there are no more chairs! Dov stole my chair. No wait, Gail! You stole my chair!"

Oliver tried reasoning with him. "Diaz, go grab another chair. We'll make room."

"No, I want my chair back." Chris paused for a moment like he was trying to figure out a difficult math problem and then yelled, "I got it!"

Before Gail knew what was happening, Chris had dragged her up so that she was standing, threw himself in the chair and pulled his roommate back onto his lap. She was going to protest, but Chris looked so pleased with himself she decided to just go with it. She twisted a little to get more comfortable and threw an arm around Chris' shoulder.

Chris wrapped his arms around Gail's waist and put his head on her shoulder. "Gail, you love me right?"

Gail just looked down at him with a confused expression and turned to the table mouthing 'help me' to her friends. She did not find it amusing when they all followed Sam's lead and put their hands up in the air in mock surrender.

"Gail….""

She relented with a deep sigh, "Chris, sure. Come on, why don't we go home. Dov's going to fall asleep on the table."

Dov popped his head up like a meerkat at the sound of his name. "Huh?" was all he could articulate. Noelle patted the back of his head when his forehead hit his folded arms again.

"I'm not ready to go home." Chris was pouting like a child. He grabbed Gail's drink in front of him and took a giant gulp. Looking very confused, he put the glass to his nose and then took another quick sip. "Gail, this tastes weird. What is it?"

Gail grabbed her glass from her friend seconds before Chris could drop it. "It's just tonic and lime - nothing weird about it."

Chris gave his best 'detective with a clue' look. "They forgot the alcohol. Gail, let's go get the alcohol."

"If I wanted alcohol, I would have asked for it. And you, my friend, have had enough tonight."

Chris flashed a huge grin and looked up at Gail excitedly asking, "Are you pregnant?"

"What! Wa..wa..why why would you ask that? No! NO!" Gail went to jump off Chris' lap but he squeezed his arms around her holding her in place. Her friends all looked a cross between amused and perplexed as to whatever Chris was going to say next.

Steve was practically doubled over laughing at his sister's situation. "Abigail, who's the daddy?"

"Shut it, Steven!"

Chris continued to ramble on. "Women who don't drink at bars are pregnant, Gail. Everyone knows…."

Gail put her hand over Chris' mouth effectively shutting him up. "Chris, I. Am. Not. Pregnant. Got it. I am going to remove my hand and then we are going to stand up. We are then going to get Dov - because he's drooling on the table - and I am going to take you both home where I may or may not kill you in your sleep."

Chris nodded with a look of a lost puppy and stood as he was told. "It's just; it would be really cool if you had a baby. Think about it, you and Holly could have him on the weekdays and I could be his weekend dad. Two moms and a dad would be awesome."

Gail froze. Everyone froze.

Dov finally lifted his head back off the table. "Who's Holly?"


	9. Chapter 6

There are moments in everyone's life that they remember with absolute clarity. Moments so perfectly etched into their minds due to the pure happiness, trauma, shame or pleasure that they can easily trigger the memory over and over like a movie on playback.

For Chris, this was one of those moments. Never in his life had reality and sobriety hit him faster or harder than watching one of his best friend's eyes go wide and her complexion go from fire to ice with just two sentences spoken by him in a drunken haze. Two sentences that could end a relationship he cherished more than almost any other in his entire life. Gail's eyes bore into him projecting more hurt and confusion than he had ever seen in his friend. If anyone was talking at the table, he didn't hear it. All he could hear was the silent plea of Gail's being asking why he would so casually out her in the middle of a bar – it was deafening. He had broken a commandment of friendship – maybe THE commandment of friendship and he deserved whatever was about to come to him. He couldn't stop himself from reaching out to her with a quiet call of her name, but he was too late. He had said too much. Gail had already taken two steps back, removing herself from their circle, before turning and quickly walking out the door.

Everything when from slow motion to hyper drive when he lounged forward to go after her only to be forcefully stopped by two very strong hands pushing him hard back into the chair. The owner of the hands, Steve, was in his face threatening serious bodily harm if he even attempted to move. He watched as Traci jumped up telling everyone 'I got her' then snarled at him for being an idiot as she grabbed Gail's coat and purse before chasing after their friend. All he could do was bury his head in his hands shaking back and forth questioning how he could be so careless with the emotions of someone he loved so dearly.

_-a moment earlier-_

Gail stood up and maneuvered around the corner of the chair prompting Chris to get up as well. He was happily rambling on about babies and she knew from past experience with a drunken Diaz that he was going to reach that turning point of going from 'giddy stupid pep squad guy' to ''maudlin weepy guy' in about three minutes. It was a lot easier to get him and his little buddy, Dov, in her car before it happened. She chose to live with them therefore they were her idiot boys to manage. As she went to reach for her coat, her head snapped back towards Chris at the mention of Holly and her. She darted her eyes to the table and took notice that everyone was watching the scene unfold when Chris took it a step further and said something about 'two moms and a dad.'

All the oxygen in her lungs fleeted from her body in a millisecond and her brain went from a cacophony of sound to an eerie silence. Her eyes froze on Chris for minute and then the walls of the room were suddenly closing in on her. She needed to breathe and she needed to get to the door as quickly as possible or the pounding of her heart that was now vibrating in her ears was going to burst in a million pieces. Her vision became tunneled as she felt her body go into autopilot pushing her to the door.

The cold air slammed against her as she stepped into the parking lot. It filled her lungs and made her cough in rebellion. She didn't care - she needed to see her breath to know she was still alive. She stood in the middle of the parking lot as she tried to process if what she thinks just happened really did. Maybe they weren't listening? Maybe they didn't pick up what he implied? Of course they did. It was a table filled with cops, detectives and a witch. They all knew she and Holly were the 'two moms' and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why that would be. And if they didn't figure it out by Chris' words, they sure as hell did by her reaction. She should have just played it off as stupid ramblings of a drunken guy. To deny it, though, would have meant denying Holly and she decided that seemed far worse than her friends finding out. What did Celery say about karma?

She reached for the phone in her pocket and realized it wasn't there. She patted her other pockets as well just in case. She wanted to call Holly…no, she needed to call Holly, but her phone was in the bar along with her coat and purse. She looked up at the sky and muttered "damn it" to no one but the stars. She didn't want to go back in there. She didn't want the questions or the invasion into her life. Half of them already knew or suspected, but this one thing should have been on her terms - not her mother's…or the division…not even Holly's, but Chris took that from her. God she wanted to hit him so hard, but that wouldn't have solved anything. Besides, the look of sheer horror and guilt that washed over his face was hitting him a lot harder than she ever could.

Gail looked out onto the street and wondered how long it would take to walk to the morgue. I was near freezing, but she estimated that she wouldn't be in a complete state of hypothermia by the time she got there. Before she could start walking, she heard the bar door close from behind her and footsteps heading in her direction. Her fight or flight instinct flared within her, but extinguished when she heard Traci's voice.

"Gail, here put on your coat. It's freezing." Traci walked toward her friend with hesitation. She felt like any sudden movements would send the blonde sprinting down the street like a terrified kitten. Gail pivoted on one foot facing her and held out her hand for the coat. She put it on quickly, burying herself as far into the warmth as she could, then reached out to grab her purse.

"No one but our table heard him. I swear. Gail, please come back inside." Traci knew Gail wouldn't, but she had to try at least once.

Gail just shook her head and looked over Traci's shoulder towards the bar. "Thanks for my stuff. I'm just gonna get out of here."

"_Gail…_ Don't run away." Traci took a small step toward her friend, forcing herself into Gail's line-of-vision.

Gail fidgeted in place and bit the inside of her mouth a few times trying to decide what to do next. "I'm not. Really, I'm not. I just…I just don't want…it's all so new, Trace…I'm not ready…."

"They aren't going to judge you. They're your friends. They just want you to be happy. There may be some questions…"

"It's Sam's 'welcome home' party, not my 'coming out' one." It was a lame joke, but gave her a few more seconds to absorb the situation. "I don't want questions, Traci. This is mine. I just wanted it to be mine for a while." Gail couldn't stop the tear that ran down her cheek, but she was too stubborn to acknowledge it.

"I know. I'm sorry." Traci understood Gail's need to hold on to something closely without having to give part of it away to others. She felt that way about Steve, but this was also somehow different. She then realized this wasn't about their friends at all. Chris hadn't just revealed a new relationship; he revealed a part of who Gail was at her core – a core she was pretty sure her friend rarely even allowed herself to see.

"I'm tired. I'll talk to you later, ok." Gail pulled her keys out of her purse and started to walk toward her car. Traci followed.

"Gail. Gail, wait…"

"It's fine. Tell Chris it's fine. I won't kill him in his sleep."

"If it's any consolation, he knows how badly he messed up. That, plus Steve may do the job for you."

Gail inhaled deeply. She was not expecting to have to deal with this tonight. She was surprised though that she wasn't actually all that mad at Chris. She had every right to be and he was certainly going to pay for what he did, but rage wasn't flowing through her like she thought it would. She smiled to herself amused at the notion that maybe therapy was actually working. She opened her car door, but turned to Traci one last time before climbing in.

"Tell my brother not to do too much damage to Diaz. I'll talk to the others later. I'm just not ready for group heart-to-hearts and sing-a-longs, ok. Look, if they have questions, just answer them. I don't care"

"This isn't my story to tell."

Gail paused for a moment before continuing. She felt like she needed Traci to understand something very important to her. "Traci, I'm not ashamed…of Holly…of this… It's not shame…"

"I know, Gail."

"I'm happy and I don't know how _to be_ happy. I don't want the other shoe to drop. I just want to protect this for as long as I can."

Traci nodded her head affirmatively and placed her hand on Gail's arm in comfort. "I'll let everyone know you're okay. ...they'll worry. They love you, you know. We all do. Whatever you need... Why don't you let me and Steve take you home?"

"Thanks, Trace. I'm good. Really. Can you make sure dumb and dumber get home okay? I don't want to have to pay all the rent myself when they end up in jail."

Traci smiled. It was endearing how Gail still looked after her roommates in her own way even when she likely wanted to chuck at least one of them off a bridge. "Chris may have to ride in the trunk, but I promise both will wake up in their own beds tomorrow morning."

"Fair. G'night."

"Good night, Gail."

Traci turned to head back into the Penny after watching Gail pull out of the parking lot. When she got closer to the door, she noticed a figure standing in the shadows. She immediately recognized that it was her boyfriend as he stepped into the light.

"Is there a dead Diaz in there? Do ya' need a getaway car? We'll need to stop and pick up Leo before we cross the border. We'll tell him it's a pancake run and he'll never be the wiser."

Steve placed his hand on Traci's cheeks and pulled her in for a tender kiss. "I barely touched him. What did the Peck siblings do to deserve having you in our lives?"

"It must've been something pretty amazing." Traci grinned at her boyfriend and put her hands around his waist, under his coat, to warm them up and get a little closer.

"…must have been. How's my sister?"

"She's okay. Hurt…but better than I thought she would be. She's probably already on the phone with Holly."

"Good. That's good. Holly's…good."

"You really are okay with all this aren't you?"

"Diaz? No, I'm only refrained from killing him because he looked like he was going to do the job himself which means a whole lot less paperwork for me. I hate paperwork."

Traci laughed, "I'm not talking about Diaz and you know it. Your sister totally flips the story of her own life and you barely even bat an eye. Why is that?"

Steve pulled Traci closer and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. "My sister did not 'flip the story', Traci. She finally put down the wrong book and started reading from the right one."

"Wait a minute, you've suspected…"

"No…as difficult as it is for me to say this even I'm not that good of a detective. Besides, Gail has never really lets people see what goes on in that head of hers. Do you know she dated Nick for a year before I met him? Even then she kept him at a distance. But Holly… Even from the beginning Gail treated Holly by a different set of rules…and I'm not talking about the woman-thing." Steve chuckled, "I'm not going to lie though; the woman-thing threw me a little."

"You don't show it."

Steve turned so he could begin directing them back into the bar. It really was freezing out there. As they walked in he added, "I love that brat. She's a pain and she's tough as nails to most people, but we're the only ones who know what it's like to grow up under the tutelage of Elaine Peck and that's a bond for life. My mom isn't a horrible person, she just has certain expectations – most of them fall on my little sister. I kinda got off easy and in return I try to look out for her. If Holly is what makes her happy, then I'm all for it. Hell, I'll even throw them a party."

"Yeah, don't do that quite yet." Traci laughed into Steve's shoulder as they snaked through the bar making their way to their table. "You're a good man, _Steven_."

"Don't call me that!"

"And here I was planning on screaming it later when we're alone." Traci teased.

"Or, you know, call me that repeatedly. I'm easy."

"Yes, yes you are."

Traci was not surprised, in the least, by the barrage of questions coming at her when they finally reached their group. Most were simply making sure Gail was okay. Andy was the only one that asked a more direct question inquiring if Holly was the woman from forensics. Traci nodded her head to which Sam replied that the pathologist was hot and Gail had good taste in women. That earned him a light smack upside the head from Andy. Traci didn't reveal much else though. She meant what she told Gail…this wasn't her story to tell.

**A/N: Yes, the next chapter brings back our favorite couple. ;-)**


	10. Chapter 7

**A/N: I was told there would be cookies if I posted quickly. That, plus a birthday by a reviewer seemed enough to go for two in one day. This is really a continuation of the previous chapter anyway. **

Holly squinted her eyes trying to focus on the slide under her microscope. She had arrived at work at seven that morning and hadn't seen daylight since. By how much her back was throbbing, it had to have been getting late. Of course, her back could have been hurting her from spending most of the weekend in bed with Gail. For someone who claimed to hate sports, her girlfriend had a certain mastery and energy for exercising the human body that she was in no way going to complain about.

It was hard to believe they had only been a couple for a few weeks. It seemed so much longer. She found she could anticipate the way Gail was going to move or what she was going to say in way she couldn't with others. As much as Gail claimed otherwise, Holly wasn't typically that perceptive of people. Bones and science are her thing – actual humans were a little more difficult. She really did prefer hanging out in the coat closet than being at the party. Holly was self-aware enough to know she was a little weird; but Gail was a little weird too and it all just worked.

If Holly hadn't known before how much she was falling for Gail, last weekend at the bed and breakfast would have broadcasted it like fog horn. She was doing her best though to not come across too strong. They had come so far in such a short period of time, she was afraid Gail would recoil with one wrong turn.

Holly sat back on her stool for a second and rubbed her back. She needed to concentrate on finishing her analysis and noting her findings before she could go home. Telladaro in homicide had already called her four times that day demanding it. Before she could lean back into her work, he phone started to vibrate from her lab coat. She really should ignore it, but she knew exactly who it was and the temptation was too great.

"This is the Dr. Holly, how may I service you?"

"Are you trying to get me to wreck my car?"

Gail's tone was flatter than usual. Holly looked at her watch and realized it was after eleven. Maybe she was just tired.

"Why are you driving and talking on the phone in the first place? You're a police officer."

"Quit worrying, I'm using one of those bluetooth things."

There was no humor in Gail's voice. Yep, something was going on and Holly suspected it was more than needing a good night's sleep. She decided to proceed cautiously. "Are you on your way home? You weren't at the Penny too long."

"My friends know about us."

Holly pulled the phone away from her ear so Gail couldn't hear her sharply inhale. They had talked about to whom and when they wanted to reveal their relationship over the weekend and Holly knew for a fact Gail said she wasn't ready for any grand announcements. 'My friends' sounded a little grander than pulling Dov aside on a coffee break. Leave it to Gail to start in the middle – she needed more information. "You told your friends? At the Penny? Who all…"

"I didn't say I told them, I said they knew. Diaz let his drunken lips do the talking."

She barely knew Chris Diaz, but she suddenly had an overwhelming desire to club him with a large blunt object repeatedly. He violated sacred territory among the LGBT community. It was simple; kind of like asking a woman if she were pregnant. You didn't do it even if they were visibly showing and sitting in the maternity ward.

"Gail, I'm leaving now. Meet me at my place."

"No, Hol, it's okay. I know you have a lot…"

"It can wait."

"No, it can't. I really don't want Telladaro showing up at your door tomorrow morning demanding his evidence. He smells funny and will ruin your sofa. I really like your sofa."

Holly smiled briefly. Gail really did pay attention to all her texts and phone calls. She clenched her fist conflicted. She really did need to finish this. Telladaro would make her life miserable and he really did smell, but she needed to be with her girlfriend. Gail was still trying figure out how to merge their relationship into her broader life and something like this could easily turn everything sideways. "Gail, we need to talk about this. Are you alright?"

"Yeah…yes. I just wanted to hear your voice." Holly could practically see Gail rolling her eyes on the other side of the phone for admitting that.

"I have maybe an hour of work left. I know you were planning on staying at your place tonight, but would…"

"Hol, I'm already walking up your steps. Take your time. I'm fine. I'll be here."

_An hour later_

Gail was curled up on her side under the covers in bed reading a science journal. At some point in the last few months she started picking them up when she was at Holly's and found them oddly relaxing to read. She wondered if enjoying learning about proteomics was something weird enough to talk to her therapist about. No…there were probably other things that happened that day she should mention a little sooner.

She heard the door open and close in the living room and keys and bags dropping as Holly got closer to the bedroom. That quick spark that started in her stomach and ran through her like a bolt of lightning every time she saw her girlfriend made itself known. She smiled into the pillow and dropped the magazine on the nightstand but otherwise didn't move. She knew Holly would come to her.

Holly quietly walked into the bedroom in case Gail was already asleep. As soon as she stepped in she noticed two blue eyes staring at her…waiting for her. She toed off her shoes and climbed into bed on top of the duvet behind the blonde to spoon her, but Gail turned quickly to face her instead.

Holly dragged her fingers across Gail's forehead pushing the fallen hair behind her ear before resting her hand on her girlfriend's waist.

"I'm here. I wish it were sooner."

Gail reached for Holly's hand on her waist and entwined their fingers. "I told you I was fine."

"What happened?"

"Ugh, it was all so stupid…so sudden. Chris was joking around. He had been drinking way before…"

"That's no excuse."

"I know. He didn't outright say 'hey, Gail's gay now.' I don't think he even knew what he was saying but it was heavily implied and anyone who didn't know totally figured it out. Well, except maybe Dov…Dov may now think I am dating a man named Holly. He was pretty far gone too."

"He had no right. You just don't do that kind of thing." Holly's voice rose slightly. She was mad at Chris and upset that someone would be so cavalier about something so unbelievably important to her.

Gail took pulled their clasped hands to her lips and kissed Holly's fingers one-by-one. "Hey, it's alright."

"You're not angry?"

"Well, I'm not happy about it. And Diaz will be punished in whatever form I choose potentially for weeks or months, but I don't know… They know now. I wasn't ready to tell them but I can't change it now."

Holly took a moment and carefully studied the woman lying next to her. Gail was clearly hurt by what happened but she was also strangely calm. For once, Holly wasn't sure what to say next. She went with something simple. "What did your friends say?"

Gail smiled. "I have no idea. I may have bolted. Based on the thirty text messages I received though, I would say they are fine with it." Gail especially liked Oliver's message, _'Life changes but doughnuts don't. I expect a dozen in the morning.'_

Holly returned the smile as she started to relax. "Of course they're fine with it. They're your friends."

"Sometimes I forget what it means to be a friend."

"Sometimes I think you want people to_ think_ you forget what it means to be a friend."

"I'll add that to my 'things to talk about with my therapist' list."

Holly closed the distance between them and kissed Gail gently. "I was worried this would be your emergency situation."

Gail pulled Holly even closer until the brunette was half lying on top of her. "I don't want to be that cat anymore. "

"Does that mean you don't want to climb anymore trees?" Holly began kissing her way down Gail's neck and collarbone pushing the blanket down so she could gain more access.

Gail arched her neck back and closed her eyes. "New cat, Hol; this one knows how to get down."

"How about we quit with the cats and trees," Holly said breathlessly. "Had I known you were naked under there the whole time, I would have stopped the conversation the first time you said you were fine." She had crawled halfway down Gail's body and was using her tongue to trace the contours of her abdomen.

Gail was quickly losing the power of speech but knew she needed to say one more thing. Taking more self-control than she knew she had, she put her hand on Holly's shoulder and pushed her up enough so that they were looking at each other. "Holly, I need you to know that I don't want to find a way out of this. I'm really trying not to fail here."

Holly bent down and kissed the tiny freckle she had found a few days earlier on the top of Gail's left breast. At the time, she had jokingly claimed the single mark on the otherwise pristine skin as hers on behalf of all the geeks, but now it felt more like a key to her girlfriend's heart. "Gail, this isn't about finding perfection. We're going to mess up, and fight, and make up…and hopefully make up some more. That's what couples do. Just tell me you're willing to fall and I promise I will catch you."

They looked deep into each other's eyes - a million words unspoken. Gail reached up and wiped a tear from Holly's cheek with her thumb as she whispered, "Holly, I'm falling."


	11. Chapter 8

**A/N: This is a bit of a weekend interlude and not overly plot forwarding. The next few chapters are what prompted me to write this in the first place. They are still in my head and not on paper so patience hopefully will be rewarded. Thank you all for the kind reviews.**

Gail glanced sideways at her girlfriend standing next to her in the elevator. Holly's leg was shaking and she was fidgeting with the six-pack of beer she was holding. A better person would immediately try to calm her, but Gail couldn't help take a moment to be bemused by the whole situation. It was rare to see Holly not come across as some pillar of stability for all that is good and knowing. The occasional ramblings or nervousness somehow made the brunette more human to her – more real and she found it oddly endearing. Sometimes it was nice to get to play the supportive one instead of the wreck of the day.

"Holly, the elevator is going to collapse under the stress of the Irish jig you are doing with your right leg."

"Huh?" Holly looked down and realized her leg was shaking. "Oh, well, you know…"

"It's just a hockey game. Interrogations aren't 'til Monday."

"You're not funny. That's not funny. It's all your friends."

"You've met them!"

"Individually…not en masse."

"Uh…the wedding?"

"That was different. We spent most of the time in the coat closet and we weren't 'us' then."

"Do you think spending half the night in a closet was a bit of foreshadowing?" Gail mused. For some reason she found the whole situation quite humorous.

It had been almost a week since Diaz revealed their relationship to everyone. A week of awkward conversations with Dov (who, immediately upon introduction, asked a very perplexed Holly if she were married); even more awkward not-so-cryptic fatherly advice from Oliver; and finding new and increasingly entertaining ways to remind Diaz that she owned him for the foreseeable future.

She had put Chris out of his misery by letting him know their friendship was still intact the day after The Penny incident, but couldn't resist making him pay. Her friends joined in, partially for their own amusement but also to show she had their support. Chris had 'volunteered' for desk duty every day that week and cleaned out every cruiser in the lot. Frank clearly had been told what had happened by Noelle because by Wednesday he had quit trying to hide his laughter every time Chris reluctantly raised his hand requesting to do some new, mundane task while half of parade quietly snickered.

By Friday, Gail had gained a new confidence and comfort level in talking with her friends about her relationship. She still kept most of it private, but didn't feel the need to hide quite so much. So when Andy decided she was going to have everyone over on Saturday to watch the game and suggested Gail bring Holly, the blonde had no qualms in saying yes. She failed to realize Holly may not have shared that same level of ease.

"Do you think we brought the right beer? Maybe we should go back to the store" Holly leg had finally stopped shaking but it had somehow moved to her arm.

Gail reached out and put her hand on Holly's arm and rubbed it up and down. "Holly, the beer is fine. You're fine. All is fine."

"You know, I've never walked into a home where I was the only one that didn't own a gun."

"Leo will be there. Traci won't let him have a gun until he's thirteen," Gail couldn't help but joke. It at least earned her an eye roll for her efforts.

The elevator stopped on Andy's floor and they got off and headed toward the door. Holly took a deep breath and went to knock, but Gail grabbed her wrist and used the leverage to turn Holly enough so that she was facing her.

"Hol, there is something I'm deeply concerned about."

"Oh, god…wha"

"That shirt…I cannot believe you are wearing a Senators shirt to this shindig. I may not watch that many sports, but even I know about the Battle of Ontario." Gail cracked a grin letting her know she was messing with her. Regardless she continued. "They are going to have _way_ more issues with this…" Gail pointed at the words across Holly's chest. "…then they are with this," she finished as she alternated her finger between the two of them.

Holly finally released her breath. Gail was enjoying this way too much. She would pay for it later. "It's my roots. Gotta stay true to my roots, Gail."

"Why must you remind me I am dating someone from Ottawa? You're asking for trouble. I tried warning you when you got dressed." Gail raised her eyebrows to drive home the point.

"You did a lot of things when I was trying to get dressed. I don't remember much conversation." Both women shared a laugh as Gail reached for the door handle and opened it. It was time to face the crowd.

"Yo, we brought beer, losers." Gail lifted the six-pack she was holding and reached out to grab the other one from Holly before placing both on the kitchen counter. The group all waved with variations of 'hello' too engrossed in the game for much else.

Andy walked toward them. "Hey, glad you two could make it. Holly, I don't think we have been properly introduced. I'm Andy. D'you know everyone else?"

Holly scanned the group quickly – Oliver, Celery, Sam, Traci, Steve, Leo, Chris and Dov. She had either met them all from work or through Gail at some point. "It's nice to meet you...properly. I think I'm good. Thanks."

"Great. Make yourselves at home. Oh, and you may want to burn that shirt before they see it."

Gail turned to Holly and mouthed _'told you' _with a big grin on her face. The women walked over to the living room where Leo jumped from his seat on the floor and ran over to greet them first. He started to ask Holly to help him with his book report when they were rudely interrupted by Dov.

"No, no, NO! Get that shirt off now. Holly, if you want to be here you've got to switch teams!" As soon as he said it, Dov's face immediately registered embarrassment and he started sputtering somewhat incoherently. Everyone else in the room paused for a second except Leo who was looking around rather confused.

The silence was broken when Gail burst out laughing to the point of tears. She took a step toward Dov, patted his slumped over shoulder and exclaimed, "Wow, I've really gotta get new friends." She then snagged his seat on the sofa.

For her part, Holly at least tried to hide her laughter but it was difficult and the hand over her mouth wasn't helping. She couldn't help but tease, "You know, Dov, I'm actually really happy with my choice of teams."

"What I meant was…you now…Ottawa…uh…"

"I know what you meant. Thanks for the laugh though." Holly winked at the Dov and then joined her girlfriend on the sofa after Gail demanded Chris find a seat on the floor.

Oliver walked up to Dov and smacked him once in the chest as he walked into the kitchen laughing, "You trying to out-Diaz Diaz there, Epstein?" Oliver then took a look at what Gail and Holly brought and turned toward them bellowing from across the room. "You brought pumpkin ale! Ottawa, you can stay!"

By third period Gail, Traci and Andy had moved into the kitchen and were standing around the island picking at the assortment of snacks scattered around. Gail looked over and watched her girlfriend animatedly talking to Oliver and Celery about something. Whatever it was, they were all clearly having a good time. She smiled at the thought of how well Holly seemed to mesh with these people she cared so much about. That room was her family – and Holly had somehow become the center of it.

"You know, you're smiling way too much. It's unnerving. Are you going to start being nice to everyone now?" Andy asked Gail with a grin of her own.

Gail grabbed her glass and poured herself more ginger ale. "That seems like a lot of work; maybe every other Saturday to start."

Traci held up her glass, "Hey, progress; I'll drink to that!" Andy and Gail joined in and clinked their glasses with a chuckle.

Traci looked down at Gail's glass. "You didn't drink at the bar Monday, you aren't drinking now. Maybe you really are pregnant!"

"Still not funny, Nash. Do you need me to explain how babies are made? Do you want _the details_ of what happens when two wom…" Traci's hand over Gail's mouth stopped her from being able to continue.

"You know Steve's a huge fan of "Steven" now - at least when I say it."

Gail narrowed her eyes at her friend. "That was low." She then dropped her jaw in mock horror and smacked Traci's arm. "Oh my god, you took an innocent sibling taunt I have effectively used since childhood and turned it into something sexual! I think I'm going to be sick. I really do need to get new friends."

"I like your friends." Holly said as she came up from behind Gail and threw and arm over her shoulder.

Gail leaned into Holly with her hip. "Their shine wears off quickly. You're friends are way more normal."

"Uh, you do realize RJ sings in drag cabaret on the weekends, right? He's really fantastic - we should go. On the typical social norm scale though, I'm pretty sure you're friends win."

Andy and Traci shared a brief look and a knowing smile. It was odd to see Gail so comfortable around someone else. Even after all these years with them, she typically kept a certain level of distance. Traci then used her glass to point toward the living room. "Yeah…that may still more normal than those boys…"

The four of them looked over to find Dov and Chris on their knees teaching Leo how to catch flying pretzels in his mouth falling over every few tries. The women all reduced into laughter.

Holly looked down at her watch and turned to Gail, "Hey, I got to go."

Gail huffed dramatically, "Yeah, yeah…can't you call in sick tomorrow?" She knew the answer, but couldn't stop herself from trying.

"I wish, but pre-trial starts Monday. I hate court weeks."

"Gail, are you leaving too? Steve and I can drive you..."

"Thanks, I'm going home with Dov and Diaz. Holly won't be allowed out to play until at least Tuesday so I'm going to hang out at casa Peckstein-Diaz."

"Is it a big case?" Andy inquired.

Holly shifted a little on her feet and hesitated answering. Gail did it for her. "It's the Ford case. His attorney pulled strings and got the trial moved up a few weeks to force the prosecution's hand."

Holly chimed in, "We'll be ready. Tomorrow's evidence review, so I just want to get home early tonight and be rested." Holly removed her arm from Gail's shoulder and took a step back. "Andy, thank you for inviting me; I had a great time."

Andy gave Holly a warm smile, "Of course. You're always welcome. We'll get you a new shirt though."

Gail put her hand on the small of Holly's back. "I'll walk you out."

Holly gave everyone else her good-byes and they walked out the door. Before she could reach for the elevator button, Gail wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck and pulled her in for a deep, long kiss.

Gail finally broke the kiss but kept her forehead touching Holly's. "Thank you."

Still a little breathless, Holly asked, "For what?"

"I don't know- for treating my crazy friends like your own…for being you."

"Gail…I…I'm going to miss you the next few days." It's wasn't entirely what Holly wanted to say, but for now it would do.

"I'll miss you too, but its better this way. You don't need the distraction and I need to make sure Chris folds all my laundry correctly." They smiled at the last part before Holly leaned in for another kiss.

"You're my favorite distraction, you know that."

"Yeah, yeah…please get on that elevator before I jump you in this hallway."

Holly did hit the button this time and reluctantly got on the elevator when it arrived. It had been a good day, she thought. Better than good, but something was missing. She didn't know how much longer she could go without telling Gail she loved her. She knew Gail was in this wholeheartedly, but to actually say the words was new to both of them and it was making Holly anxious – another day perhaps.

_Two Days Later_

Gail was frantically moving about her bedroom throwing her shoes and clothes into her bag. She was running late after her alarm failed to go off. It was Monday morning and Dov, Chris and she were all on early shift. She could hear her roommates milling about in the living room. Dov had already yelled at her twice to get moving and she was hurrying as fast as she could. For some reason though she had woken up already feeling like it was going to be a bad day and that knowledge was subconsciously slowing her down.

She stopped for a second when she heard what sounded like a knock on the door. It was seven in the morning. Who would be coming to their place so early? She heard a woman's voice talking to Dov and even from her bedroom with the door shut, she knew who it was. The darkness storming in the pit of her stomach made its presence known again.

She swallowed deeply, opening the door and walked down the hallway towards the voices. Before entering the living room, Dov screamed her name beckoning her.

"Jeez, I'm right behind you, Epstein." She needed the second to gather her composure

"Good morning, Gail." The icy tone was not lost on anyone in the room.

Gail turned to the woman trying to ready herself for whatever was about to happen. "Good morning, Mother."


	12. Chapter 9

_She knows._

Those words reverberated over and over in Gail's mind as she stood facing her mother. She had no idea how or when, but she knew. The fact that Gail wasn't the one to tell her first would, in no doubt, be a talking point. She also knew Elaine Peck wouldn't dare have this conversation in front of Dov and Chris and right now Gail was not above using them as a buffer. In maybe her best acting performance yet, she dropped her rigid shoulders and relaxed her facial expression.

"Mom, you've never been here before. Is everything ok? Is Dad, Steve…?"

"Everyone is fine, Gail. Can't a mother stop by to chat with her daughter?"

"Uh, sure. Want a tour?" Gail had no idea why she asked that. It sounded strange even hearing her own voice say it, but she had to stall this in some way.

Elaine darted her eyes back and forth in the room as she pushed an empty beer bottle on the kitchen table slightly with her index finger. "I'm pretty sure I can use my imagination as to what the rest of this place looks like. Gentlemen, I'm sure you have things to do. Gail, a minute, please."

Two common red-flags that her mother was ready to pounce on someone were her using 'please' and 'thank you' with a sugary smile and rudely dismissing people from the room if she wanted to use it. This morning she was double barreling and it did not take a genius to realize who was her target.

The thing about Elaine Peck though was she was never outright mean to anyone. She considered herself too classy for such ill manners. Instead she would smile and manipulate until she got her way. Gail knew she was walking into a trap and she had no way out; she had to try though.

"Mom, we're actually going to be late for work. Thanks for stopping by, but can this wait until later? Maybe, I can come by for dinner one night this week." _Or grab my passport and Holly and head for Paris, New York City, or Quam – anywhere but here._ Gail couldn't stop her mind from racing. She grabbed her bag and started to walk to the door praying her mother would follow.

Elaine looked over to Chris and Dov – both were standing absolutely frozen watching the tense conversation play out in front of them. Elaine gave them both a fake smile. "Why don't you boys go on ahead? Gail won't be long and she has her car. Isn't that right, honey?"

Gail couldn't recall ever recoiling from a term of endearment before. She needed to pull herself together fast or this disaster was going to be even worse. "Mom, I can't be late for parade. You know that."

"Chad will tell the sergeant I needed you for a family emergency, won't you dear?"

Chris opened his mouth to speak, but Elaine cut him off. "You know what; I'll just call Frankie myself. So much more effective when you talk to a person directly instead of letting them find out from other people. Don't you agree, Gail?"

There it was - the opening shot.

Even though every fiber of her being was telling her to run as fast as she could, she stood firm instead. This was going to happen and she was going to have to deal with it. She looked over at her roommates and nodded for them to leave. They quickly said good-bye and high-tailed it out of there. She didn't blame them; she would have done the exact same thing – she still may.

Once the door shut, Gail turned back towards the piercing gaze of her mother and chose to ignore the question asked. Instead she asked her own. "What are you doing here?"

Elaine walked around the kitchen table scanning the contents and stopped to look at a few photos on the refrigerator before pulling back one of the chairs and taking a seat. She gestured to the seat next to her. "Have a seat, Gail."

Gail paused for a moment observing her mother's demeanor. After assessing the situation, she decided to give her this one and dropped her bag and took a seat in the chair opposite of the one her mother wanted her to take – she wasn't going to completely let her win.

Elaine sat back in her chair and crossed her legs at the knee. Gail recognized the pose – she had watched her mother interrogate a few suspects when she was in the Academy for practice. She realized quickly that for this (whatever 'this' was) it was how Elaine was planning on treating her. What Gail couldn't figure out though was what was prompted this morning's mother-daughter torture-fest?

She knew she would get her answer soon. She kept her mouth shut and waited for her mother to talk first. It was one of Elaine's greatest weaknesses and Gail knew it – where her mother hated silence, Gail learned to thrive on it. It didn't take long for her mother to begin.

"You remember Andrew, my boss, don't you? You met him at our Christmas party last year."

Gail recognized Elaine was hedging, but she took the bait anyway. "Sure. Nice guy."

"…and his son, the one you dated?"

Gail couldn't stop the brief look of confusion on her face. Maybe she was wrong about why her mother was there? She inhaled deeply and tilted her head as is if she had to really try and remember who he was. "The guy with the fake British accent? We went on one very brief date a few months ago. You set us up."

"He studied in England, Gail. It's not fake."

"For _two years_!"

"He told his father there was something very fake about you though. You wouldn't happen to know what he was talking about, would you?"

Gail sat back in her chair. Elaine had delivered a perfect set-up for an interrogation question – divert, distract, disarm, then detonate. The suspect is left so confused they end up giving up more than planned. Elaine failed to remember that Gail learned from the best. "If Prince Harry called me fake for not wanting to sleep with him within fifteen minutes of us meeting, then that's fine by me."

Elaine decided to play her hand. "Actually, it was a more recent interaction that caused the comment. Were you in Yorkville on Friday? Some place called Hemingway's perhaps?"

Holly and she had met two of Holly's friends after work for happy hour. They had spent most of the evening on the heated porch laughing and telling stories. For the life of her, she didn't remember seeing 'brit-boy' there though. "I haven't seen that guy since we had coffee, Mom. Listen, I'm really going to be late for work. We can discuss this later."

Gail went to stand up, but stopped short when her mother slammed her palm on the table angrily and demanded Gail sit back down. She had never seen her mother visibly look so mad and her hand hitting the table seemed to be enough to open the flood gate.

"I get a call from my boss…MY BOSS, Gail…inquiring why I would set up his son on a date with my daughter who clearly doesn't seem to be all that interested in men. He asked me if I was trying to use his son as some sort of shield for you. I was shocked he would suggest such a thing. Why wouldn't I be? You dated Nick for years and Chad..."

"…Chris." Gail heard the correction come out of her mouth before she could stop it. It only fueled her mother's anger.

"You think I give a damn what that moron's name is!" Elaine stood up and walked around to the back of the chair. She leaned forward with her hands on the table and narrowed in on her daughter. "I told Andrew he was mistaken. I challenged the declarations of his own son because _my daughter_ would never lie to me like that. And that's when he told me about Friday. You may not have seen him, Gail, but he sure as hell saw you."

Gail was replaying that evening in her head over and over. They rarely showed any sort of physical displays of affection when they were out in public. They were all just eating dinner. What did he see? They even left early… Wait, it was when they left. Holly had a few glasses of wine and Gail was teasing her. When they walked out of the door, Holly had playfully pushed her and she tripped bumping into the brick wall. Gail pretended she had hurt her shoulder and Holly did what any good girlfriend would do and kissed it to make it better. They then shared a brief but very non-platonic kiss before heading to their car. That wannabe rat must have seen them.

The way Gail saw it she had three options – 1. Deny 2. Retreat 3. Attack. Unfortunately none of those options worked with her mother. She finally decided to go with an option she had never tried before when confronted by Elaine Peck – honesty.

Her voice was barely audible but she somehow got the words out. "Mom, I've been dating a woman for more than a month. She works…"

"I don't care where she works, Gail. Whatever you think this is; it's not." Gail caught the slight wince in her Mother's face. She knew her statement had threwn her off-guard, but she had regrouped quickly and the anger was still very much there.

"I know exactly what this is. I'm happy. Can't you just be happy that I'm happy?"

"Lying to your mother makes you happy? Embarrassing me in front of my boss is your way of having a good time?"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"No, you didn't. Why would you ever take any time to think about how this makes me look?"

Anger welled up inside Gail and she lashed out. "My love-life is not about 'how you look. THIS is why I was waiting to tell you."

"Oh, it became very much about me when you decided to parade your…your…whatever in front of town."

Gail jumped out of her chair and placed her hands on the table matching her mother's stance. "I believe the word you were looking for was 'girlfriend,' Mother."

Both women stood for a moment, eyes locked. Elaine tilted her head slightly and softened her expression and changed tactics. "Gail, you've had a very difficult year. You know I am very supportive of same-sex couples, but this isn't you. Maybe it was that lunatic that took you, or Nick leaving you again… You've always had a flare for the dramatic. Your father and I will help you. We'll find someone for you to talk to. We'll get through this."

Gail bent her head down in repulsion. She somehow stomached her way through the next sentence. "You think I'm mentally ill?"

Elaine was smart enough to know she was walking a very fine line with her daughter. "I didn't say that. I just think you need to re-evaluate some decisions you've made recently."

"I have a therapist. She's supportive of my life choices, unlike my own mother."

"Does this therapist know that this fling will ruin your career, Gail? The boys club still exists – I fight it every day. Not for me, but for you, daughter. People may seem supportive on the outside, but you'll start getting denied promotions or won't get an assignment and then what? This little rebellion of yours isn't worth it. We've worked so hard."

Gail was trying not to cry. She would be damned is she let her mother see her in tears, but she didn't know how to get out of this and everything was closing in around her. "So I'm just supposed to deny who I am for the sake of my job?"

"Gail, stop it already. This isn't who you are. It's an indiscretion that can be fixed. I'll tell Andrew you had too much to drink and were just joking around with a friend. "

"Oh, this isn't about my job, it's about yours. Of course..." Gail had no idea what was up or down or sideways anymore. Her mother was throwing the kitchen sink at her and she couldn't think but continued anyway.

"Do you think I just woke up one morning and decided to be gay? Do you think the thought just popped into my head the first time I saw Holly? I've struggled for a long time with accepting who I am…all of it. Don't take this away from me."

Elaine walked out of the kitchen and stood inches from her daughter. "You're not gay! You're a Peck."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Peck's follow certain rules. There are expectations of us and with that comes sacrifice. You will end this now and we will not discuss it again, do you hear me?"

To drive her point home, Elaine began walking to the door. Before she could reach it, Gail called out to her in a quiet voice.

"And if I don't?"

Elaine stopped in her tracks but didn't turn around to face her daughter. "If you don't understand what it means to be a Peck, then you don't deserve to be in this family." She then walked out the door without a second glance.

Gail was visibly shaking, too stunned to move. The cradle had been rocked and the bough was going to break.


	13. Chapter 10

Gail slipped into the back of parade and leaned against the wall. She was so late Frank was already finishing his announcements. She put her head down, hoping not to get noticed – not because she was worried about being reprimanded, but because if even one person said her name right now it may put her over the edge.

Her head was swimming and her stomach was churning greasy bile that was threatening to make an appearance every few seconds. She couldn't even remember how she got to the station. At some point shortly after her mother had left the apartment, she had thrown her body on auto-pilot to try and shut down the roaring engine in her head while her breathing somehow stayed on manual – having to remind herself to continuously inhale and exhale as to not pass out. It was exhausting her and she had no idea how she would make it through the day.

Gail closed her eyes for a moment only to hear her name being called somewhere in the distance. She forced herself to look up towards the sound only to be confronted with dozens of eyes staring back at her. Running out of the room was an option she strongly considered, but instead found herself standing a little taller in acknowledgement silently waiting for whatever Frank was going to dish out. If ever there was a day she should have called in sick, she thought, it was this one.

"Peck, so nice of you to join us this morning; did you stop for a cappuccino, maybe a scone? You didn't bring any for the rest of the class." Frank had a jovial tone, but Gail just took each word like a dagger to her heart. The snickering from everyone in the room only heated her embarrassment more. Clearly her mother never called her boss…not that she ever thought she would - this was all part of her punishment for crimes sentenced by Elaine Peck.

Gail stayed quiet and scanned the room. She couldn't help but notice Dov, Chris, Andy and Traci giving her very concerned looks. It just fueled her anger at the whole situation knowing one of her roommates must have gossiped about her mother coming by that morning. Why couldn't people just leave her alone?

"Office Peck!" Frank's tone had a slight edge to it. He must not have been pleased with her not answering him directly. She couldn't handle any more confrontation today so she somehow managed to find her voice. "Yes, sir," was all she could get out.

"You have won yourself an all-expense paid trip to the evidence locker today. Hope the scone was worth it."

Before she could respond, Chris raised his hand and began volunteering to switch like Gail and her friends had made him do all last week. This time though Gail stopped him mid-sentence and accepted the assignment without debate. Hiding in a room full of inanimate objects was far more appealing to her at the moment than being stuck in a car playing twenty questions with another officer – no matter who it was.

Frank dismissed everyone and Gail pivoted quickly to get out and into the evidence room without anyone following her. She didn't make it ten-feet before hearing Traci calling out her name from behind quickly followed by Dov, Andy and Chris. She stopped, clenched her fists and looked up at the ceiling begging that this day just be over. She was pretty sure her legs were visibly shaking but had absolutely no control to stop them. Before she even had a chance to turn, her friends were surrounding her.

Traci took a step toward her. "Hey, Dov said your mother…"

"Dov needs to learn to keep his trap shut about other people's business," Gail snapped glaring at Epstein.

"Hey, he was just concerned. We all are." Traci tried to put her hand on Gail's arm but was quickly rebuffed as the blonde took a step forward trying to remove herself from the circle.

"I'm fine. Just leave me alone. I have evidence to catalog." She took another few steps down the hall but, much to her chagrin, the four followed.

This time it was Chris trying to get Gail to talk. "You mom seemed…well, she…we thought maybe she knew about…"

Gail turned her scowl toward Chris. If they were going to keep cross-examining her then she wasn't going to make it easy. "About what, Diaz? Huh?" She then outstretched her arms dramatically waving at the people walking by. "Are you going to tell everyone in the station about my _private_ life now too? 'Cus you know that would really make my day. Leave me _alone_!"

"We just want to help, Gail," Andy said at the same time Dov chimed in, "Gail, talk to us, we're your friends."

"I don't need help and I certainly don't need friends that gossip like little girls. For the last time, leave me the hell alone." Gail snarled as she quickened her pace to get away from them. This time they didn't follow.

_Six hours later_

Gail was bent over trying to concentrate on the numbers she was writing on the evidence sheet. It was her third attempt at the same information and was frustrating her to no end. She had spent the entire day hiding in the evidence room and was grateful her friends had backed off. She didn't know where they were and she didn't care. She had the day to herself and should have used it to sort everything out, but every time she tried to think about it all she heard was her mother saying '_…you don't deserve to be in this family_.' It played like a broken record over and over and was nearly making her physically ill. She just wanted the day to be over.

She looked down at the processing slip on the envelope and realized she put the numbers in the wrong spot again. She cursed to no one and threw it in the garbage. She reached for another sheet and cursed again when she saw that it had been the last one. With a groan she got up and went to the back of the room to grab more.

She was absentmindedly walking back when she heard a voice call out to her. She jumped, startled at the intrusion, and dropped the papers. Cursing again, she bent down to pick up the papers as Holly walked over to help.

"What are doing here? I thought you were in court?" Gail couldn't hide the frustration in her voice and Holly immediately picked up on it.

Holly handed her the pile of papers and they both walked over to the desk where Gail just dropped them haphazardly. Holly smiled, "Prosecution got a continuance. Dockets full so I don't have to go back for two weeks! So I was thinking tonight we could…"

"I'm sorry. I have plans. I didn't think you'd be around." It was a lie and they both knew it. Gail wasn't making any sort of eye contact and her body language was screaming for distance.

Holly's inner alarm started going off – something about Gail wasn't right. She fought the little voice telling her to walk out of the room now before it was too late – she cared too much. "Gail, what's going on? What happened?"

Gail started fiddling with the papers in front of her. She had too much going on in her head and needed time and space. She hadn't factored in seeing Holly today and it was frightening her to no end. She didn't trust herself to make the right choices - she needed to get Holly away from her.

Gail took a deep breath, "Holly, I'm trying to work; you really shouldn't be here. We'll talk about it later."

Holly wasn't ready to give up. Whatever was bothering Gail was clearly significant and it was killing her to see her girlfriend so distraught. "What is "it," Gail? Come on, talk to me," she pleaded.

Holly closed the distance between them and went to put her hands on Gail's shoulders but Gail batted them away and took a step back. She was standing close to the wall with the desk on her left, the shelves on her right, and Holly in front. Not for the first time today, she felt trapped and she needed to get out - she needed to get out _now_.

"Holly, get out of here. Please."

"No. Not with you like this. I'm worried…"

"I'm fine. I just need…need…just go home."

"Gail. I told you I would catch you. I'm here catching you. Let me."

It was too much. Gail couldn't think. Why wouldn't Holly walk away? "I don't need you to catch me right now. I need to finish my job. Leave."

Holly shook her head. She had no idea what was going on, but she knew Gail was very close to breaking over whatever it was and she simply couldn't comply with Gail's request.

Gail still hadn't looked Holly in the eye, but she had looked up enough to see the brunette's head shaking 'no.' She couldn't process the emotions spiraling around in her head like a tornado fast enough, so she resorted to the one coping mechanism she knew she could always trust – lashing out.

"I told you, I don't need you. You're not my damn savior, so just stop it."

Holly took a step back as if she had physically felt the words hit her. "Gail, this isn't you."

_'This isn't you…this isn't you...' _It's what her mother had said earlier. The words churned inside the pit of her stomach threatening to violently escape.

"You have no idea who I am!" Gail's voice had raised and she took a few steps toward Holly. "We've known each other for what, a few months? You think you have me figured out? You don't. Look, it was fun Holly, but this isn't working. Chalk it up to a failed experiment."

Holly recoiled at the word 'experiment.' She had pushed Gail too far and she knew it. She took a moment to beat herself up before quietly saying, "Please don't do this."

Gail began to laugh at whatever internal monologue was running in her heard causing Holly to visibly flinch in confusion. She sneered, "You know, it turns out you really can't change what cat you are. Here's the emergency, Holly. You want to know who I am; this is it. Get out!"

Holly took a few steps back toward the room entrance. Tears were rolling down her face but she didn't bother wiping them off. Her tone was quiet but strong "Shut up with the fucking cat already. I'm not giving up on us just because your having a bad day. I don't know what happened and I really want to help you, but I will not be your punching bag. I told you when we started this that I wasn't like the others and I meant it. I can't be chased away so easily, but if you want space – take it. Call me when you're ready to be an adult." Without another word, Holly walked out the door shutting it behind her.

Gail felt her body falling backward until it hit the wall. Her knees were close to buckling under her, but somehow she managed to stay upright. She hugged her body with her arms shaking back and forth and she looked up to the ceiling trying to keep herself from hyperventilating. Her world was crashing around her and she didn't know what to do. All she knew was she needed to escape the screams in her head, the stale air filling her lungs and the feeling of dread threatening to drown her.

**A/N: All I can say is you're going to have to trust me a little on this. I do know where it is going. **


	14. Chapter 11

Gail sat on the bench in the empty women's locker room holding her Kevlar vest in front of her. Minutes after Holly had walked out, Gail found the strength to pull herself together enough to get to Frank's office and request the rest of the day off. She only had a few hours left on the shift and thankfully her boss didn't ask too many questions. She imagined her ashen face and inability to stop her hands from shaking made for a very believable tale of the stomach bug she claimed to have. She had quickly changed with every intention of bolting as fast as she could, but instead found herself parked on the wooden seat tracing the stitching on the Velcro label repeatedly.

_'PECK.' _She had heard it countless times in her lifetime; four simple letters that carried so much weight. Those letters defined her - they were her identity. Every choice she had made since she could remember was wrapped in the knowledge that being a 'Peck' came first. The family business became her business. The dreams of her mother became hers to attain. Her triumphs reinforced the goals and her disappointments were held to the highest scrutiny. She didn't know how to be anyone else but a 'Peck.' Giving it up meant losing a part of herself that she was afraid she would never find again. She sighed. It didn't matter anymore. She pushed away the one person that could have helped her. It wasn't worth it now – none of it was worth it. She threw the vest in her locker and then threw her bag in too. It could all stay – she didn't care.

She took the back exit out of the station, careful to not let anyone see her. As soon as she stepped into the parking lot, she allowed the freezing air to cut into her lungs like a knife. It felt good, she thought - she deserved the pain. She started her car and got to the end of the lot; her apartment was to the left, but she knew she wasn't turning that way. There was another place beckoning her; calling out to her like an old friend waiting for their fix. She didn't even think twice before turning right and driving to the one place that could help finish her own self-destructing day.

_Two Hours Later_

Traci sat at her desk, shaking her leg nervously. She tapped the phone with her pen a few times contemplating if she should call. She had done her best all day to give Gail the space she had demanded, but she couldn't help but walk by the evidence room a few times to check up on her friend. Each time Gail had her head down working. She looked distant and somewhat paler than normal, but she was there and for the moment that was enough to appease Traci.

The last time she checked though, Gail wasn't in the room – Martinez was. She questioned were her friend was and got some rambling about Peck showing up late this morning and still managing to go home early while he had to cover the rest of her shift. She practically ran back to her desk and tried calling Gail, only to get voice mail after voice mail. She called Dov and Chris and made them drive by their apartment but she wasn't there. Andy reported in not seeing her car in front of The Penny either. She thought about calling Holly, but she remembered she was in court and would have no idea what was going on. That left Steve.

She hated calling him. He had worked all night and hadn't arrived home until late that morning. What if Gail was fine and she was turning this into some crazy drama? The melodramatic girlfriend was not a role she wanted to play. But this was Gail – her friend and confidant; the woman that helped her read Jerry's wedding vowels when she couldn't find the voice to do it on her own. She picked up the phone and hit the button to Steve's landline. She knew he wouldn't ignore it – he only had it for emergencies. If she were blowing this out of proportion, she could apologize later.

It took a few rings, but Steve finally picked up. He groggily said "Hello."

"Hey, it's me."

"Trace? What? Why are…"

"I'm sorry. I know you were asleep…maybe it's nothing. She may just be driving around but…"

"Who? Traci, what's going on?" His voice was laced in concern. He grew up with cops and he knew the undercurrent in Traci's tone better than anyone.

Traci took a deep breath. "Steve, your mom stopped by to see Gail at her apartment this morning. Dov and Chris were there, they left before they could hear any of the conversation. Based on what they did see and Gail today at work, I would guess your mother somehow knows about Holly. I would also guess that the conversation did not go well."

Steve sat up in bed and threw his feet on the floor. He rubbed his face with his hand a few times and grabbed his mobile from his pants pocket hung over the chair. There were at least fifteen missed calls from his mother and a few from his father as well. He sighed as he started to throw on the same clothes he had been wearing all night.

"Where's she now? You said she was driving?"

"I don't know. I was checking on her throughout the day and then I got caught up in a case. She left a couple of hours ago and no one knows where she went. Steve, I'm sorry…"

"Hey, don't. You're looking out for her. Hold on a second."

He put the landline down on the table and accessed the voicemail on his mobile. The first call was his mother. It was a fairly long message explaining that she expected him to come over that evening because they needed to discuss what do about a 'situation with his sister.' She also not-so-subtly implied that if he knew about it this whole time, there were a few things they needed to discuss with him as well. The second message was from his father simply telling him to call him.

He hung up and grabbed his other phone. "Sorry, I was listening to a voicemail rant by my mother. She definitely knows and isn't happy would be an understatement. I can't even imagine she said to my sister. We need to find her. Where's Holly?"

"The Ford case started today, remember. She is probably still stuck there."

"Can you call her anyway?"

"Yeah, of course… I can't believe your mother is acting this way."

"Have you met my mother?"

"Yeah, but if Leo told me he was gay, I wouldn't be like this. I don't get it. I thought people were passed this kind of thing?"

Steve used his head and shoulder to hold the phone while he finished buttoning his shirt. He unintentionally laughed at Traci's questioning. "You know, the thing is, if Holly and say, Andy, were dating my mother would probably invite them over for dinner and never think twice about it. But this is Gail and this just doesn't fit into the image she has created for her. Something I think Gail is nothing more than that image to my mother. I don't think she's ever tried to really understand her."

"So create a new image."

Steve grabbed his keys and started for the door. "I wish it were it were that easy. I know my little sister and if my mother was even half as bad as I think she was, then Gail's not in a good place right now. I'm heading to the station. We need to find her before she does something stupid." Steve hung up the phone and threw in the vicinity of his living room before slamming the door behind him.

Traci immediately stood and started walking into the hallway. She caught Dov, Chris and Andy coming off shift and gave them an update. She then followed McNally into the women's locker room so Andy could change as she dialed Holly's number.

Holly picked up on the second ring. "Hello."

"Holly, its Traci. Are you still at the courthouse?"

"What? No. I'm home. Traci what's going on?" Holly picked up on the nervousness in Traci's voice.

"Have you talked to Gail today?"

Holly repeated the question. "Traci, WHAT is going on?"

"It could be nothing. It's probably nothing. It's just, she left work early and no one knows where she went. I was hoping…"

"I stopped by the station earlier and we got into a fight. She told me to get out and I did." Holly started pacing in her living room. A million scenarios started running through her head as to where Gail could be. Guilt started welling up inside her - she should have never left her.

Traci removed her gun and put it in her locker and then grabbed her purse and keys. "Holly, did Gail tell you what happened today?"

Holly's voice was audibly shaking, "No. I tried to get her to talk. She wouldn't. I knew something was wrong and I left anyway."

"Hey, this isn't your fault. She's probably just taking a long walk."

Holly huffed at the thought, "Traci, you know as well as I do Gail does not commune with nature willingly. What happened?"

"Her mother and she got into some kind of argument. No one knows the details, but it wasn't very good."

"About me? Oh god…"

"Holly, let's just find her, ok. Then we can all take turns yelling at her for worrying us."

Before Traci could continue, Andy called her over to Gail's locker. Andy had picked up something off the floor and was handing it to her. She looked down and her eyes went wide.

"Listen, Holly, we're going to find her. We'll call you as soon as we do."

"What? No! I'm coming."

"No, wait there. Maybe she'll come to you. Steve, Andy, Dov, Chris and I are going out now. I promise we'll call you the second we find her.

Holly stopped pacing. She needed to think this through logically. Gail had come to her before in the middle of the night when she needed support. After today she doubted it, but maybe Traci was right. "Alright…the _second_ you find her!"

"I promise."

Traci hung up and looked down at the patch in her hand – the one Andy found on the floor – and brushed her thumb over the letters – P.E.C.K. She gave Andy a very concerned look and then turned to open Gail's locker.

"You know the combination?"

Traci didn't answer – she just started rolling the dial to the lock. It popped open a second later. All the clothes Gail would typically take home were stuffed inside. They also found her mobile phone tossed in the corner, but that wasn't what they were looking for. Traci reached in the back and grabbed the box. She opened and closed it before throwing it back in and quickly shutting the locker. Both women let out the breath they were holding then walked out of the room joining Chris and Dov. Steve was racing toward them from down the hall.

As soon as Steve reached the group; the guys all started talking at once coming up with places Gail may be. Andy interrupted them.

"Guys, Gail's name tag was on the floor. It doesn't just come off…"

Traci handed the patch over to Steve. He took it and started mindlessly opening and closing his hand around it. He was very quiet for a second but then looked up directly at Traci. "Was her…where…?"

"It was in the locker. All the bullets were there. Steve, she wouldn't. It's bad, but Gail would never…"

"When she was seventeen she wrapped her car around a tree. Somehow she wasn't hurt that badly. My parents thought it was an accident. I always wondered."

Dov broke the silence; thoughts of his own sibling running through his mind. "Let's find her. We'll split up. Chris and I will circle back to the apartment and…"

Steve interrupted, "Gail's a creature of habit. She'd go somewhere she knows even if she was trying to get away. You checked The Penny?"

Traci looked over to Andy who replied, "I drove by on my way here. Her car wasn't in front."

Chris jumped in, "Gail doesn't park in the front. Someone dinged her car so she parks on the side street."

Andy shook her head, "I didn't know. Gah, I can't believe I didn't look."

Steve was frantically searching on his phone. He found the number he was looking for and began calling. "Hey, this is Steve Peck. Is my sister there? Blonde, blue eyes…yeah…uh huh…ok…thanks."

"She's there. She's drinking her way through the bar. Let's go."

Traci started dialing Holly back as they all left the station. It was time to help a member of their family.

**A/N: I found the rest of my Sunday was spent writing. I'm travelling for the next two days, so I'll do what I can when I can. I know I'm putting Gail through the ringer, but I feel like it's a legitimate character reaction. Again...I hope you trust me a little. As always, thank you all kindly for the reviews. **


	15. Chapter 12

Gail sat at the bar holding her head up by her hand. She had lost count the number of shots she had – who was she kidding, she never started counting. Luckily the evening shift had the kind of bartender that would look the other way when someone needed to get truly wasted.

She had no idea how long she had been there. It could have been minutes or hours – she didn't care. She wasn't going to leave until she was either kicked out or passed out. She had nothing to go home to and anyone that would have looked for her she had sufficiently pushed away at some point during the day. The only thing she had left was to chase every burning shot of liquid down her throat with another shot until all the pain went away.

Gail sensed someone sitting down on the stool next to her. Whoever it was had no idea the wrath incurred by the two previous people who did the same otherwise they would have stayed far back.

"Haven't seen you hear in a while."

Gail rolled her eyes backward to the ceiling and let out a malicious laugh. '_Of course_,' she thought, '_just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse.'_ She took the shot sitting in front of her and hit the bar with her palm a few times demanding another before slightly turning her head in the direction of the guy sitting next to her.

"I see the devil on my shoulder has decided to make an appearance. Beat it, Blackstone."

Blackstone took a sip of his drink and leaned in closer to Gail's ear. "Come on, Peck, is that any way to treat an old friend?"

Gail took the new shot that was placed in front of her and downed it without even a wince. She couldn't feel it anymore. She then glared at the man sitting next to her. "You and I were never friends."

"Oh that's not true…maybe not friends, but we were certainly friendly once. Or was it twice?" He gave Gail a self-satisfied smirk before cocking his head to the side and inquiring, " You still cryin' over Collins, Gail? He's doing great work undercover; must burn that he left you again."

Gail practically snorted at the absurdity of the accusation. "Jake, go bother someone else. You're killin' my buzz."

"I like bothering you. You give as good as you get – in every arena." Blackstone waved the bartender over for another round.

Gail was done with this conversation. She swiveled on the stool enough so that she looking Blackstone square in the face. "Go to hell."

Blackstone put her hands on Gail's knees and leaned in, "Looks like you're already there. Want help finding the way out?"

Gail stared at the man offering her an escape. Jacob represented everything she hated about herself and with one nod of her head she could finish the wrecking job of her life she had started this morning. In her hazy drunken state, it was an incredibly tempting offer, but some part of her just couldn't let herself fall that far. It was the part that had healed itself over the last few months and was fighting like mad to not be extinguished.

She took a deep breath and put her hands on top of Blackstone's angrily pushing them off her. "Don't touch me. The next time I have to tell you to get lost it will be with my boot connecting to your…"

"Fine." Blackstone threw his hands up in mock surrender showing he wasn't going to persist. He couldn't help throw in another dig though, "I guess the rumors about you are true, Peck."

Gail turned back to the bar and took the shot Blackstone had ordered for her. "Why are you still speaking?"

"So were you always into chicks or is this a new development? I could totally…aghhh" Blackstone jumped off the stool quickly brushing off his pants from the drink Gail had backhanded off the bar and into his lap without ever even looking in his direction.

"Damn it, Peck. My god, you really are one hell of a bitch aren't you. I wouldn't look to get undercover work anytime soon if I were you."

Gail just ignored him and waved the bartender over again. She couldn't help but smirk when she noticed Blackstone furiously leaving the bar still trying to get the liquor off his pants.

The bartender finally came over sans bottle. "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm cutting you off."

Gail squinted in contempt at the man in front of her. "I'll tell _you_ when I done."

"Listen, I don't want to get in trouble here. Your brother…"

"My brother what?" Gail was pretty sure her voice had risen by the number of people that were suddenly looking in her direction.

The guy leaned in a little trying to handle a very irritable Gail. He very calmly said, "He's on his way. Just give me your keys, alright. You want leave before he gets here, fine, but I can't let you walk out of here like this and into your car. We'll lose our license."

Gail contemplated her options as quickly as she could in her highly inebriated state. She finally pulled her keys out of her coat pocket and slammed them on the bar. When the bartender took them and turned to put them in the safe box, she threw all the cash she had on the counter, stood on the stool enough to reach over the bar and grabbed the first bottle she could get her hands on before heading out the door.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Gail leaned against the doorway and popped the pourer off the bottle, throwing it on the ground and took a large swig. She started walking into the evening chill when she looked up and realized it was snowing. She groaned knowing what a cold, horrible walk she was in for to her apartment. She briefly thought about hailing a cab, but she was still coherent enough to be reminded of the last time she got into a taxi alone. The flash of memory subconsciously lifted her right hand up with the bottle so she could snag another drink.

She steeled herself for the long walk and looked forward narrowing her eyes for some clarity only to see five very familiar figures walking towards her. Her brother was leading the pack.

Gail cursed to the sky and went to pivot away from the incoming group but she lost her balance and began to stumble. She righted herself before they could get too close. "Well, well…if it isn't 'Stevie and his gang of merry rookies.' Come by for happy hour? Be careful, the bartender's an ass."

Steve walked up to Gail first but didn't encroach upon her space. He knew better than to get too close too fast. "Gail, we've been worried about you. Let's go home and we can work this out."

Gail walked through the group so that she had the space of the parking lot to free her from feeling trapped, but she didn't run. Instead she took another pull from the bottle and then turned back toward them holding it out at arm's length and started laughing hysterically.

"Home! HOME! What's that, brother? Huh? I don't have a home." Her mockingly jovial face turned into one of utter sadness before she lowered her head and kicked something with her foot only she could see.

Dov took a step forward. "That's not true. You have us."

He took another step forward closing in on imaginary circle of space Gail had carved out for herself. It was enough of an intrusion to get her hackles up and put her on the defensive. "Epstein, go call your girlfriend and her husband. Maybe the three of you can work out some sort of schedule."

Dov took a step back. Andy tried next, "Gail, we just want to..."

"Really? I don't need your self-righteous bullshit next, McNally. Go home to Sam. Or is it Nick this week? I get so confused."

Steve was trying not to get mad at his sister – they all were. She may have been spewing out venom but her body language was telling a very different story. Still he couldn't help but chastise his sister. "Stop it, Gail. These are your friends."

"I don't need them and I don't need you," she sneered before taking another drink. "I have other friends – ones that don't judge me or reveal my secrets." She threw a spiteful glance at Chris before continuing.

Holding up the bottle, Gail said in a sing-song voice. "This here is my friend, Jack. He's got my back and my friend Jose makes everything rosy." Gail laughed at her own joke as she lost her balance again coming very close to falling but managed to take enough steps toward a parked car to use it to steady herself. The movement caused her head to spin and immediately threw her back into a state of melancholy.

Traci was watching the whole exchange quietly figuring out her move. She was also trying to calculate how much alcohol Gail could have drank in the last two hours and still be on her feet. She was genuinely worried her friend was going to end up needing her stomach pumped if she continued drinking the way she was. Traci quickly walked over to Gail, before the blonde could react, and took the bottle out of her hand. It wasn't very difficult – Gail's reflexes were shot.

"What the hell are you doing? That's mine!" Gail lunged forward trying to get the bottle back, but it was too late. Traci was already pouring the whiskey out onto the ground.

Traci held the empty bottle backward and Chris immediately grabbed it. She then focused her attention back on the drunken woman in front of her. "Get in the car, Gail. You can pick where we end up, but we're getting out of the snow and somewhere where you can sleep this off."

Gail blinked her eyes a couple times trying to focus and staggered a few feet back to the middle of the parking lot. "You are not my fucking mother. I don't have a mother anymore."

Everyone, including Gail, became silent. There it was – the reason they were all there. Steve's breathing quickened as it sunk in just how far his mother must have gone. He clenched his fist in rage and swallowed hard. He stepped back into Gail's line of vision.

"What did she say to you?" His words were slow and measured not displaying the anger boiling inside him.

Gail started shaking. She was doing everything she could not to crack but the day was getting too long and the whiskey had killed her defenses.

"It doesn't matter, it's over. It's all over."

"That's not true. Gail. Come on, this isn't you."

There is was again – '_This isn't you.' _First her mother, then Holly and now Steve – one final act of rage stormed inside her. She lost all control and began screaming. "Shut up! You don't know me! Nobody fucking knows me! I don't know ME!"

Gail stumbled backward but somehow stayed vertical. Burning hot tears were running down her face and she was hiccupping trying to catch her breath. Regardless, she carried on, "You want to know what I am? I'm a Peck! I don't give a damn about other people as long as I get my way! There are expectations of us, Steven. With that comes _sacrifice_! What's sacrificing a little fling – an INDISCRETION - as long as you end up on top? If you can't handle it, then you don't DESERVE to be in this family!"

Steve felt his own tears running down his face. He couldn't see the others but he felt them behind him and could hear their labored breaths. They were watching someone they love absolutely shatter in front of their eyes and they didn't know how to stop it.

All Steve could think to say was "Those aren't your words, little sister. It doesn't have to be this way."

Gail bit her bottom lip trying to hold back a sob. She shook her head back and forth. In a quiet quivering voice she said, "I ruined it. I pushed her away and I won't be able to get her back."

Steve stared passed his sister into the open parking lot. "Gail, that's not true. You didn't lose her."

"You don't know what I said. You don't know how…it's not a fling. Steve, it's not a fling."

He took a step closer; this time his sister didn't back away. He gently responded, "Gail, I know."

Gail sucked in a sob. She was desperately grasping onto her last ounce of control. She crossed her arms around her stomach and bent forward weeping. She whispered to no one and everyone. "I love her. I love her _so much_."

Gail started to fall backward but was stopped by a warm body enveloping her from behind. Arms she knew like her own wrapped themselves around her waist holding her closer than she ever could remember. Holly's chin rested on her rounded shoulders and words meant only for her were spoken softly into her ear.

"Gail, I know."

The three words were all it took to break the dam. Gail's legs finally gave and she crumbled to the ground sobbing as she cried over and over how sorry she was. Holly held her silently on the snowy surface, never letting her go.


	16. Chapter 13

The bright sunlight shining as Gail slit her left eye open only amplified the splitting headache that was acting like a jackhammer to her brain. She immediately clutched her forehead with her hand - making sure to block her eyes from the offending light - as she moaned incoherently.

She knew she wasn't in her bed, and she wasn't in Holly's. She was partially sitting up supported by pillows and a pile of blankets had been thrown over her. She cautiously used her left hand to feel around her slowly – afraid any sudden movement would cause her head to fall off her neck and tumble onto the floor. When her hand hit the soft leather of the back cushion, she knew where she was – she was lying on Holly's sofa.

How she got there though took a minute or two to recall and when images of her mother; yelling at her friends and brother; snow; alcohol…so, so much alcohol; and Holly came rushing back, her head started pounding even worse than it had before. She pressed her hand further onto her skull trying to relieve some of the pressure and moaned again. Her thoughts kept swirling back to Holly – first yelling at her to leave at the station and then a feeling like she had somehow ended up in her arms crying uncontrollably in the snow. She really hoped the last part wasn't a figment of her alcohol-induced imagination. Not because she wanted to lose it in front of her, but because it meant Holly was there. If she were there, then maybe Gail could get her back and she wanted that most of all. She considered the fact that she was on Holly's sofa as a sign that maybe that was a possibility, but didn't rule out that it may also just be a way for the brunette to let her sleep it off so that Holly could kill her while sober inflicting more damage.

Her body started screaming out that it wanted to move even though her brain was telling her it was a horrible idea. She was never very good at listening to her brain, so she started to shift her leg from under the blankets only to have the room start spinning – alternating directions ever few circles. She fell back the few centimeters she had managed to lift her head and groaned.

"Come on, Gail, sit up and drink this."

Gail certainly knew the voice but she still felt the need to open her eyes to confirm it was, in fact, Holly that just sat down next to her hip on the sofa. The slight sink of the cushion and her eyes opening were enough of a combination to have her taste whatever was left in her stomach in the back of her throat. She didn't care; she was looking at who she hoped was still her girlfriend and who didn't altogether appear to want to murder her. Despite the spinning of the room, she immediately felt that light of inner peace that came every time she looked into those brown eyes.

"I don't think I can drink…"

"It wasn't a request. You are dehydrated and it's either this or I stick you with a line – which you know I will do. I came very close to doing it at three this morning." As she spoke, Holly slid a hand under Gail's shoulder and forced her to sit up a little more.

It took effort, but Gail silently complied and even managed to somehow keep down the few sips of water from the glass Holly held out in front of her. Based on Holly's stern but compassionate tone and the memories still flooding her brain of the day before, she fully accepted the fact that she was going to do anything the brunette told her for the rest of the day – maybe the rest of her life.

"I'm sorry," was all Gail could think to say. They both knew it was an apology not just for questioning Holly's command.

Holly took the glass and placed in on the table before turning back to the blonde and began rubbing her hand on Gail's thigh up and down. Her response, "You scared me," was also wrapped in multiple layers.

For some reason, in Gail's hazy brain, in that moment it dawned on her it was daylight. That anxious feeling of forgetting something hit her. "Hol, what time is it? I was supposed…I think…"

"Calm down; Andy took your shift. She said she owed you, but based on what Steve told me you said to her last night, you may owe her now. It's noon, by the way."

Gail closed her eyes, putting her head back in her hands, and mumbled "Oh, god...I'm sorry." She then looked up. "Hey, why aren't you at work?"

Holly smiled at the question. Gail was coming around, but she clearly didn't have quite the self-awareness yet to realize all that happened in the last twenty-four hours. A part of her wanted to be angry at how close Gail had come to drinking herself into oblivion with little consideration for those that loved her, but she couldn't do it. She loved the blonde too much and the reason for the breakdown was compelling enough to give Gail a pass. Not a complete pass though – she knew Gail had to take some responsibility for yesterday so it never happened again.

"Well, I drew the short straw in making sure you didn't die of alcohol poisoning last night, so here we are. I do need to go in for a few hours but it can wait a little while."

Gail bent her knees up to her chest and buried her face. "I'm sorry."

"If you're sorry now, wait until you see the bedroom. Those sheets you love so much don't look too good with Jack Daniels spewed all over them. I saved you the cleanup."

Another moan came from the buried head. "I'm so _so_ sorry."

Holly sighed. She let Gail sit in silence for a moment as she considered the best way to proceed. They were both physically and emotionally exhausted. Mostly she just wanted to curl up next to her girlfriend on the sofa and sleep for the rest of the day, but ultimately that wouldn't be the best idea for either of them. She really did need to get to work at some point to file a report and she knew if she let her, Gail would spend the rest of the day wallowing in regret.

By the time she had arrived at The Penny last night, Gail was already outside yelling at anyone that came near her. Traci was pouring a bottle of alcohol onto the ground and the first thing Holly had heard as she began to walk forward was Gail announcing that she no longer had a mother. It was enough to stop her in her tracks. She was only about ten feet behind Gail, but the blonde didn't notice as she continued with her rant. Steve noticed – at one point he had looked beyond his sister straight at Holly and unspoken words passed between them. He was asking her to help is sister – to save her from herself.

Holly didn't need to be asked. She had every intention of doing it. With each word screamed from Gail, her heart shattered a little more at seeing the woman she loved in such despair. At some point, Gail switched gears from anger to anguish brought on by a deep, painful conviction that she had somehow lost Holly for good. Holly had already stepped within a few feet of Gail to tell her she was there and didn't lose her when she heard her girlfriend quietly say how much she loved her. Emotions washed over Holly like a tidal wave, but her body immediately had a single focus of wrapping itself around Gail and protecting her from the world. As they had fallen to the ground together, everything else around them went quiet and all Holly could hear was the sobbing breaths of the woman she was holding so tightly.

It didn't take long for Gail to begin slipping in and out of darkness. Steve gently crouched down next to them and recommended they get Gail out of the snow. There was some debate as to whether they should take Gail to the hospital, but Holly reminded them she had a medical degree and it was probably best if Gail woke up somewhere familiar. With Chris' help the three of them managed to get the blonde in the back of Holly's car and Steve drove them to her apartment with Traci following leaving everyone else to go home.

It had been a long night; not twenty minutes after Traci and Steve left did Gail begin vomiting in her sleep. After somehow getting her changed and into the living room she didn't have the energy to clean and just closed the door before settling in on her living room chair for hours of watching Gail's abdomen rise and fall with each breath. At some point Holly called her mother. After hearing what Gail's had done, she needed to hear that warm, kind voice of her mom telling her everything was going to be okay. It was because of that conversation, Holly felt ready to have this one.

"Gail, look at me. Gail…" Holly dragged her fingers through the blonde's hair stopping when she reached the gape of her neck. Gail lifted her head but didn't make direct eye contact.

Holly softly said her name again and this time Gail allowed their eyes to meet. She could see the fear and sadness pooling in the sea of gray-blue. Holly had rehearsed this speech around seven that morning and again at nine. She hoped she could get through it.

"Gail, no more apologies; at least not to me…your brother and friends probably could use one, but we're good. I'm not mad at you. Even when you were telling me to get out yesterday, I wasn't mad. I was hurt, but not angry. You needed me and instead of letting me help you, you pushed me away. You can't do that anymore. We're in this together and you have to let me help you."

"I was afraid." Gail's said weakly.

Holly tucked a strand of hair behind Gail's ear and let her hand rest on Gail's shoulder. "I know. What your mother did. It was…It was horrible and cruel and I know it must have crushed you, but the way you handled it. Gail, that can't happen again. I can't sit by and watch you destroy yourself."

Gail just shook her head in affirmation. Holly continued, "I'm not going away. I know you've managed to push people in the past and they didn't fight to stay, but that's not me. I'm in this but I can't do it alone. I will let you in and I will support you, but you need to do the same for me."

Gail dropped her gaze as tears began to fall down her cheeks. She shook her head slightly. "I don't deserve you."

Holly used a bent finger to push Gail's chin up so they were again eye-to-eye. "You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. Do you think you don't give me those things too? Do you think the grin that spreads across my face every time you walk in the room is for show? Gail, you are everything I want and deserve. _Everything_."

"I told you I loved you last night. I remember that."

Holly gave a half-smile at the memory. "Actually you told Steve you loved me."

Gail squinted her eyes a little trying to playback the moment. "Oh."

They stared at each other in silence. It took a second for Gail to realize Holly wasn't going to continue and was shifting the weight of their conversation back to Gail.

"I meant it."

"Meant what, Gail?"

The blonde smiled. Holly was going to make her say it. She took a deep breath and realized she wasn't nervous. Holly deserved to hear it and she really did mean it.

"Holly, I love you. I love you and I am thankful you are in my life. I want to be the person that supports you and you need."

Holly closed her eyes and allowed herself to feel the moment. When she opened them she saw Gail was searching her face waiting for some kind of response. She tilted her head and took Gail's hand in her own.

"Gail, I love you. I have never in my life fallen as quickly or as hard in love with someone as I have with you. It scares me how much I love you. If you remember that, then I promise you everything else we can figure out. Trust me."

"I trust you." Gail straightened her knees so Holly could lean in closer and they kissed each other tenderly. Holly finally broke the kiss.

"Gail, there are a few things you need to do today."

Holly tone had changed back to the earlier 'don't argue with me' one. Gail just nodded waiting for her instructions.

"First, you need to call your therapist. I don't care if you two just talk over the phone or you go there, but…"

"I will. I promise." Gail looked around the room and down at her clothes. She was wearing sweatpants and a big, worn hooded sweatshirt that was Holly's. "I have no idea where my phone is. I think…"

"It's on the nightstand charger in the bedroom. Traci left it for you. You can get it when you clean up the bed, which happens to by number two on the list."

"Fair." Gail had no idea how she was going to stomach cleaning up that room but she also knew it was her responsibility and she'd just have to deal with it.

"Third…"

"May I ask how many things are on this list?"

"No."

"Ok."

Third, if you end up going to the doctor's then I will drive you. You are not driving today…I'm pretty sure you may still be legally drunk. Fourth, you will either call your brother and friends to apologize for scaring them half-to-death or you will gather them at the location of your choice to do it. I suggest in person. I made cookies; you can hand them out."

Gail laughed, "I'm sorry, you what? When did you make cookies?"

"Do you know how long you've been passed out? I also watched an entire season of '_Doctor Who'_ and finished editing three journal entries."

Gail looked passed Holly and noticed the blanket, laptop and coffee mug on the chair. She went to open her mouth to apologize, but was met with finger pressing her lips together instead.

"I told you no more apologies. Don't worry, I'll find a way for you to thank me later." Holly's wicked grin was a sight for sore eyes and made Gail forget momentarily how sorry she was for putting her girlfriend through a night of hell.

"Hmm…what number was I on? It doesn't matter. I only have one more request for the day. Gail Peck, for all that is good and holy in this world, will you please go brush your teeth - repeatedly. Throw the toothbrush away when you're done. I am going to have to brush mine again from just kissing you."

The two women began laughing. Gail tried to grab Holly to kiss her again but Holly jumped off the sofa too quickly. She contemplating following but knew she would probably end up on the floor. The laughter was hurting her head, but she didn't care. Her demons had done their best to cripple her but somehow she made it out on the other side. She didn't do it alone and it wasn't at all pretty, but she had made it home – home with Holly and that was all that mattered.

**A/N: Thank you all for the kind reviews. They are the best cookies anyone could give me.**


	17. Chapter 14

Gail stood in the hallway drumming her fingers on her thigh. She needed to walk through that door and do this; it wasn't a matter of choice. Now all she had to do was work up the courage.

Her day had been broken into sections – each involving a completion of a task Holly had handed her. After convincing herself that she could get off the sofa without her head splitting open from her hangover, she proceeded to clean Holly's room meticulously – far more than she had ever considered cleaning her own. It was the least she could do to thank her girlfriend for being there for her. She was pretty proud of herself for only getting sick twice during the chore.

She then showered and allowed Holly to drive her to her therapist where she spent the next two hours. Holly offered to wait, but Gail shooed he off to work after agreeing to meet up later that evening with her friends and brother at The Penny. She was thankful for the support but needed to take responsibility for steering and owning her decisions.

And that is what brought her to the hallway standing in front of her mother's office. She looked down at what she was wearing and laughed to herself. With everything her mother had said the day before, she knew without a doubt her first comment would be about Gail walking into headquarters in jeans, old boots, and a hooded sweatshirt. The sweatshirt was the one Holly had thrown on her at some point last night. It was so not something she would normally wear, but she found having that faint smell of lavender and vanilla that she associated with her girlfriend was enough to make her put it back on after showering – plus it was ridiculously comfortable.

She took a deep breath and pushed the door open. She had spent the last hour talking this over with her doctor – she needed to do this and she was ready. She walked straight to her mother's office, not paying attention to the assistant that tried to stop her and pushed the door open. Elaine was on the phone laughing in a way Gail knew to be fake and looked up at the intrusion but barely acknowledged her daughter. Gail shut the door behind her and just stood quietly in front of the desk waiting. She would wait there all night if she had to – she didn't care; this was getting finished one way or another.

Ten minutes later, Elaine finally hung up. She had spent the time on the phone evaluating her daughter. Gail stood the whole time, never moving a muscle with a steeled and confident look. She knew that look well – not from Gail, but from her husband in the early years of their marriage before it was replaced with one of exhaustion. It was a unique mix of determination, control and power that made The Peck's so devastatingly good at being in law enforcement. Elaine didn't have it – she married into the family and it was some kind of inherited gene. She had to work every day to draw the kind of respect that seemed to come naturally to her husband and son.

She always believed it had eluded Gail as well which is why she spent so much time trying to guide her. But the woman standing across from her desk wasn't the Gail that cowered at her mother's voice. No, this Gail possessed that 'Peck inner strength' in spades and is seemed she had finally figured out how to harness it. If it hadn't occurred to her that Gail was about to unleash on her, Elaine would have downright proud of her daughter. A part of her still was, but she couldn't let it show.

"Gail, you've been out of school for years. That look isn't appropriate for this office."

Gail quirked her lip up in a half-smile, "It's what my girlfriend handed me when I got out of the shower. Who am I to argue?"

It was really all Gail needed to say. No matter how practiced Elaine was in schooling her features, she couldn't control the slight tick of her eye when the realization hit her she was actually about to lose a battle with her daughter. Gail immediately caught it and used it to her advantage. She clasped her hands together behind her back as she straightened it perfecting her posture.

"I didn't come here to discuss my fashion choices. In fact, I'm not here to 'discuss' anything. What you did yesterday…what you said…you and I are very clear as to where we stand."

"I had to spend half the day convincing Andrew you and I hadn't cooked up some charade to get his son to date you. This is what happens when your lies threaten your career, Gail. I have to pick up the pieces."

"You will always pick career over family, won't you? It will never change.

Elaine stood and looked Gail in the eye. "How dare you…"

"Stop. I don't want to hear it. I told you I wasn't here to discuss this and I meant it. If it makes you sleep better at night believing this is about me not telling you, or this is about your boss…whatever. You know, I truly am sorry you found out about Holly through someone else. I should have told you. I am not, however, sorry for falling in love.

Here's how I see it. You told me I didn't deserve to be in this family if my career didn't come first and you threatened to disown me if I didn't stop being gay. Neither of which are things I can nor want to change. I am your daughter…your DAUGHTER and I should come first with you – I should matter. If you don't understand what that means then this isn't a family I want to be part of."

Elaine was stunned silent. This was not how she had expected this to go. Getting yelled at by Steve this morning was something she was prepared for and could deal with. Even her husband's silence was something she could accept…she had for years...but Gail confronting her wasn't something she even considered. Elaine thought for sure giving her daughter an ultimatum would have been enough for Gail to fall in line getting back to her career and forget about silly relationships that could get in the way. For the first time, she had underestimated her daughter and she had a feeling she was going to pay for it. Too stubborn to believe she was wrong in the first place, she just stood there without saying a word. She couldn't back down without looking weak and she firmly believed Peck's never should show weakness.

Gail challenged her mother's stare. She was internally screaming for her mother to relent. As much as she hated her in this moment, it was still her mother and a part of her wanted to find some way to work it out – for her mother to just say she was sorry and that she had made a mistake. It wasn't going to be that way and they both recognized it. Gail turned to walk out. When she reached the door, she gave her mother one last chance, a chance she didn't deserve but would be granted anyway.

"If you're ever ready to accept me for who I am and not who you want me to be, you know where to find me. Good bye, Elaine."

_An Hour Later_

Holly pulled into the parking lot of The Penny. She could not believe she actually managed to make it out of the morgue in time. As soon as she walked in the had been bombarded with fifty different cases and things to finish. She really should have just hunkered down and spent the night catching up, but this was important. This was about Gail getting closure from yesterday's adventure in hell and she wanted to be there in support.

As she absentmindedly closed the door of her car, someone came up from behind her and pressed something into her back. She stopped dead in her tracks and lost all the air out of her lungs.

"Drop the cookies and no one get hurts." Gail snaked her arms around the brunette's waist as she said it mirroring the hugging position Holly had held her the night before.

Holly could help but laugh, "You will pay for that, Officer Peck." She then twisted around and leaned against the car with Gail's arms still wrapped around her.

Gail released a hand and held up the object she was using as the fake gun between them. "I bought you a present, Nerd."

"You bought me a toothbrush?"

"You don't like my gift? I spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect one."

The mock sadness radiating from Gail only made Holly's grin wider. She loved bantering with this woman. She squinted at the brush under the plastic and chuckled. "Gail, it's a kid's toothbrush with baseball bats and gloves on it!"

"It's symbolic. It represents things I've done, even when I was petrified of failing, that didn't kill me but only made me stronger."

Holly grabbed the toothbrush and gave her girlfriend a quick kiss. "That was very very sweet. You bought this because you thought you were being funny and totally made the rest up on the fly to win this round, but I'll take it anyway."

Gail grabbed Holly's hand and started walking toward the entrance. "I still meant it. If you ever repeat what I said though…"

"Yeah, yeah…I have to ask; I know it's cold out here but you only had to walk a few blocks from the doctor's. Why do you look like an ice cube?" Holly opened the door for them to walk in.

"Jeez, does anything get passed you?" Gail spotted her friends at the back table and began leading them in that direction.

"Uh…kinda my job to be observant there, Cop."

"I wasn't walking from my shrink. I was across town."

Holly stopped in the middle of the bar and pulled on Gail's hand to stop her as well. "You didn't go to your…"

"Hol, yes, I did. I've done everything on your list so far, I promise. I just added one of my own." Gail rubbed her thumb on the back of Holly's hand. "It's ok. Really. I'm not hiding anything; I just don't want to discuss it here."

Holly gave her girlfriend a soft smile. "I'm sorry I questioned you."

"Eh, it's 'no apologies Tuesday' remember! Come on, let's go face the force."

Steve sat at the table with Traci, Andy, Dov and Chris nursing his beer and watched his sister and Holly across the room. He smiled behind the neck of the bottle as he observed how composed his sister seemed – so vastly different from the night before. Gail had a certain air of confidence and a smile only meant for the woman whose hand she was holding. She wasn't showing off her relationship in any way, but she certainly wasn't hiding it either. At some point between her falling passed out drunk in Holly's bed last night and walking into the bar, his sister had found peace. Steve knew exactly who he had to thank for that turnaround.

The two women made it over to the table and greeted everyone. Gail had even hugged those closest to her at the table which made Steve momentarily think his sister had been replaced by an alien, but changed his mind when she walked over and did the same to him. She held him a little longer and tighter and it reminded him of when she would jump into his arms when she was a little – before pressure and duty were instilled in them and she was just free and adored him with the unabashed wonder of an eight year old girl with an older brother. He kissed her forehead and they shared a smile before everyone sat back down.

"I cannot believe you picked The Penny, of all places, to meet up tonight. I would have thought you would have steered clear of this place for a while."

"Come on, Dov. Haven't you ever heard about returning to the scene of the crime?" Gail smiled at her roommate and took the box sitting on Holly's lap and pushed it onto the table. "Here everyone I brought cookies!"

Everyone turned their heads back and forth to each other questioning the scene. Andy finally spoke up. "You baked cookies?"

Chris scrunched his face in mock horror. "There are cheese puffs in them, aren't there? Oh, goodness…"

"Relax, people. Holly made them." Gail just shook her head when everyone immediately dove into the box and grabbed a cookie.

Still chewing, Dov looked over to Holly, "Man, these are awesome."

Holly nodded her head in thanks to Dov. "Baking is just science. Science is my thing."

"You know if you ever want to 'switch teams' again, give me a call. Just promise me you won't get married first. That hasn't been working well for me lately."

Gail smacked Dov's chest with the back of her hand. "Back off, Epstein, you can't have her. What is it with you and your fascination with 'switching teams' anyway?"

Dov just shrugged his shoulders.

Traci chimed in, "So, Holly was the one carrying the box of cookies and she baked them. Gail, how exactly are you the one that brought them?"

Gail dropped her eyes a bit and played with the napkin in front of her. "They were on my list."

Of course only Holly got the reference and shook her head laughing when she realized Gail felt that was enough of an explanation. She leaned in closer to her girlfriend. "I believe that was only half of that particular bullet point. I'm going to go get us some drinks. When was the last time you ate?"

Gail looked up in the air thinking, "Uh…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll order some food too." Holly stood and placed her hand on Gail's shoulder and looked to the table. "Anyone want anything? Gail is picking up the tab tonight."

The blonde went to drop her jaw when everyone started calling out orders, but instead reached in her coat and pulled out her credit card instead. She could help but smile when Holly leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "I told you I would pay you back, Officer Peck. Now finish your list."

Gail took a second to watch Holly stroll over to the bar before turning back to the table. She went to speak but Chris interrupted her.

"She's an amazing woman, Gail. She wouldn't happen to have a sister would she?"

"Sorry, Diaz, only child. She does have a cousin she's close with though. He's good looking, an attorney...just sayin'… it worked for me and you haven't broken out those white jeans in some time."

"He keeps them in his closet. I saw them!" Dov had a cheesy big grin on his face.

Andy tilted her head and pointed at Dov, "Why you were in Chris' closet is the real question here."

When the laughter died down, Gail spoke up again. "Guys, I'm really sorry for yesterday. I said some things…."

"Gail, you've said worse."

"Don't make light of it, Chris. I pushed you all away when you were trying to help me and I know I scared you when I disappeared. It's not an excuse but I wasn't in the best of places."

Traci reached out and took Gail's hand. "We're family, Gail; all of us. We help each other - it's what we do. Just let us next time, okay?"

Gail nodded quietly and then turned to Andy. "Hey, thanks for taking my shift today. I owe you."

"Nah, I owed you remember. We can call it even."

Holly returned with a tray of drinks and Steve jumped up to help her. Holly set a bottle of water in front to of Gail who began drinking it without question before responding to Andy.

"No, seriously, I still owe you one. I'll take a holiday or something. Doubtful I'll be getting an invitation to the 'Peck Family Christmas Dinner this year. I'll have time.'" Her words were light and jovial, but everyone knew the meaning behind them.

Holly suddenly turned her head to her girlfriend when a realization hit her. "That errand you added to the list…_Gail_."

Gail did something she had never done in front of her friends and certainly not in the middle of The Penny. She stopped Holly from speaking in her favorite way and leaned in and kissed her softly. As she pulled back she mouthed _'later, okay?' _Holly just nodded in agreement.

A few hours later Chris and Dov were busy telling stories about their first-year as rookies. They were using Holly as the reason to relive the tales, but mostly they were just enjoying being nostalgic. Traci had left to get Leo and Sam had stopped by to pick up Andy and the night was winding down. Steve caught Gail's attention and motioned for her to come talk with him alone. They excused themselves and took seats at the far end of the bar away from every one.

The bartender walked up to them and Steve ordered a root beer. He was driving and already had two beers. When the bartender looked to Gail for her order she immediately replied, "Tequila. Straight up."

She quickly grinned at Steve as he lightly smacked her shoulder. "Too soon for that joke?"

Steve didn't have to answer; his face did the talking. Gail stopped the bartender and asked for a root beer as well.

"You saw our mother today didn't' you? The errand Holly was talking about."

"You really are a good detective, brother, you know that?"

"I do. I'm guessing it went as expected." Steve had stopped by their parent's house early that morning and yelled at them both. He yelled at his mother for what she said and his father for all the things he didn't. He was hoping it would be enough to shake his mother out of whatever stubborn fit of cruelty she had found herself in, but he knew better.

"There were no arguments, if that's what you are asking. I didn't give her a chance. I just said my peace and got out."

"She deserved screaming and a few punches thrown."

"Yeah, but what would that solve? I probably would have just ended up at another bar getting wasted. It's over, Steve. She's out of my life for now…maybe for good."

"What about Dad?"

"What about him? He's been silent. I don't know where he stands, but unless he reaches out to me, I just can't…I can't deal with it."

"You have me, little sister. You'll always have me."

Gail put her arm around Steve's shoulder and gave him a side hug. "Then I have the best of the Peck's."

"Speaking of…" Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out a black patch. "I believe this belongs to you. Traci and Andy found it on the floor in the locker room."

Gail fingered the stitching on the patch. Her family name had taken such a different meaning to her in the last twenty-four hours. She didn't know how she was going to wear it again.

As if Steve knew what she was thinking, he put his hand over hers and said, "This name, 'Peck', it's just a name. We have let it define us for so long; let it make our decisions for us thinking we had to live up to some legacy. Gail, we are so much more than that. You and me, little sister; it's time we build our own families and write our own futures. Don't put that badge on tomorrow because you're the daughter of Elaine Peck. Put it on because you're a great cop, a great but sometimes annoying sister, and because that woman over there that keeps stealing glances in this direction loves you more than even I could have hoped would love you. Be that Gail Peck."

Gail kissed her brother on the cheek. "I love you, Steven."

"Don't call me that, Abigail."

"You called me annoying!"

"I said some nice stuff too!"

"Whatever."

"I love you too, you know."

The two siblings clinked their bottles together and hopped off the stools to return to the tables. Another day was ending and a new one was soon to begin.

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the amazing feedback. It is greatly appreciated. **


	18. Chapter 15

Holly grabbed for the sheet and twisted it hard as her back arched up and her body began to shake. The screaming of her girlfriend's name over and over intermixed with the names of whatever deity she could think of easily must have woken her neighbors, but she didn't give a damn.

Gail had woken her by teasing her tongue in the brunette's belly button and hadn't stopped her morning ministrations for god-knows how long. Holly's body was on fire and her mind was in overdrive watching the still-clothed Gail reach her hand up from its previous spot on Holly's thigh and snake its way up her stomach and around her body until it grabbed the hand on the sheets. Their fingers entwined as Holly rode out the end of a glorious orgasm.

Her breathing still staccato she proclaimed, "My god…that is the best way ever to wake up."

Gail smiled into Holly's thigh, but didn't comment, as she began to kiss and tease her way up her leg. When she reached that little spot on the back of Holly's left knee that she had found a few months ago that, for some unknown reason, made her girlfriend hit the ceiling she stopped and circled around it with the tip of her tongue. Gail watched the goose bumps rise like a wave over Holly's body as she lay on the bed squirming in anticipation. Their eyes locked and she read the simple message Holly's conveyed – 'please'.

"What do you want, Nerd?" Gail whispered into Holly's knee and licked around the spot again.

After six-months together, Holly knew her girlfriend wouldn't make her wait too long; but she also knew Gail would tease her enough to confirm she won that particular round of the never-ending battle of wills between them that they loved so much. She had to play this smart or Gail would have her downright begging in minutes.

"You. All I ever want is you."

Never taking her eyes off the beautiful brunette beneath her, Gail smiled satisfied with the answer and then began to suck giving her girlfriend that final release she had wanted. It only fueled her own desire more watching Holly come completely undone for the third time in the matter of minutes. As Holly's breathing began to even out, Gail gently laid her leg back down and crawled back up her girlfriend's body to kiss her.

Gail finally broke the kiss, "Good morning."

"Hmmm, good morning; that was amazing." Holly dragged her fingers into Gail's hair and pulled her back to kiss her again as she began to roll them so she was on top. Before she could, Gail got up off the bed.

"Uh…where are going?"

"Shower…going to be late for work." Gail opened the closet and started looking around trying to find her grey top. They had officially been living together for three weeks and she still couldn't remember where she originally thrown half her clothes. One would think that after months of only using Casa Peckstein-Diaz for laundry and pay rent, Gail would have known where all her stuff was in the closet but she didn't. She couldn't let Holly see her looking around too much though – it was another 'battle' between them – so she just grabbed the first one she thought was hers instead.

Holly was still lying on the bed naked looking rather confused. "Uh…you're getting in the shower? I had plans for you. Long, drawn out, make-your-head-spin plans…"

"Don't worry…you can have your way with me all night if you want. Actually I insist, but we gotta get to work or we'll be late."

"Gail, get undressed and get in this bed now!"

Gail started laughing. It was very tempting, but she really did have to get to work. She had actually woken up before the alarm and had just planned on giving Holly a kiss in her sleep and then head to the gym, but the brunette's stomach was peeking out from the side of the sheet and one thing led to another and now she was close to running late.

"I'm sorry, are you demanding that you be allowed to reciprocate?"

Gail was standing there with an evil grin on her face waiting for Holly's response. Holly stopped for a second to think this through. This was totally about to become the thing Gail joked about for weeks if she wasn't careful.

"Aren't you interested in reciprocation? Have we reached that stage in our relationship?" Holly tried to look appropriately upset, but was still in too much of a post-orgasmic haze to really pull it off.

Gail sauntered back over to the bed bending down to kiss Holly long and hard. "We, my nerd, will never reach that stage in our relationship. You know, sometimes giving is as good as receiving."

"Hmm…I want to give."

"Oh, you will repeatedly…just later."

Gail took a step back before turning and disappearing into the bathroom. Holly heard the water running and dropped her head back onto the pillow. After six months, Gail could still wind her up like a toy for whatever game she wanted to play. It was simultaneously maddening and ridiculously sexy. God, she loved that woman and she really wanted to show her. Right now! She looked over at the clock and took note of the time. They always drove in together and Gail would typically walk from the morgue's parking lot. If Holly dropped her off instead it would buy an extra fifteen minutes. She jumped out of bed as she formulated a plan for every millisecond of that time.

Gail let the hot water beat down on her as she closed her eyes and tried to shift her focus to the rest of the day. It took more self-control than she thought she had to walk out of their bedroom. She may have told Holly giving was good as receiving, but who was she kidding? She really liked to receive and it was going to keep her on edge all day. As she took a deep cleansing breath she felt cool air hit her as the shower curtain opened. She didn't open her eyes but instead just let her other senses heighten and take in the feel of Holly standing behind her as she wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled Gail as close to her as possible.

Gail moaned, "No time…"

Holly began teasing one of Gail's breasts with one hand as she used the other to lift her leg onto the side ledge giving her more access to where she wanted to go. "A little time… a little reciprocation." Holly whispered into Gail's ear as the blonde's head leaned back and rested near Holly's.

Gail just moaned, "We don't understand_ 'a little'_..."

Forty-five minutes later they were jumping in the car. It wasn't horribly late but enough to have to fight the heavier traffic so they both felt the rush. Holly didn't have a set time to go in, but she knew Gail did and how vigilant the blonde was to never being late. She looked over to the passenger seat and caught Gail nervously tapping her foot and she braided her still mostly wet hair as neatly as she could.

"You're not going to be late. I promise."

"I know. I'm not worried."

"Says the woman making the car shake with her foot…"

"I'm dancing to the music."

Holly chuckled, "You want me to turn the radio on for that or is the song in your head enough?"

Gail tied off the end of her hair and grabbed the bottle of water that sat between them taking a long drink. She really wished it were coffee instead, but between the choices of a fresh brewed cup or morning sex she knew which she would choose any day. The water would have to do. Before she could dwell on it much longer, her phone began to vibrate. She looked down and read the text from Chris and sighed.

"Ugh…today is gonna to suck."

Holly racked her brain trying to remember what today was and couldn't. They shared everything, so it must be something new. "What's going on?"

"Diaz is at the station. Frank already posted assignments and Chris, Dov and Chloe and I have to patrol that stupid hate speech."

Holly hit the brakes a little harder than she should at the light. Both women jerked forward.

"Hol, the road."

"Sorry. Wait a minute. What? You have to protect those disgusting, homophobic nutjobs today?" Now Holly was tapping her foot but in anger not anxiety.

"Some idiot gave them the permit to speak. We have to make sure it doesn't turn into a riot."

"Why would Frank assign you! I don't get it. There are a lot of…"

"He didn't intentionally assign me. He pulled the names out of a hat. He does that sometimes for the jobs no one wants…thinks it's fair."

"Sounds more like chicken to me."

"Hol, please don't. He's a good boss. I don't know what these douchbags think they accomplish by ranting for three hours in a park about fire and brimstone and all of us going to hell anyway. It's a waste of time."

Holly shook her head, "They get a few more followers each time. It's repulsive. There's going to be a lot of protesters there to stand up against them. RJ and I were thinking of going at lunch."

Gail snapped her head toward Holly. "No you're not."

"Excuse me? I'm not?" Holly pulled the car into the 15th's parking lot before turning her glare onto Gail.

Gail knew that look – that look didn't get her reciprocation for a week. Maybe a little backtracking was required. "What I meant was…"

"Oh, I know what you meant. Gail, this is important. People like that should not get away with the hateful things they say about us." Holly was getting visibly heated now.

"Holly, I know that, but like you said there are going to be a lot of people there…people very passionate about two very different sides of an issue."

"This isn't an 'issue.' This is our life. They hate us for existing. You don't understand….I've dealt with this longer…"

Gail's face twisted perplexed and more than a little angry, "I don't understand! When did you corner the market on discrimination exactly? I may not have come out in college like you, but last I checked your parents were speaking to you. Do you recall us going to my parent's house for the holidays? Hmm…no! Gee could it be because they haven't spoken to me in six months! How about the way some people look at us when we hold hands walking down the street…I see their looks, Holly. I'm not immune. Do you think every cop in the precinct is as accepting as my friends? Do you know…"

Holly grabbed Gail's hand. "I'm sorry. That was stupid and I didn't mean it. Gail, I don't want to fight about this. "

Gail sighed regaining her composure. She then pulled Holly's hand up to her lips and kissed it. "I'm sorry too. Hol, I'm not _telling_ you but I am _asking_ you…please don't go today. I know why you want to and I do understand why, but if things turn violent I won't be able to do my job. I'll just be looking for you."

Holly nodded in acceptance. "I hate that you have to be there. Maybe you can switch with someone."

"It's my job. Serve and protect; the 'even the douchbags' part was too long for the badge but it's there under the logo. Besides, I'll be protecting the protesters too. There are no winners or losers if chaos breaks out."

Holly leaned in and gave her girlfriend a kiss good-bye. They still rarely showed affection this close to the station, but Holly decided to make an exception, "Be careful. I love you. Flip that hate group off a few times from inside your pocket for me while you're there."

Gail smiled and caressed the Holly's cheek lingering for just an extra second. "Done. I love you too. Now go get your geek on."

Gail jumped out of the car and headed to the station as Holly hung back to watch her enter - both with the feeling like it was going to be a long day.


	19. Chapter 16

Gail took her sunglasses out of her pocket and slid them on. It was a beautiful spring day – unseasonably warm for early April – and the bright sun was preventing her from properly surveying her designated section. She looked down at her watch briefly as she paced back and forth noting anything potentially suspicious that may require further investigation. Two hours of pacing, observing and giving updates to her fellow team and it was all getting very irritating. It could have been because there were more people at the rally than they had expected making them undermanned or the fact that she hadn't thought to wear sunscreen and was already feeling her nose get burned; but mostly it was because she had spent the last two hours having to listen to some pseudo-religious group scream over a loudspeaker how 'the gays were destroying the moral fabric of society and were all damned to an eternity in hell.'

She tried to tune them out and concentrate on her job, but it wasn't easy with their words blaring so loudly across the park falling over her like rain. The signs in the audience were making it even worse and she was having a very difficult time not kicking the parents who put hate-filled posters in the hands of their children who clearly didn't know better. Not all of the posters and speeches were anti-gay – oh no, this was an equal opportunity hate group wrapped up in the notion that their warped ideal of religion would save them from some kind of rapture. It was giving Gail a pounding headache and the next hour could not be over fast enough.

A few minutes later, Chris walked over and handed her a bottle of water. She thanked him and took a drink, never taking her eyes off the crowd. Gail watched the LGBT supporters and imagined herself standing with them. She didn't really think of herself as an advocate for the gay community – or any community for that matter. She just wasn't a 'lead the parade' type of person. Holly was more vocal about these things and would occasionally get into long, passionate discussions with RJ or other friends about combating discrimination or ensuring equal opportunity. Gail would listen, but mostly kept quiet. She supported their ideas, but couldn't imagine herself chanting in opposition to one of these hate rallies like Holly had wanted to. Maybe Holly was right and she was too new at all of this and would one day find herself linking arms with these people. Mostly though she just wanted to come home every night to the woman she loved and let that speak for itself. Their neighbor across the hall, Mrs. Hafflin, had gone from giving them disgusted looks to making them cookies and asking when they were going to get married. It wasn't going to change the world but Gail felt, for now, that was her way of making a difference. Still, she couldn't help internally cheering a little seeing more LGBT supporters protesting than actually attendees of the rally.

"Can you believe this? There are hundreds of people here. This field isn't big enough." Chris commented as he stood close to Gail drinking his own water and looking out over the crowd.

"Well Diaz, it's a beautiful day for a hate speech."

"I'm sorry you got your name pulled. Frank shouldn't have put it in."

Gail squinted a little behind her glasses. "Frank can't play that game – it isn't fair. He would have to pull Dov's name every time there was an anti-elf rally; Chloe's when the pretty pretty princesses went on strike…it would all get very complicated. Besides, I don't want special treatment because of who I live with. Andy offered to switch with me, but I couldn't give up this sun and fun"

"Yeah, well this stuff is making me angry. I can't imagine how you feel."

"I quit listening ten minutes in," Gail deflected. She wasn't in the mood to discuss her feelings towards this. Arguing with Holly this morning about it was enough. She decided to change the subject, "How's Chloe doing?"

They both looked over to the other side of the field where Chloe was patrolling. She had been back to work for about a month now and everyone was still keeping an eye on her. This was her biggest assignment since coming back and, of all people, Gail was actually surprised Frank hadn't left her name out of the hat. Chloe must have gotten to him first; she was constantly trying to prove she was back in-full.

"She seems okay. Dov's going to have quite the headache from keeping one eye on the field and the other constantly glued to her though."

Gail laughed, "That poor boy is so whipped. She's still going back and forth between him and Wes and he just stands there asking for more."

Chris finished his bottle of water and threw it in the nearby trash can from where he was standing. "Score…two points! Come on, Gail, you would do the same with Holly."

Gail finished her own bottle of water and handing it to Chris so he could try and sink another, which he did successfully. "No, I wouldn't. There would be no debate or competition. I would win."

"I don't think Chloe is trying to have them compete. She went through a rough time and is confused."

Gail went to answer, but someone on the outskirts of the crowd caught her attention. The field was naturally slanted and from their position it was fairly easy to see everyone in their sections. The guy was fairly young, maybe early twenties, Caucasian with short light brown hair and medium build, cargo pants, a ratty t-shirt and a disheveled old military-style jacket. It wasn't his clothing that made Gail pause, but the way he pacing back and forth within a five foot space. When he turned for the second time, she noticed he had a backpack hanging off his shoulders and he kept pulling what appeared to be a phone in and out of his pocket. Also, he was standing right behind the LGBT supporters and just looked a little out of place compared to the rest of the crowd.

"Hey, Diaz...see that guy at two o'clock, in the back, green jacket and backpack… Do you think he found himself on the wrong end of the crowd by accident?"

Chris put his hand over his eyes to get a better look. "Why do you think he's pacing?"

"Yeah, my question too… I'm going to go take a walk up there. Take my spot, will ya' and call it in for me. I'll have a hard time hearing over this crowd in a second."

Gail started walking along the edges of the crowd as she heard Chris talking over the radio. She kept her eyes locked on the guy and instinctively put her hand on her gun so it wouldn't be touched as she maneuvered through the swarms of people. The guy hadn't spotted her yet. He looked lost in thought and as she approached she noticed his lips were moving quickly and he was chanting something under his breath – prayers maybe. Both his hands were in his pockets except when pulled his phone out, looked at it the screen and then put it away.

Gail was behind him now and only a few feet away. She knew when he turned he would see her. He looked enough on edge that scaring him by seeing a uniform approach probably wouldn't do either of them any good. Instead she decided to make herself known to lessen the confrontation.

She took off her sunglasses and called out from behind him, "Good afternoon, sir. Sir?"

Gail walked to the guy's side placing herself between him and the back of the crowd. She didn't touch him, but did wave in his general direction. "Sir, can you hear me?"

He finally stopped pacing and noticed her. "What do you want?"

"Just walking around. You seem a little lost. Maybe I can help."

The guy nervously scratched his head and then threw his hand back in his pocket quickly. It wasn't the one with the phone but whatever was in there was important to him. He looked up at the sky using the action to compose himself a bit then gave a half-smile and looked straight at Gail. "Just taking a walk in the park; didn't know all these people would be here."

The way he switched demeanor so quickly actually made Gail even more suspicious. There was something not right about this guy. She decided to keep him talking. "Yeah, some group got a permit to speak today. Some others are against it. You know how it goes."

He shook his head and started absentmindedly shaking his leg. Whatever brief composure he had found was quickly being lost. "Yeah, I should get going. I don't like crowds."

Instead of turning to walk away from the rally, he went to take a step into it. Gail once again got between him and the protesters. "Sir, the exit is the other way. Why don't I show you?"

The guy stopped and pulled out his phone. He looked at the screen and went to hit a button, but Gail interrupted him. "Waiting for a call? You won't hear it here. Come on, let's take a walk."

He pulled the phone a little higher and Gail noticed that there was a wire going from it into his pocket which, if she had a guess, was also going into his backpack. She realized it wasn't a phone– it was a detonator. Gail took a deep breath and tried to think. Her first three options which included radioing for help and screaming 'bomb!' she concluded all ended with her and countless others in pieces across the park. She needed to get him away from this crowd and she needed to do it quickly, quietly and safely. The only advantage she had was that this guy was clearly struggling with what he had come to do. She used the thumb of the hand still on her gun to slowly unsnap the holster and remove the safety.

"Sir, you do not want to do this. Walk with me and no one gets hurt."

He stood staring at her, or maybe it was through her, and said, "You can't stop us. No one can stop us." He then held the detonator higher showing her and everyone else his intentions. Gail noticed his fingers weren't close to the button yet, but he was certainly readying himself for the end. He started pacing again chanting, "I am saving them. I am saving us all. This is the way to salvation."

Gail used the few seconds of time she had to draw her gun and command the people around her to move. Their safety instantly became priority over her own and it didn't take long for them to catch on and start running. The action alone was enough for her radio to start echoing directives and call outs from the other officers and dispatch. Most of it became a cacophony of noise but she could hear Chris' voice clearly as he shouted for people to begin exiting without panic.

"You have one more chance! Drop the phone now or I will shoot."

The guy froze for a second and pivoted toward Gail - this time staring directly at her. His eyes had changed from nervous and frantic to something much darker. She had seen that darkness once before when she sat across a table from Ross Perik and Gail knew, without question, that this guy was about to hit that button. Everything in the next few seconds distorted into slow motion. She saw a flash of light from the sun hitting the metallic off the gun as he pulled it out of his right pocket and aimed it at her. She heard in the distance his voice yelling that 'she needed to go first' and she distinctly remembered thinking that she needed to aim for his head so the bullet didn't go through him and into the backpack hitting the bomb. She didn't see her shot hit him, only felt it discharge from her weapon as she found herself being unnaturally and rapidly thrown backward by a force hitting her. She was falling too fast to have any control and was pretty sure her head was the first thing to hit the ground. She looked up at the sun for a second and strangely thought 'I should call Holly to bring me sunscreen' and then everything went black.

**A/N: Gail's thoughts on being an advocate about gay rights comes from a conversation I had many moons ago with a friend of mine. She and her wife have been together for more than thirty years and told me that friends of theirs were always trying to get them to go to some community activism event, but they always politely declined. She said she did her part but letting the neighbors see her mowing the lawn and raising their kids because it's in the normal everyday stuff when people realize you are no different that people begin to accept those around them. **


	20. Chapter 17

Holly leaned back in her office chair and bit into her apple. She had previously carved out the time to go to the rally and since she now wasn't going she took a few minutes to enjoy her lunch. Of course, because she wasn't planning on being there, her lunch was whatever she found in the back of the refrigerator; but it was still nice to have a few minutes of quiet.

She reflected on the brief argument Gail and she had had that morning. She should have been mad that Gail practically demanded her not to go today; but she understood the reasoning behind it and they both worked it out quickly. Their ability to communicate with each other continued to get better over time - it was something they both worked on and it usually paid off. It was fairly amazing watching her girlfriend mature over these last few months; to watch her drop her guard more and allow people to see the real her. Holly knew therapy was helping Gail a great deal, but it wasn't just that – it was them. They just worked. Both had been in relationships for longer than the one they shared, but neither had ever committed the way they did with each other or took the time to listen and learn from one another.

She thought about that night a few weeks ago when she decided she was going to officially ask Gail to move into their apartment. It was funny looking back thinking there would have been any hesitation on Gail's part in saying yes. They were as close to already living together as two people could be without actually changing an address with work and the post office. Gail still paid rent at her old place, but hadn't spent a night there in more than three months. Still, Holly hesitated because some part of her was still afraid it wasn't all real or that her girlfriend would use it as an opportunity to throw up a wall or run away. She came close to allowing her insecurities to get the best of her, but finally worked up the courage over dinner. Gail said something about needing to run over to her apartment to pick up something and Holly took it as a sign and asked.

She smiled remembering the look on Gail's face. It was a mixture of happiness and love wrapped in that smile she only reserved for Holly and it eased all the insecurities she had. They had spent a good part of the night 'negotiating terms' in the best ways possible and then later, lying in bed under the moonlight, Holly shared with Gail her hesitation and worry. They spoke for hours about the reasons behind it. They discussed everything from past relationship failures, trust, their parent's marriages, what they wanted from each other and even future plans. It had been one of the most open and intimate conversations they had ever had and it cemented their relationship even more.

Before she could continue her jaunt down memory lane her phone started ringing. She looked down to see her friend, RJ's, name on the screen. They were supposed to go to that rally together…maybe he didn't get her text cancelling and was calling to yell at her for not showing up.

She answered using his stage name to ease whatever fit he was about to throw. "Good afternoon, Regina Joy! How can forensics…."

Holly was cut off by her friend screaming her name into the phone. He was out of breath and clearly in some kind of distress. She immediately sat up straight in her chair as her heart began beating out of her chest.

"RJ! Where are you? What's going on?" Holly put her hand over her one ear to try and hear better - there was a lot of noise in the background.

"Holly! Are you at the park? Holls, are you ok? I don't see you." RJ screamed over the crowd.

Holly stood quickly. Her mouth went dry and her stomach dropped to the floor as a million scenarios flew through her brain. "RJ, I'm at work. I never went. What's going on?"

Holly could hear screaming in the background, but RJ, himself, hadn't spoken in a minute or two turning her worry into panic. As much as she was concerned for her friend, the only thought on repeat in her head was '_Gail's there. Gail's there.'_

Finally RJ jumped back on the line. "I'm sorry, Holls. They are trying to get us out of here quickly without causing a stampede."

"RJ, what happened? What's going on? Are you ok? Where's Gail?"

"I saw her earlier, but…Oh, god…"

"RJ!" Holly screamed. She couldn't remain calm anymore. She was being fed the slightest bits of information and her imagination was filling in the gaps.

RJ must have gotten out of the crowd because the noise in the background died down significantly. "I'm sorry, babe. They moved us all to the parking lot. They won't let us leave but I'm safe. I don't know what happened. One minute we were all chanting together, drowning out that asshole and the next people are running and screaming. Then…then…. Holly… Holls, don't panic."

Holly was pacing in her office. In a matter of seconds, it had become her jail. She didn't know where to go or what to do and the walls were all starting to contract around her. "It's a little too late for that. RJ, what the fuck…?"

"Holly, there were gunshots." RJ's voice was eerily calm, like he was trying to calm Holly. RJ was one of Holly's oldest and dearest friends. She had known him when he was still a geeky little finance major in college petrified of coming out and not the hugely successful confident investment banker on the weekdays and a cabaret loving drag queen on the weekends he is today. They had both helped each other through those transition years and there were few people she knew or trusted more. Knowing him the way she did, the fact that he was acting calm was even more reason to worry.

"RJ, please. Please tell me…"

"Honey, everyone is talking. No one knows what happened. They got us out so fast and we can't see from here."

Tears began streaming down Holly's face. Worry was overwhelming her and she needed answers. She needed Gail. She whispered her name a few times to herself but RJ must have heard.

"I haven't seen her. She was on the other side and there are so many people here. I'm sure she's fine. She's Gail, Holly. She's super cop."

"No, she's just my Gail. I have to find her. I have to get there." Holly started ripping off her lab coat and looking for her keys. She had no idea what she was going to do, but she had to do more that stand in her office driving herself mad.

RJ yelled at his friend, "Holly, you can't come here. They won't let you come close. Just...hold on a sec'. Please."

Holly stood in the hallway of the morgue and listened as her friend talked to someone near him. She tried to hear what he was saying but it was too muffled. Finally he started talking to her again.

"Holly, go to the station. Go find Gail's brother or someone. Don't come here."

"What do you know! Tell me!"

There was a long silent pause on the line. "Dammit, RJ!"

"Holly…." His voice was shaking.

Holly's breathing started to accelerate. "Robert, tell me."

"People are saying a cop was involved…a woman. I don't know anything else. That may not even be true…."

Holly hung up the phone before he could continue. She turned in circles and grabbed her head with her shaking hands. Her worst nightmare was coming true and it was paralyzing her in fear. She needed to do something. She needed to find answers. She felt the phone still in her hand and looked at it for a second and then did the simplest thing she could think of – she hit the button and dialed her girlfriend's phone. It rang a few times and then went to voicemail. She did it again with the same result, so she did it again. After the fifth attempt, she left a message. _'Gail, call me. You need to call me right now. I…it can't be you. Don't let it be you, okay. Come home and call me right now before I climb the walls. I just need to know you're okay. I love you so much. Please, just…please just call.'_

She had no idea if what she said made sense. Gail could spend the rest of the night mocking her for it, she didn't care; she just needed to see her. She ran through the lobby of the morgue and out the exit. She went to jump in her car, but instead found herself running down the street and toward the police station. If she wasn't going to be able to get to the park for answers then she would go to the second best place.

XXXXXXX

Gail stirred wearily and started to open her eyes. Something on her thigh was vibrating and it was annoying her that is woke her from sleeping. She put her hand on her leg and realized it was her phone. _'That's strange_,' she thought, _'Why am I sleeping in my uniform? Phone…what was important about a phone?' _She opened her eyes a little and a stream of sunlight crashed into her pupils immediately causing her to shut them again quickly.

She knew she was lying on the ground but her body felt strangely out of synch with her brain like she was in a fog. She took a deep breath to try and wake herself up, but the action caused her chest to suddenly flair in pain. Something was wrong with her and she needed to orient herself enough to figure it out. She didn't know why, but she knew it was important she did. She went to lift her right hand to find where the pain was originating, but she was holding something…something very familiar. Her eyes shot open when she realized it was her gun.

Moments of clarity began streaming in and out and the last few minutes in the park came rushing back. She had been talking to a suspicious guy and he had a bomb. He had pulled out a gun the same time she aimed hers at him. She needed to stop him. She needed to make sure everyone was alright. In a flash, Holly telling her she was coming to the rally replayed from that morning and panic hit her like a sledgehammer. Thankfully she then had enough awareness to recall the rest of the conversation and remembered her girlfriend wasn't there. She sighed in relief only to feel that pain again.

She used every ounce of strength she could muster and rolled to her left side so she could get up. Her vision was beyond blurred, but she could tell there were a lot less people around her than before. Someone was kneeling next to her and talking, but she couldn't understand their words – the fog in her head was too dense. Was it the bomb guy? She needed to make she everyone knew they were in danger. She starting to get up and talk hoping someone would hear her.

"The guy….get the guy…bo…" She was on her knees now, still holding her gun. She shook her head trying to clear it but instead it caused her body to break out in a cold sweat and nausea overtook her. Before she knew it she was bent forward on her hands and knees vomiting uncontrollably. Her entire abdomen constricted in pain that she could feel all the way down to her toes and she didn't have the strength to hold herself up. Before she could fall forward, someone grabbed her from behind and she was lying halfway on top of whoever was sitting on the ground holding her.

She didn't know why, but she tried to fight the person underneath to release her.

"I have ta'…the guy."

Whoever it was held onto her a little tighter and she could hear his voice somewhere in the distance thanking someone for trying to help, but to get out of there. _'Where was there? Oh, the park…the people…_' She was having a really hard time remembering, but a word kept flashing in her brain - bomb.

"The guy…"

"Gail. Gail, it okay. It's me, Chris. I got you."

_'Chris? Chris was holding her? He needed to understand.'_

"Chris, get the guy!" Gail opened her eyes again. She couldn't see straight and another wave of nausea hit her, but she pushed through it. She shocked herself and Chris by breaking his hold and standing up quickly. She went to grip her gun, but it was no longer in her hand. She stumbled as she tried to search the ground for it. Before she could get very far, she saw Chris bend down and get her gun then come back to hold her and keep her from falling.

"Gail, you've been shot! I think it hit your vest, but I need to check. You definitely hit your head."

Chris started to pat down and scan her vest, but she turned away from him before he could get very far and concentrated as hard as she could for the right words. "Chris! He had a bomb. We need to get the bomb!"

She could hear Chris mutter 'oh god' under his breath and start yelling into his radio. She heard the words bomb squad and felt relief that he finally seemed to understand her. She faltered a bit on her feet but still managed to stay upright as she turned more. She noticed someone lying on the ground a few feet away and instinct told her to go help them. She took a step closer, but Chris pulled her back.

"Gail! No! Come on, we need to clear the area. They'll get him."

She was confused. Things weren't processing in her brain at normal speed. She pointed in the direction of the guy. "We need to help him. The bomb guy will hurt him."

"That is the guy. Gail, look at me." Gail did as she was directed as Chris placed her left arm around his shoulder and bent down to pick her up. "He's dead. You shot him and he's dead."

She didn't protest as Chris lifted her and began carrying her off the field. Walking seemed a bit overrated at the moment anyway. She let his words sink in. Everything was hazy but what he said seemed to make sense to her so she trusted him that it would be okay. Her head was killing her and the right-side of her chest felt like it was on fire. She really wanted to go home and go to bed. Maybe Holly would come home early too. The last thing she remembered was asking Chris to call Holly to meet her at home.


	21. Chapter 18

Holly ran into the police station not even pretending to stop at the front desk. Whoever was there must have recognized her, because she hadn't been stopped or tackled to the ground. The way she was feeling at the moment, she would have probably ended up in a cell for hitting back. She was really trying to not overreact and be that crazy protective girlfriend Gail would sometimes jokingly accuse her of being, but it wasn't easy.

She rapidly walked down the hallway to the detective offices where Traci typically was. She knew Steve was on the second floor somewhere, but didn't know exactly where. Traci's office she knew – they occasionally had lunch together; sometimes with Gail and sometimes without. In the last few months they had become pretty close spending quality time laughing and commiserating on what it was like dating the Peck siblings.

Before she could make the turn into the office, Traci came storming out with a hand held radio next to her ear. She stopped mid-stride the second she saw Holly.

"Holly…"

"Traci, Gail? What's happening? Tell me."

Traci inhaled sharply and grabbed Holly's wrist to pull her to the side of the hall allowing people to walk by unobstructed. She was actually on her way to the morgue to get Holly so she could calmly explain everything. By the way Holly was shaking like a leaf; it looked like someone got to her friend first. It was moments like this, Traci missed being in uniform out in the field. She had spent the last twenty minutes glued to a radio as everything unfolded, instead of out there helping. Listening to Chris scream, '_Officer down!_' and calls for back-up and then, horrifically, the bomb squad had her completely on-edge and frustrated she couldn't do more. Yes, detectives would play their role, but right now she just wanted to help her friends. She may not have been able to help her uniformed friends, but she could help the one standing in front of her.

"Holly, it's going to be alright. I don't have all the specifics yet, but there was a situation at the rally." It wasn't until a few minutes ago, when Steve called her to say he was on his way to the hospital and asking her to get Holly that the full picture began to paint itself. She had some information, probably more than the frightened woman before her, but not a lot.

Holly clenched her fists in frustration and anxiety. "I know. I know that. My friend was there…he said a female cop was…he said there were gunshots. Traci, please. Please tell me it wasn't Gail."

There are some answers that don't need to be said aloud. Some you just know by the look on someone's face. This was one of those. Holly closed her eyes and tried to not pass out. She felt Traci's hands on her shoulders steadying her.

"Holly. Holly, look at me. Chris was there and he radioed dispatch. It hit her vest. Holly, it hit her vest. They're taking her to the hospital, but it hit her vest."

Holly fell backwards leaning against the wall. She bent forward and held her head up with a hand. Her brain was trying to reconcile that Gail apparently had been the one involved…not to mention shot, with the idea that, if what Traci said was true, she was okay. She was a scientist at heart and needed evidence.

"I need to get there…I need to see her." Holly immediately started walking back down the hallway in a daze to leave, but was quickly caught up to by her friend.

"I was on my way to get you. I'm driving." Traci had never seen Holly so off kilter before. She almost didn't recognize the woman next to her quickly walking out of the station. Holly was usually so calm and collected; it was one of the many things that made Holly and Gail such a good couple. Gail would become a quick-tempered fireball about something and Holly would extinguish the impulse as quickly as it had occurred. It rarely needed to happen the other way around.

The both silently got in the car. Traci looked over at Holly and decided to throw the police lights on. It wasn't enough of an emergency to hit the sirens, but she hoped it would help Holly see she was doing what she could to get them there quickly. After a minute, Holly's phone started ringing. Traci briefly looked over and saw the word 'Cop' displayed on the screen and smiled. She had heard Holly refer to Gail as that a few times when they thought no one was in earshot.

Holly frantically hit the button on her phone. "Gail! Gail, where are you?"

Holly's faces scrunched in confusion when a man's voice answered. It took her a second to process who it was.

"Chris? Why do you have Gail's phone? Can I talk to her?"

Traci was trying to listen in on the conversation but couldn't make out anything Chris was saying. Holly just kept saying 'ok' and nodding her head as her leg vibrated the whole car. She hung up a few seconds later and closed her eyes.

"Holly, what did Chris say?" Traci's own need for answers were overriding any need to allow Holly to take a minute.

"They just got to the emergency room. Gail told him to call me, which means she must have been alert, right?" Holly didn't let Traci answer, she just kept talking. "He said she passed out but regained consciousness in the ambulance – thinks she has a concussion, but she's okay. The bullet hit her vest and he doesn't know if there was any damage, but she wasn't bleeding. Oh, thank God, it didn't go through."

Traci reached over and took Holly's hand. "Holly, she's going to be fine. It's okay, you can breathe."

Holly tightened the grip around her friend's hand and used the back of her other hand to press it against her mouth in an effort to hold back her tears. She quietly said, "I hate this. I hate that this is part of what you all do. I don't know how to do it."

Traci didn't know how to respond. She had lost one man she loved to this job already and lived in fear it would happen again, but she slept at night reconciling it was part of the job. Something she and all of them accepted when they signed the papers and took the pledge. Holly never did that. Holly never signed up for the job. She just happened to fall in love with someone who did. As much as she wanted to comfort Holly, she just didn't have the words.

They silently pulled into the emergency room parking lot, and Traci took one of the spaces near the entrance. She seriously doubted they would question a police vehicle parking somewhere. As they got out of the car, both women noticed how busy the ER was. There were police and people everywhere. Traci quickened her step to keep up with Holly practically running through the open sliding glass doors. Before they could get to the front desk, Steve called out their name and they were met by both him and Chris.

Steve looked haggard but calm. He accepted the hug from his girlfriend and then reached out to Holly to hug her as well - she really looked like she could use it.

"They took her back. She was alert. I didn't get to see her, but Chris…"

Chris jumped in, "Yeah, she's okay. She's kind of in a fog. I think she hit her head pretty hard and told the paramedics it hurt when she breathed, but all her vitals were good on the bus."

Traci couldn't help going into detective-mode. "What the hell happened?"

Chris paused for a moment, not sure he should be relaying the story before he gave his statement or in front of Holly, but Steve nodded for him to continue so he did. "We were at our posts. There were so many people there, it was crazy. I went over to give Gail a bottle of water and she noticed some guy in the distance that she thought looked suspicious. She went to talk to him. I was watching her the whole time. I don't know… There were so many people."

"Chris it's alright. You didn't know." Traci placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Gail knew. She knew something was wrong with that guy. They talked for a couple minutes and then I saw her try and get everyone to move and she pulled out her gun and so did he. They shot at the same time. I watched her fall and then all hell broke loose and I couldn't get to her. We had to get everyone out and I couldn't get to her."

Steve looked down to the ground. He knew he shouldn't be asking these questions before Chris could go back the station and gave his statement, but he didn't care. This was his little sister and he needed the details. "Did she hit her mark?"

Chris nodded his head in affirmation. "HI think he was dead before he hit the ground. Gail was only down for a few minutes - it may have been less than that…everything was moving so quickly. She was really disoriented, but she told me about the…the…." Chris looked back over at Holly and decided to stop what he was about to say.

She had been suspiciously quiet during all this, but finally spoke up when she realized all eyes were on her. "Diaz, what?" Her tone was short and very Gail-like. She was tired of getting half-answers all day.

Chris shuffled his feet buying some time and decided to continue. "The guy had a bomb. That's why Gail pulled out her gun. She must have figured it out." Chris thought back to the argument Gail had with the paramedics when she awoke in the ambulance and tried to demand she be taken back and make sure everyone knew about the bomb – she must have forgotten she told him earlier. It was actually fairly epic on the Gail Peck scale of meltdowns. Holly was going to have to make the medics a batch of cookies so Gail could apologize.

"They did find a device. It was dismantled quickly and will be investigated. The only injuries, outside of Gail, have been reporting in as minor from people trying to get out." Steve supplied. He had been called by his father on the way to the hospital telling him that bomb squad had dismantled a homemade devise during the rally and he wanted Steve to get involved in the investigation. His father never mentioned Gail and he had no idea if it was because of the rift between them or that he didn't know. He tried filtering out the scenario of his father knowingly not asking about his own daughter's well-being when guns and bombs were involved. His dad had been silent these last few months, but he wasn't a cruel man.

Holly looked down and noticed Chris was holding a vest. She saw "Peck" on the name badge and reached over and grabbed it before Chris could stop her.

"Holly, it's evidence; I need to take it back to the station."

She put one hand over the impact site on the outside and another on the inside. She felt the indentation pushing through the Kevlar and knew how deep it would have smashed into Gail's right side around her 6th and 7th ribs. "BABT – 'behind-armor blunt trauma…' I spent half a semester looking at pictures of chests and abdomens with this kind of impact. At least one of her ribs is cracked if not more. They need to check for flail. If they're broken, they need to check for internal bleeding and puncture wounds to her…."

"Holly, come on. I think we need to go find my sister so you can see her. We can stand in the corner or something. What's the good in being a cop if you can't break some rules?" Steve put his arm around Holly's shoulder and motioned for Traci to come as well. He then quietly took the vest out of her hands giving back to Chris who informed them he needed to go to the station but would be back as soon as possible. He also said he would make sure everyone else was updated. All their phones had been vibrating throughout their conversation with people wanting information.

XXXXXXX

Gail made a decision. It was a simple decision that she planned to fully see through even in her groggy and immobile state. The next person that shined a light into her eyes was going to get kicked. They had taken her boots off so the damage of her kick wouldn't be too great, but it would send a message. Didn't they know how badly her head already hurt? At least they nicely took off the boots and didn't cut them like they did her shirt and pants. Her uniform was expensive and there really wasn't any need for the cutting. If they were really nice, they would release her head from the medieval torture device they had it locked in so she wouldn't move; but instead they were being dramatic and putting on a show. She hated hospitals.

She needed to call Holly, but they wouldn't let her use the phone and she couldn't remember where hers was. If Holly knew what happened, she would be going out of her mind with worry. She knew her girlfriend went from rational nerd to on-edge rambler when it came to the dangerous side of her job. It was something they discussed occasionally and this little episode would likely bring on another round. She asked the nurse for a phone again and was told, again, it would need to wait. Instead they asked her for the fifth time 'what was her name?' and 'what was her birthday?' It was all so very irritating.

Some new guy came in and started asking her questions and poking at her side commanding her to take deep breaths. She was deciding whether to kick him for bringing on such pain when she heard a very familiar voice across the room. She started waving her left hand to come closer and called out in the direction of the voice.

"Hol. Hol, come here." She smiled when she heard her girlfriend tell someone, maybe with a touch of rudeness, to move. She recognized she wasn't in any great health danger because whoever it was actually did. She felt Holly's hand take hers and was soon looking into the brown eyes she loved so much.

"Hey! I've been trying to call you, but they stole my phone. Did I reach you? How'd you get here?" She was still having trouble stringing sentences together but it sounded like it made enough sense.

"Chris called. He has your phone, by the way, no one stole it. Traci brought me. Gail, are you in pain?"

Gail squinted her eyes a bit trying to think. "They keep putting lights in my eyes. Make them stop."

Gail's words were coherent but all had a touch of dreaminess to them like she was floating on a cloud. Holly knew they wouldn't have given her drugs until they could fully determine the extent of her injuries and chalked it up to lethargy from the concussion she most certainly had. "They need to examine you. Let them do their jobs."

"Hol, I think my nose got sunburned. Can you ask them to fix that?"

Holly let out a deep breath she had no idea she had been holding and gave Gail a weary smile. Only Gail would think about something like that in this moment – concussed or not. She finally allowed herself to believe that Gail was going to be alright. Yes, she was a little battered and bruised, but she was whole and she was going to be fine. She squeezed Gail's hand a little more.

"I'll make sure they put some aloe on it."

"Thanks, Nerd." Gail returned Holly's smile. She saw the initial look of fear and worry on Holly's face and was happy she could ease it.

"Holly, I'm fine. They are going to poke at me for a while but I am fine. It's okay."

Holly just nodded her head and tried to control her emotions enough to not cry. It wasn't working. "I was so scared. I didn't know what was going on and I thought the worst."

"Hey, you can't get rid of me that easy. I'm tough."

Holly chuckled through her tears. "Yeah? Tough one can't even find her phone."

"I didn't want you to worry. Don't worry, Hol. I love you." Gail reached up and wiped away a tear falling from Holly's cheek.

Holly mouthed she loved her too and leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Hey, your brother and Traci are here."

Gail shifted her eyes back and forth trying to find them. She heard footsteps getting closer and the couple appeared on her right.

"Hey, little sister, seems you found yourself in a bit of predicament." Steve gave his sister a comforting smile as Traci also greeted her friend.

"Steve, can you make sure Holly is alright. She worries."

"Gail, I'm still standing here."

Gail glanced back to her left. "Oh, yeah. My brain isn't quite…"

"Don't worry; we'll take care of her." Traci patted Gail's leg to let her know she meant it.

"Good. Good."

Steve put his hand on Gail's shoulder. "The nurse is giving us an evil look. They want to take you for tests. I tried to explain how hard headed Peck's were and that you would be fine, but they're insisting."

"Ugh…I just need a few hours in bed." Gail tried to shift and pain immediately shot through her side. She groaned, "…or maybe days."

"Gail, I'll be here when you get back. You are very likely going to get admitted for observation so just accept it now." Holly squeezed the blonde's hand again to let her know it was alright.

"But…"

"Accept it. 'Difficult Gail' is not to come out and play today." Holly gave her girlfriend her best glare which Gail tried to return but ended up scrunching her face when the light above hit her eyes. She gave a wry smile in the direction of Holly with her eyes shut instead.

A nurse and assistant broke the conversation and insisted they needed to take Gail up now for head and chest CT scans. Gail waved good-bye to her family as they pushed her out of the room, leaving Steve, Traci and Holly standing there.

Steve ran his hands through his hair. "She looked good considering. She'll be fine." He nodded in confirmation of his statement.

"She's going to terrorize the entire hospital staff for as long as they keep her. I kind of feel bad for them." Steve and Holly laughed lightly at Traci's comment all recognizing the truth in it.

"I'm staying. If you two need to go…Leo…work…"

"Leo's with Dex until tomorrow. I'm gonna stay. The rest of the crew will probably start coming after shift in a few hours. " Traci reached over and put a comforting arm around Holly's shoulder.

Steve looked down at his phone and noticed the number of missed calls. "I need to run back to the station. There's going to be a big investigation into all this. That group - the one at the rally – we need to make sure they weren't involved and I want to make sure Gail gets her version of this front and center."

Holly snapped her head in Steve's direction, "What does that mean?"

Sometimes Steve forgot Holly wasn't police. He immediately had an apologetic look on his face. "I just meant that Gail shot someone today in a public place filled with people and they are going to take a lot of statements including hers - someone will probably be here soon. Sometimes people think they see things they didn't actually see and I want to make sure that doesn't happen. Trace, if they want her statement today and I am still at the station will you…"

"Of course. I won't let them talk to her alone." Steve leaned in and kissed his girlfriend before leaving.

A nurse came in and gave them the number for the room Gail was going to end up in for the night and told them they could wait there. They began to walk tiredly to the elevator. Another day was ending.

**A/N: As always, thank you kindly for the reviews. Sorry for teasing a bit with the cliffhangers. Last chapter's wasn't intentional, I was just too tired that night to write the rest. :-)**


	22. Chapter 19

**A/N: So I wasn't planning on writing this chapter and instead skip ahead a few days, but you kind reviewers seemed to enjoy concussed Gail so I thought I would give it a go. You have all been so thoughtfully following my story; I wanted to give something in return. I hope it lives up to what your imaginations had planned. Oh, and I am by no means an expert on anything medical and am just using my own liberties for the sake of creativity.**

Holly shifted in the uncomfortable hospital-issued chair trying to ease her tense muscles. She put her feet up on the metal bar at the bottom of the bed and rotated her neck side-to-side. It wasn't helping but she wasn't sure anything would after sitting in the same spot for the last two hours. They had taken Gail up for CT scans and Traci and she were waiting patiently in the room her girlfriend was likely going to be spending at least the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours in. That meant Holly was going to be spending the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours in that chair so she decided she might as well get used to it.

She looked over at Traci, who was intently watching the news coverage of the rally and shooting. Every channel was covering it and trying to one-up their competition. There were mobile phone videos of everyone running for cover; interviews of people in the park; interviews of people that knew people in the park. At this point they had even interviewed a guy who happened to be walking his dog on the other side of the park and may or may not have heard the shots. If Holly wasn't reminded every time she heard the word 'shot' that one of the bullets fired had hit her girlfriend, she would have found it all very amusing.

At least she hadn't seen RJ mugging for the camera and so far the reporters hadn't released Gail's name. It was only a matter of time though before they did as Holly imagined it was very tempting to be the first news station to break that particular piece of information. Thankfully, no one seemed to have actual video of the shooting or Gail at the scene, but they could have just been holding out releasing it for when they told the entire city of Toronto and the Greater Ontario area the name of the police officer. They already released the name of the bomber and she recognized the front of the hospital she was currently sitting in behind the reporters so they were closing in. It probably also explained the uniform already standing guard outside Gail's private room.

"How long do you think it will be before the release Gail's name?" Holly decided to relay her curiosity to Traci. Her friend may not have the answer, but it would at least pass the monotonous time waiting for her girlfriend to come back.

Traci frowned and shook her head. "Well at this point they have pretty much pointed to her hospital room window and said 'it rhymes with Snail Fleck' so I would give it no more than thirty more minutes."

"She is going to go ballistic when she finds out she made the news, you know."

"Oh, yeah; so will Frank and Steve but we all know it's going to happen. She saved a lot of people's lives today. People just want to commend her."

Holly chuckled at the thought of Gail's expression if a bunch of people all of a sudden gave her a standing ovation. She would totally run for the hills. She hated attention, usually saying it was the result of her rebellious gene trying to break free of the Peck legacy. "Gail doesn't do commendation well."

Traci smiled at Holly and took her hand trying to ease her friend's never-ending hamster wheel of anxiety that spun throughout the last few hours. "She may officially get one of those too and she deserves it. I'm not supposed to talk about this but the phone call I took outside earlier was Steve telling me that so far all witness statements coming in paint Gail in a very good light. There hasn't been one eye-witness discrepancy to that fact. Plus they raided that guy's apartment and found enough evidence to have convicted him for life."

"…if Gail hadn't killed him. She killed a man, Traci. She is going to have to deal with that. It doesn't matter how much of a lunatic he was."

Traci squeezed Holly's hand a little tighter. "And if she struggles, we will help her. She's not alone. She has you, me, Steve, Oliver, Dov, Chloe, Chris, Andy…she has people that love her and will support her. I think Gail has finally reached a point where she knows that too and we have you to thank for it."

Holly paused momentarily thinking about how far Gail had come in the last few months. The trust she had finally gifted to her family had made a world of difference not only in Gail herself but their relationship. Holly grinned at her friend mostly in thanks for the reassurance. "Nah, I'm just weird nerd she lives with. Her therapist does all the heavy lifting."

Traci started to laugh, but before she could respond they were interrupted by an orderly pushing Gail in into the room with a nurse following behind. The first thing both women noticed was the loopy smile on the blonde's face and knew they were in for an interesting evening.

"Wazzup, my bitches?" Gail greeted them and made a poorly coordinated devil hand gesture.

Holly winced and put her head down while Traci turned off the tv and leaned over to whispered, "A hundred dollars if you let me record this."

Holly leaned over and said, "Not a chance, Nash. I'm not going down with you if she found out." She then got up to help Gail into the bed before the nurse could assist. She couldn't help it; she had a need to be in control at the moment. Plus she really wanted to touch Gail and make sure she was alright. Surprisingly the nurse didn't argue.

Her comment as she began situating the blankets and other paraphernalia confirmed why. "I'm Robin. You must be Holly. I've heard a lot about you in the last few hours."

Holly raised an eyebrow at Gail who gave a somewhat sheepish look in return. "You told me I had to be nice. I'm nicest when I talk about you."

"You just called Traci and me 'your bitches.'"

"In the most affectionate way possible! Trace, tell her!" Gail was now seated in the bed trying to get comfortable. Holly and Traci both noticed how she kept grabbing her right side in pain muttering curse words every time she moved too quickly.

Traci stood and walked over closer to the bed so she was on Gail's right, Holly on the left and the nurse at the foot of the bed. She pulled out her phone but got an evil glare from Holly before she could hit record and slowly slid it back in her pocket.

"Yes, Gail, I live to be called one of your 'bitches,'" she said placating her friend.

"See, Traci understands!" Gail started coughing then shut her eyes tight taking a few shallow breaths.

"Gail, I know it hurts but you need to take deeper breaths. It will help." Holly grabbed a pillow and placed it on her girlfriend's abdomen to provide a little comfort and then turned to the nurse. "What did the tests show?"

Robin placed a pitcher of water on the table and the responded, "The doctor will be in shortly. He'll give the full run down. In the last few hours her short-term memory seems to be a little foggy so we're going to come in every few hours and monitor her with some questions. We'll also…"

"Hey! Hey, nurse woman! Hellooo, I'm in the room. I know she has a million degrees but it's my head you're talking about."

"Gail, be nice." This time it was Traci trying to guide her friend's behavior.

Robin just smiled. "It's ok. Some people with concussions experience sudden shifts in personality."

Holly placed a hand on Gail's shoulder. "Actually, that's just Gail."

Gail scrunched her face up and attempted a glare, but her head hurt too much for it to really be effective. "Traitor. Oh! And you promised they would quit shining light-y things in my eyes and they haven't. You're a traitor for that too." Gail pointed a finger at Holly before turning it to the nurse. "I didn't forget that one now did I?"

"Alright Gail, let's go through a few more since you seem so keen on proving me wrong."

Traci took a seat and muttered, "I can't believe Steve is about to miss this show. Holly? Come on…"

Holly mouthed 'no' to Traci but had to admit to herself that she was also contemplating getting out her phone. If Gail was actually being mean or angry, it would be a different story; but she was mostly just bantering with everyone like a happy drunk. Since Gail hadn't actually drank in the last six-months it was a rare site to see.

Robin began her line of questioning. There were a few set things she needed to ask, but mostly she wanted to assess Gail's memory, communication skills and comprehension.

"Tell me your name, please."

Gail stared across the bed at the nurse and squinted her eyes. "You have said my name like fifty times. Are you sure YOU didn't hit your head?"

"You're name, please."

"Gail Peck. '_Officer of the Law_'" She drew out the last few words like a cowboy on an old western movie.

Robin was having a hard time keeping a straight face when she took down her notes. Patients like Gail were always enjoyable to work with. She could tell the blonde was trying to be tough, but was actually kind of sweet and very funny. The way she rambled on and on about her girlfriend when she was getting the head and chest CTs pretty much made all the those listening want to call their significant others and tell them they loved them. Plus, she had heard through the grapevine what the office had done that day in the park and had a huge amount of respect for her.

"What's my name?"

Everyone noticed Gail's fingers tapping on the pillow and the look of bewilderment. Gail finally answered, "Nurse."

"My name is 'Nurse'?"

"Yee-ep."

"I introduced myself to you two hours ago, Gail. You've said my name a couple of times. Try and remember."

Gail bit her bottom lip in frustration - this confusion really needed to go away. She tried to concentrate. "Uh…it's an animal."

"Close." Robin looked over at Holly and noticed how she was practically willing the other woman to answer correctly. She knew from Gail that Holly was in the medical field, but nothing really prepared you for watching someone you love struggle after being hurt. Her heart went out to the brunette.

Gail ran through every animal she could think of trying to recall the woman's name. "You know, I likely wouldn't remember your name on a good day. Just sayin'."

Robin smiled. "I'll give you a hint. It's a bird."

"It's a plane…!" Gail called out hoping to get a little credit for knowing the phrase. Based on the raised eyebrows on the nurse she guessed she didn't. She huffed and closed her eyes. After a minute she opened them again and said, "Robin. Your name is Robin."

"Good job, Officer Peck; just a few more. Now what's your birthday?"

"Duh, the day I was born. Although I'm not entirely convinced I came from my mother. If you met her you would…"

Holly took Gail's hand and placed her other one on top. "Gail. I don't think she needs commentary for every question." Gail blew her girlfriend a kiss and answered her birthday and the next few questions without annotation.

"Tell me what you've eaten today."

Gail scratched her head trying to think back. "What time is it?" Maybe knowing the time would help her place what meals she would have already ate.

Robin looked down at her watch. "It's 5:12 pm."

Gail was quiet for a few seconds running through the events of the day. She remembered most of it a little clearer than she had wanted to at the moment, but she couldn't remember eating. It suddenly hit her why. With a smirk, she answered, "Well I skipped lunch to listen to a hate speech and I skipped food for breakfast in favor of sex. Sweet, sweet glorious sex… better than a granola bar anyday."

"_Oh, god… _Gail Peck!"Holly put her head down in embarrassment.

Gail turned to Holly and grinned mischievously. "Don't think I forgot about reciprocation. The shower…"

"Gail!" Holly cut off her girlfriend before she could finish. Apparently Gail's filter was still laying someone on that park field. She turned to Robin and apologized who just shrugged her shoulders saying that Gail got a check for remembering.

"Well since it appears you haven't eaten all day, I'll make sure your dinner is here soon. Alright next question and try to keep it clean, Officer. Who is the person to your right?" Robin asked mostly wanting to observe her patient's knowledge of right and left.

Gail turned her head to Traci and inhaled sharply putting her hand over the pillow where her ribs were underneath. "Dammit, can you make that go away?"

"Sorry, unfortunately there is not much that can be done for cracked ribs. We'll get you some ibuprofen after the doctor comes in."

Gail wheezed out, "Hospitals suck," as she closed her eyes for a second letting the pain pass. "What did you ask me?"

"Think back, Gail. You tell me."

Gail looked at Traci with puppy dog eyes hoping for a little help. Traci just tilted her head and patted Gail's shoulder knowing she would get in a lot of trouble with Holly if she gave an assist.

Gail tried to untangle the fragmented thoughts running through her head to clear some space and remember, but it was just making her head hurt more. "I don't like this game. Let's play a new one."

Robin walked over and stood next to Traci. "Its okay, Gail, I asked who this was."

Gail looked perplexed as if she didn't believe that was the question. "Oh, that's easy. Traci Nash…detective, 15th Division…mother to the coolest kid ever…future sister-in-law."

Traci pointed her finger at the blonde. "Gail, don't go there."

Gail just smiled wickedly. She may have a concussion, but she was still with it enough to try and put in her digs about wanting Steve and Traci to get married. Goodness knows Traci did it enough with Holly and her.

"And who is the person on your left, Gail?"

Gail immediately squeezed the hand holding hers and turned toward her girlfriend. She looked Holly in the eyes and saw the same mixture of love and worry she remembered from looking into those brown eyes in the emergency room. She gave a half-smile and said, "I have no idea who this woman is."

Holly knew her girlfriend well enough to know when she was just volleying a verbal grenade to see what came of it. She couldn't help but smile and play along. "You have no idea who I am?"

"Nope. None. You're kinda pretty though. It's a shame I don't remember you."

"Mmm…I know you."

"Really? How do you know me?"

Holly dramatically sighed. "We dated once or twice back in the day. It was fun. I was walking by the room and saw your name so I came in to say 'hi,' but I'll leave now since you don't seem to remember."

Holly went to take a step back, but Gail held her hand tighter. "Wait a second, I think…Maybe…Huh… Was that you that took me once to some batting cages? Almost got me killed?"

"I'm not really a fan of discussing ways you've almost gotten killed at the moment, but yes, that may have been me. Got anything else, Cop?"

"That wasn't you that woke me up at five a.m. on Christmas morning to make snow angels in the park was it? That woman was so worried I was going to be down in the dumps about my parents, she had come up with an entire day of activities including a late-night pancake run with Steve, Traci and Leo. It was the best day of my life. "

Holly rubbed her thumb on the back of Gail's hand and tried not to cry. "Sounds vaguely familiar."

"Well then that certainly wasn't you that has caught me every single time I have fallen since the day we met. Such a shame, Nerd, I really liked that person. Wonder where she is?" Gail cast a glance toward the door before turning back to her girlfriend.

Holly turned her gaze away from Gail, "I wasn't there to catch you this time."

"Holly, Holly, Hol, you're ALWAYS there. Even when you're not standing next to me holding my hand, I know where you are. Robin this is Holly Stewart…forensic pathologist…smartest person I know…overprotective, rambler, and a bit of a worrier…best friend and love of my life…Oh, and smokin' hot."

Traci wiped a tear from her eye and added one of her own to the 'Holly Stewart list' silently – 'future sister-in-law.'

Robin looked down at her notes and reminded herself she was a professional and shouldn't actually say 'aww' aloud when observing a patient. She couldn't hide her smile though when Holly didn't respond verbally but bent down and kissed her girlfriend for a second or two longer than most people would in front of a stranger. Of course, she doubted either woman in that moment had any clue there were other people in the room.

Someone cleared their throat from the entrance to the room and Traci and Robin looked over to find the doctor, Steve, and Chris all walking in at the same time. Holly broke the kiss but took an extra second to pull back just enough to look into Gail's eyes and whisper 'I love you.' Gail returned the sentiment before both women then greeted the group walking in the room.

Steve came up to the bed and wiggled Gail's blanketed foot as way of greeting, while Chris remained quiet awaiting the doctor to speak. The doctor confirmed Gail had a grade-three concussion and two cracked ribs. Both would keep her in the hospital for the next forty-eight hours for observation and she would not be released to return to work for seven to ten days, and at that time would be put on light duty until fully cleared. He gave some general instructions and prescribed some ibuprofen, but otherwise she was to rest, avoid caffeine and physical exertion.

After the doctor and Robin left, Chris walked over and handed Gail's phone to her. "I've been holding onto this for you."

Gail placed the phone on the side of the bed near her hip without looking at it. "I've been wondering where that went. I thought they stole it with my clothes. Do you have those too?"

Chris laughed. "No. Your vest is evidence so you won't get it back. Frank already put in the order for a replacement plus a new uniform. Don't worry about it, Gail."

Traci walked over and put her arm around Steve's hip and leaned into him as a way of greeting. "Chris, you're probably going to have to repeat that a few more times. It seems Gail's memory is a little spotty."

Gail did her best to look offended. "Hey, it's fine!" Holly and Traci just nodded their heads 'no' towards Chris and Steve.

"Hey, little sister, there's something I need to talk to you about." Steve's tone was a bit more serious and Gail just looked at her brother waiting for him to continue.

"Frank got them to hold off getting your statement until tomorrow. Actually your doctor told them they weren't allowed too. If I am not here, you call me alright."

Gail nodded in understanding. "What did they find, Steve?"

"Gail, it's fine. You're not in any trouble. Actually you're getting a lot of praise." Steve noticed his sister's eyes roll at the comment and chose to ignore it – her hate for attention was the most anti-Peck thing about her. Even he would have been eating this up a little. She really was going to hate what he said next. "It's just…Gail this is all over the news. I just want to make sure you're protected. Some idiot reporter released your name a few minutes ago."

Everyone in the room groaned and Gail reached for the remote only to be stopped by Holly.

"Gail, it can wait. All of this can wait." Holly glared a little at Steve who looked somewhat apologetic.

"Hol, it's alright." Gail reached out for Holly's hand. At some point she must have released it and Gail felt the need to immediately correct that fact.

"Holly's right; we'll talk about it tomorrow. You should get some rest, little sister."

The next few hours were filled with visiting friends; dinner that turned into burgers and fries after Gail convinced Chris to replace the offending food offering from the hospital; and, to everyone's surprise, Gail kicking her visitors out so she could spend a few minutes alone with Chloe to make sure she was okay after the shooting.

By eight-thirty that evening, it was just Holly and Gail – both of which were beyond exhausted. Gail looked over at her girlfriend sitting in the chair and gave her a perplexed look. "Hol, why are you sitting in that chair?"

Holly looked down at the chair like it was news to her where she was sitting. "I'm not going to stand all night, Gail."

"You should go home, but I know you won't."

"I see your cognitive abilities are improving."

Gail started to shift in the bed making room for her girlfriend. Every movement hurt, but she didn't care; the end result would be worth it. "Come. Sit."

Holly contemplated for a second if it was a good idea, but caved quickly. The desire to hold Gail was too tempting. She picked up the phone on the bed and handed it to her girlfriend to put on the nearby table before slipping off her shoes and climbing into the bed on her side, molding herself to her girlfriend's side and placing her head in the crook of Gail's neck. Gail immediately tilted her head to more fully connect.

Gail held the phone and started scanning through all the missed calls and texts. There were a ton of messages to go through and her eyes and head were hurting so she mostly just looked for anything important. She stopped when she got to a missed call and corresponding voicemail.

Holly felt Gail's body tense and she looked up a little to see her girlfriend's brow furrowed. "Gail, what is it?"

Gail quietly replied, "There's a voicemail from my Dad."

Holly wrapped an arm around the blonde careful to avoid her sensitive ribs. "You don't have to listen." Before she could even continue, Gail had already hit the button and turned on the speaker.

Holly had never heard Inspector Peck's voice before. It was actually somewhat gentle and reminded her of Steve's. There was nervousness behind it as well which surprised her.

'_Gail. Gail, I know you probably won't get this for a while, but I just wanted you to know… I was going to come to the hospital but figured you wouldn't want me there. I'm sorry. I'm checking up on you from here. You did good today. I'm sorry…I'm sorry, Gail. Maybe soon, maybe we can talk. I would really like to talk to you. You did good. Bye.'_

Gail closed her eyes and tried to calm her breathing. Letting tears roll down her cheek.

Holly pulled her closer. "It's a start, Gail."

The blonde nodded her head. "I'm not ready… I can't. This day has been too much."

"Shhh, it's okay. You don't have to respond right now. Just know he is thinking about you. He's reaching out."

Gail nodded again and continued to look through the phone registry. At first she scanned to see if she got a similar call from her mother, but there weren't any and she tried to not allow the disappointment to hurt too much. She skipped through unknown numbers and a few others until she got to a series of missed calls from Holly.

"I have a voicemail from you." Gail looked at the time of the calls and did the calculations. It would have been from some point when she was still at the park.

Holly lifted her head and looked at the phone. She jogged her memory thinking back through the long day. She then remembered leaving a frantic message for Gail to call her. She reached for the phone but Gail held it out away from her.

"Gail, it's nothing. Just delete it."

"Nope, not gonna happen."

Gail, come on, it was just a stupid call. I didn't know what was going on and was worried. Now I know. You can delete it."

Gail looked at her girlfriend. Usually she complied with Holly's requests, but the curiosity was too great. She hit the play button this time holding the phone to her ear. She immediately regretted the decision when she heard the panicked voice of her girlfriend pleading with the phone, her, God…whomever to have Gail pick up and tell her she was alright. She quietly deleted the message and placed the phone on the table before looking down at her girlfriend.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you went through that. I wish I could change it."

Holly just closed her eyes and allowed her hot, wet tears to dampen the shoulder of Gail's hospital gown.

"I'll quit. If you want…"

"No. Gail, you love your job. I love that you love your job. Today was just…"

Gail kissed the top of Holly's head. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"Gail, if that bomb had gone off…"

"It didn't."

"If it did, I can't imagine how many lives would have been lost in that park. What you did today was amazing. You're a hero."

"I was doing my job, Hol. It could have easily been Chris or Dov instead of me."

Holly sat up a little, turning to look Gail in the eye. She placed a hand on Gail's cheek. "Don't do that. Don't discount who you are or what you did. Sometimes it scares the hell out of me what you do, but then I think about all those people that went home tonight instead of this hospital or the morgue because you stopped a bomb from going off and I know that's the trade off. I hate it and I'm never going to stop worrying, but I understand and I love you for it."

Gail tilted her head and kissed the inside of Holly's hand and then tugged at her shirt to lie back down. She wrapped an arm around the brunette and held her close. "Sleep, Nerd. You're exhausted. We'll talk about this tomorrow."

Holly kissed Gail's neck. "I love you. I love you more than you will ever know."

Gail closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax into sleep. Before she could fall, she whispered, "Holly, I know. I've always known."


	23. Chapter 20

**A/N: I love Gail and Oliver together. They are my second favorite Gail pairing so this chapter is my homage to them. Thank you all for the reviews. They really do motivate me so uh…keep them coming. :) Disclaimer - I know nothing about how rookies become non-rookies and took a guess based on how Traci got her job. I did try and Google it though!**

Holly frantically bustled around her apartment picking up her computer and files throwing them all into her bag. She opened the closet door and peered in pushing coats and purses out of the way looking for the scarf she preferred with the suit she was wearing. She couldn't help but recall fondly the days of being able to find things in her own home in seconds. The days before the tornado known as Gail ripped through leaving an ever increasing wake of paraphernalia that didn't even come close to being organized. Not that she would trade her living situation for the world, but on mornings she needed to be in court and her scarf was barely peeking out from under three purses, a pair of boots and a jacket she had never actually seen her girlfriend wear, she wondered if maybe it was time for a spring cleaning. It was only the second day of Gail being home from the hospital so she would go easy on her, but there was going to be a list in her near future involving closets, boxes, labels and hangers.

Instead of moving the pile off her scarf, she tested her luck and just pulled on the material. Of course everything toppled onto the floor – it was that kind of morning. Not having time for anything else, she just kicked it back into the closet and shut the door quickly allowing the force to do the work. She screamed in the direction of the bedroom that she needed to leave only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Looking down at her watch, she realized just how late she was and cursed for the hundredth time that morning.

Holly opened the door and unceremoniously waved Oliver in before going over to the desk to finish packing her bag.

"Good morning to you too, Ottawa." Oliver the door behind him and stood near the entrance smiling at the anxious woman before him.

Holly looked over her shoulder, "Good morning. I'm sorry for being rude, Oliver, but thanks to your friend I'm going to be late for court."

Oliver raised his eyebrows and laughed. "'_My friend?'… _Would that be a skinny, sharp-tongued, blonde woman with a bump on her head and whose picture continues to be all over the news?"

Holly slung her bag over her shoulder and haphazardly wrapped the scarf around her neck. "The very same… _Your friend _insisted she wanted to take a bath this morning, even though I told her she wouldn't be able to get back out of the tub on her own. The stubborn woman that she is sat in the water until it went ice cold before relenting and calling for help. By then I was already dressed. Do you think it's possible to help someone out of a bathtub without ruining your dry-clean only suit?"

Oliver looked every which way but at Holly. He was pretty sure she wasn't actually looking for him to respond, so instead he just took one of the coffee cups from the carrier he was holding and held it out to her. "Here, I think you could use this."

She grabbed the cup and gave Oliver a smile as thanks. "I'm sorry. I really do love her even when I want to smack her upside the head. Which I recognize sounds really cruel considering she's already smacked it pretty hard this week. "

Oliver chuckled. "I find Gail tends to evoke that kind of response in a lot of people."

"What kind of response?" Both Oliver and Holly ignored the question as Gail shuffled into the room holding one hand protectively over her ribs and holding a brush and ponytail holder in the other. She silently handed Holly both and turned indicated she wanted her hair pulled up. She was still having trouble lifting her right arm high enough to do it on her own.

Oliver tried to hide his grin behind his coffee cup when Holly rolled her eyes but proceeded to help Gail anyway. He was pretty sure the eye roll wasn't about helping, but the way Gail silently demanded it. He almost choked on his coffee when he saw Gail wince slightly from Holly potentially tugging just a little tighter than needed on the hair. He took a few steps to be in Gail's line of sight and pulled out his phone holding it in front of her.

"Smile so I can get a picture of Toronto's newest celebrity for my kids." All Oliver got in response was a groan and a flipped-off finger. "Come on, Peck, I can't share that!"

Gail sighed, "It's been four days. Why hasn't there been a huge drug bust, hurricane, or something to distract those stupid reporters?"

Once Gail's name had been released, every news station began tripping over themselves trying to get an interview with her. It got even worse when one of them figured out she was in a relationship with Holly. The story of a gay police officer stopping a lunatic homophobe from killing LGBT supporters as they were protesting a hate rally was just too enticing to let go. Luckily Frank supported her request to remain private and so far wasn't pushing it - even though it would have likely been good press to the division.

Gail decided to change the subject quickly. She spotted the carrier in Oliver's hand. He eyes widened in delight. "Is that coffee? Hand it over now, Shaw!"

Holly took a few steps from behind Gail and stood in between her girlfriend and Oliver. "Sorry Gail, no caffeine. Remember."

Oliver interjected, "I got her decaf. It's all good."

"Decaf still has caffeine. Your doctor said no stimulants for a week. There's juice in the refrigerator."

Gail pouted then tilted her head and replied, "No stimulants, huh? Does that mean you'll be staying at a hotel for the rest of the week?"

Holly couldn't help but smile. Gail wasn't exactly the world's greatest patient, but there was just something about the woman that made her heart melt even when she was being difficult. "Haha, Gail. Listen, I need to go. I'll be back before dinner and I'll call you on breaks."

Gail briefly considered pouting again, but discarded the option quickly. She recognized how much Holly had done for her and how much she hated leaving today. She just nodded her head silently not even fighting the idea of getting a babysitter. If she wasn't going to be spending the day with Holly, Oliver at least was a decent alternative. Plus if she played her cards right, he would totally cave the proposition of ordering Chinese for lunch.

As Holly began walking out the door, she called out instructions to Oliver. As if she could read Gail's mind, she began, "Don't let her talk you into grease for lunch and please make sure she tries taking a nap. Her concussion has brought on insomnia. She can take ibuprofen every four hours. The bottle…"

"I'll be fine, Hol. Oliver will take good care of me – not as good as you of course, but we'll both survive. Go to court and put away the bad guy with your big words and fancy charts. Today's your day to save the mean streets of Toronto." Gail walked over and fixed the scarf around Holly's neck.

Holly leaned in and kissed her girlfriend good-bye. She then put her finger on Gail's nose and tapped it a few times. "It's starting to peel. There's aloe in the medicine cabinet. Try and be nice today."

Gail smiled and scrunched up her face. "I'm nice everyday."

"I see your memory is still a little sketchy. Good-bye." Holly winked and leaned in for one more kiss before walking out the door.

Gail shut the door and turned to face Oliver. "Give me the coffee, Shaw, and no one gets hurt." She then noticed a bag under the carrier. "Are those doughnuts? You brought coffee and doughnuts! This day is going to be great."

Oliver hesitated still fearing the wrath of Holly. He placed both the bag and coffee on the desk and then sat down on the sofa. "I'm just going to sit here and mind my business. What you take from your own home is not my concern."

Gail snagged the cup and bag and took a seat on the reclining chair near the sofa. She found it was the best place to sit without hurting her ribs too much. She took a long pull of the coffee and then frowned placing the cup on the end table.

"Dammit, tastes like guilt." She opened the bag and peered in taking in the smells of the chocolate covered doughnut. Holly's voice spouting off a random fact about there being caffeine in chocolate popped into her head. She huffed and threw the bag in Oliver's direction.

Oliver stood as he took a bite out of the doughnut. "Kitchen's that way? Do you want anything with that juice?"

Gail groaned in submission and mumbled, "There's a banana nut muffin on the counter." It didn't help that she could hear Oliver laughing all the way into the kitchen.

Oliver quickly returned with her breakfast still laughing. "You are so whipped."

"Am not!"

"Are too"

"Says the man wearing a charm bracelet!"

Oliver looked down at his left wrist as he took a seat again on the sofa. "It's not a charm bracelet, Peck. It's a…it's a protection man-band."

They both started laughing at the absurdity of his remark. "A 'protection man-band'? That's the best you got?"

"Hey, if Celery thinks it will keep me from getting hurt and it helps her sleep at night, then I'm all for it."

Gail suddenly went quiet and concentrated on eating her muffin. Oliver noticed the change, but didn't comment immediately. Instead he said, "How about this… In each other's presence, we both get to pretend that our lives are not completely run by the women we live with. Deal?"

Gail raised her glass. "Deal."

Gail was almost finished with her muffin when Oliver put down the paper he was reading and turned to her. "So, kid, you're not sleeping?"

"I have insomnia. The doctor said it was because of the concussion. Hey, at least my memory seems to be back."

Oliver put on his best fatherly concerned expression. "Are you sure it's just the concussion?"

"Actually I do. I think about it – the park and what happened, but I don't think it is keeping me up at night. I've spoken to my shrink a few times too. In an odd twist that is ever my life, I think being raised by Elaine Peck is helping me with all this."

Oliver's face turned to one of confusion. "I have no idea where you are going with this."

Gail tossed the muffin wrapper on the table vowing to pick it up before Holly got home. She knew how much her girlfriend hated the messes she left. She inhaled as deeply as she could, but ended up grabbing her side in discomfort. She closed her eyes for a second and readjusted her sitting position until she could get more comfortable.

"Sorry. I have this theory. My parents raised me to be a police officer. They trained me to think like one for as long as I can remember. They kind of skipped the child rearing sections on how to socialize with others and play nice, but they did prepare me for the idea that one day I may have to kill someone. I mean, I wasn't raised to be some robocop; not like that. But I've always known that there was a probability I would find myself in a situation like the park. I don't know. Maybe I am an ice queen, but it's not really bothering me like people thought it would."

Oliver took a moment to think about what Gail said. "That actually kind of makes sense."

"I do think about him – Andrew Bouchard. He was only twenty-four and his life is gone because he got so messed up in some crazy pseudo-religious idea of who was good and who was evil. It saddens me, but I don't regret what I did. I'm not losing sleep over it."

Oliver took another drink of his coffee. He thought for sure he saw something pass across Gail's face when he mentioned losing sleep. He knew she was telling the truth about the cause of the insomnia, so it must have been something else. He then realized what it was.

"How's Holly sleeping?"

Gail turned her gaze away from Oliver trying to decide how much she should share with him. She trusted him and maybe he would be the best person to understand – he knew what it was like to have the person you love not also be in law enforcement.

"She usually sleeps like a rock. She did in the hospital…or at least in between the hundred times they kept coming in to check my vitals and memory. Since we've been home though…she keeps tossing and turning and calling out my name in her sleep. I actually woke her up last night because I was worried, but she just thought I was bored from not sleeping and wanted company. I didn't tell her otherwise."

"Gail, you need to talk to her."

"I know. I just need to figure out the right way to approach it and how to help her. I know she worries, Oliver. We've talked about it before, but this is different. It's never interrupted her sleep. I don't want it to become a thing. When Ford…after…was Celery okay?"

Oliver thought back to those horrible first few days after Ford kidnapped him and Chloe and Sam were shot. Some days it seemed like years ago and others like yesterday. He had never shared with anyone, not even Sam, what Celery and he had gone through. For some reason though, sharing with Gail wasn't all that difficult.

"She almost left me. That first week everything was just crazy. Sam and Chloe were still bad; you and Chris ended up talking that guy down from killing himself; and there I was stuck at home not able to help anyone. I made it all about me and wasn't paying attention to what she was going through."

Gail looked at her friend perplexed, "That doesn't sound like you."

Oliver grinned. "I like to blame the concussion. By the end of the week, things weren't great between us. I was committed to going back to work early and she didn't agree but supported me anyway. I should have known then what a saint she was. Anyway, she tried giving me this charm bracelet…"

Gail interrupted, "Protection man-band."

They both shared a smile before Oliver continued. "Yes, protection man-band, and I mocked her for it. She just went off on me. I'm talking 'get ready to duck because the vase is being aimed at your head' going off."

"I've always liked that woman."

"Me too… At some point during her burst of rage and terror, I realized what an absolute idiot I had been. She wasn't mad, she was petrified. I'd forgotten the days when Zoe dealt with the same thing."

Gail put her elbow on the arm of the chair and rested her chin on her hand. "I've only been in relationships with other cops. I don't know how to deal with this. What do I do? What did you do?"

Oliver toed off his shoes and got more comfortable on the sofa. "Well the first thing I did was take the damn bracelet and promised to wear it like the man I am."

"Shaw, don't make me laugh. It hurts."

"Sorry. You know, it's hard. They fall in love with you knowing you're a cop, but the more they love you the scarier the reality of being with a cop becomes. I've offered to quit…"

"So have I." The admission by both of them didn't surprise the other. They recognized how much they each loved their significant others.

"It's a part of us, Gail. Some people do this job for a while and get burnt out or go find bigger things to stroke their ego, but you and me...we're cut from the same cloth. Being a police officer, the 15th, it's in our blood. And I'm not talking about the Peck family whatever. You cut out that part of us, you cut out a piece of our soul. Celery and Holly recognize that. I bet Holly told you that."

"She did. And Celery?

"Same. It doesn't make it easier though. The long nights, the worrying…the deciding if you want to have children that can lose a parent at a young age on some random Tuesday. You just have to keep talking to each other. Keep reminding her that you won't take unnecessary risks and you'll do everything you can to come home after every shift."

"How do I get her to sleep soundly again?" Gail then grinned mischievously, "I'm not allowed physical activity for another week so my first option is out."

Oliver laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, that's always a good one to fall back on. Start by talking to her. You said she it's not waking her up so she may not even know how much she's tossing and turning. It's only been a few days. Her talking about it more may be enough. There's also a group she can join."

"That support group they post about on the bulletin board?"

"Yeah, Celery goes sometimes. She says it's helpful. I'm sure she would be happy to go with Holly some evening."

The thought of Holly needing to go to a support group to deal with being in a relationship with her upset her, but Gail recognized the good it may do. "Thanks, Oliver, you're good stuff you know that."

"Thanks Peck. You're not so bad yourself. It's an honor to get to spend the day with such a high-profile celebrity." Oliver took out his phone and snapped another picture of Gail as she scowled. He reviewed the shot. "Oh yeah, that's a keeper."

"THAT is not something I want to talk about. I hate reporters. Do you know one actually came to my home yesterday? He should count his blessings my gun is still sitting at the station. Or at least I think it is? I actually have no idea where my gun is."

"Frank has it. He's getting a lot of pressure from HQ to get you to do an interview. They think it would be good press."

The mention of headquarters made her think about her parents. She wondered if they were somehow involved. It seemed like something her mother would want her to do which made Gail laugh. The very thing that made her mother disown her was now being put front and center on every television station in the city and considered good press. Her father was a little more of a grey area. She had worked up the courage to call him the day before and their conversation, while short and stilted, actually went better than she could have hoped. He apologized for not supporting her and asked her if she would be willing to meet him for breakfast that weekend. She quietly began to cry when he asked her to bring Holly and found herself saying yes before she could second guess the decision.

Gail heard Oliver snapping his figures in her direction. She must have been lost in thought longer than she realized. "Oliver, do you really think it is in anyone's best interest to put me and my mouth on camera? I have learned that some people don't find my particular brand of humor all that amusing. How will that be good press?"

"You make a very valid point, although I have actually witnessed you be very professional."

"…When some moron is chucking questions at me about my personal life and putting a bullet in between some nutjob's eyes? You think I'd be able to control my remarks then? No amount of therapy is going to make that situation go well, Shaw. None. I'm doing everyone a favor sitting in this apartment minding my own business."

The image of Gail going full-on ice queen in front of some tongue-tied reporter was equally amusing and terrifying to Oliver. He had no choice but agree it wasn't the best idea. "Alright, I'll tell Frank you're still not game."

"They outed me on television, Oliver. First they released my name about the shooting making it sound like I was some kind of hero and then they begin talking about my relationship. Who I live with and love is none of their damn business. Now the LGBT community wants to throw some kind of party in my honor. You should hear the messages I'm getting. I don't want any of this."

"I didn't think you hid…"

"I don't. I'm not hiding my relationship or who I am. It's not that. Holly is the best part of who I am; I would never hide that. I just don't like it being used for ratings. We're not the made-for-TV movie of the week."

Oliver just nodded his head in understanding. "There is something you won't be able to get out of Gail."

Gail rolled her eyes, "What?"

"I spoke with Frank yesterday. He'll probably yell at me for telling you before him, but I think you may need time to practice your reaction. You are going to receive commendation at the next leadership meeting in two weeks."

Gail just dropped her head onto the arm of the chair discarding the pain it caused to her side.

Oliver put his feet up on the coffee table and his hands folded behind his head. "You know, must normal people would be doing cartwheels if they were going to get a medal, a few pins for their uniform and their entire workforce clapping for them. You act like its punishment."

Gail spoke into the leather of the chair, "Who said I was normal?"

"It's one day, Peck. It's good for your resume. Not that you need it. I heard you've been shortlisted on almost every list."

What he said wasn't news to her, just the fact that he knew it. Frank had stopped by to see her the day before and they spoke briefly about her career progression. With her name making the news, he was getting calls asking what her intentions were. The special units and division heads had begun their discussions of rookie matriculation into their departments and some people were being shortlisted for assignments. Technically you could request a position anywhere in the police department, but if you weren't already on their list, it was highly unlikely you would make the cut. Frank told her she had made the list for sex crimes and homicide before the shooting and almost all the rest added her name after. He also offered, while it wasn't quite as glamorous, she could also stay in uniform and continue to work at the 15th.

Gail lifted her head and glared at Oliver. "When did you become such a gossiping teenager?"

"I like to keep up with my rookies. You all are going to have to make your decisions soon so I thought I would look into things and see if I could help advise."

"You mean snoop."

"I may have ulterior motives." Oliver began tapping his fingers on his leg nervously.

Gail picked up the change in Oliver's mannerisms. "Spill it, Shaw. What are you talking about?"

Oliver slid a hand through his hair. "I spoke with Frank about applying for Staff Sergeant the next time there is an opening."

Gail grinned widely. "Sergeant Shaw! Man of the white shirts! Riding the desk! The streets need you, Oliver. What will we all do? Think of the new rookies."

"You know how we were talking about our girlfriends being so worried about us. Well I think it may be time I spend a little less time on the streets and a little more at home with my kids and Celery. It's not quitting…"

"No. No it isn't." Gail softened her features to let Oliver know she was serious. "I think it's honorable. You're a good dad and Celery is a lucky woman."

"Thanks. There's a little catch though. I've spent a little too much time training you and your brat pack and not enough time making collars."

Gail looked puzzled. "What are you talking about? You're a great cop. Everyone knows that."

"My numbers on paper aren't as good as they need to be. I need to spend a year or so going after the big guns."

This was something Gail actually knew something about. Her mother had instilled in her long ago how important it was to get the arrests and make the numbers. To become a white shirt, it was all about the numbers.

"Okay, how can I help? Andy, Chris, Dov…all of us…you know we'll help you."

It warmed Oliver's heart to know the rookies he trained were all turning out to be such fine people and officers. He had no doubt any one of them would bend over backwards to help him. In this case, though, he just needed the one he was sitting across from.

"I have a plan. And I'm hoping you could help me with it. Don't answer now. I don't want to be accused of getting you to agree to something concussed. I'll never hear the end of it. Frank's on board with the idea too."

Gail couldn't help be a little skeptical. She had no idea what Oliver was going to say. She just looked at him incredulously waiting for him to continue.

"I'm going to start spending less time as a T.O and more time working on cases with the detectives. Thing is, I am going to need a partner. I know you've got a lot of opportunities, but I'm throwing my name in the hat too. It's another year, maybe two, in uniform which isn't…"

"You want me to be your partner? Permanently?" Gail sat up straighter trying to let Oliver's offer sink in.

"Yes."

"Did Dov already say no?"

Oliver put his head in his hands for a second. Sometimes it really did surprise him how someone so outwardly confidant, a Peck nonetheless, could be so unbelievably vulnerable about her own self-worth. "Gail, I'm asking you and you alone. I think we make a great team and I think we could learn off each other and challenge one another. Plus we share a love of junk food. That alone is sacred in any partnership."

Gail stood up and started pacing. "Wow, Uh… Thanks. I think we make a great team too. I…"

"Don't answer right now. Just think about it. If you say no, that's perfectly fine. I have some other options I can look into but you're my first."

Gail nodded her head and informed Oliver she was going to take that nap Holly had requested she take. She had a lot to think about and just needed some time to process.

Hours later, after three board games, lunch (not Chinese or grease) and four check-in calls from Holly, Gail said her good-byes to Oliver thanking him for spending the day with her. He needed to get to his youngest daughter's soccer game and wasn't able to stick around until Holly got back from court. Gail didn't mind. She had about an hour to herself and was going to enjoy it and think about everything discussed that day. As she went to curl up on the sofa, a soft knock on the door interrupted her. Her best guess was that it was Oliver coming back having forgotten something. She looked around the apartment as she walked to the door to see if she spotted his keys or phone.

She didn't see anything and looked into the peephole expected to see Oliver waving back at her. Who she did see almost knocked her over in surprise. She took a step back and paused trying to decide what to do. She swallowed hard and allowed her instincts to take over opening the door before she could lose her nerve.

Gail stood face-to-face with the woman she hadn't seen in six months. The woman that almost wrecked everything she held precious to her including the love of her life. Still this was her mother standing before her and for that she would get a few minutes to say whatever she came to say. Whatever it was, Gail wasn't going to make it easy.

"Hello, Elaine."


	24. Chapter 21

"Hello, Gail."

Gail stood at the doorway taking in the sight of her mother standing across from her. It didn't surprise her in the least that Elaine knew where she lived; still it was strange to see her in-person after a half-year of zero contact. It was as if a part of her forgot that this woman was walking around the streets of Toronto somewhere carrying on with her life. Her mother looked a bit older than she recalled – a few more lines on her face and a little more roundedness to her shoulders. Gail tried to think back to the last time she saw her out of uniform, like she was now, and couldn't remember – it must have been when she was still living at home.

She tried to pinpoint which one of the numerous reasons her mother could be standing at her front door in order to prepare herself. The option that immediately shot to the top of the list was Elaine decided to stop by to push her in the direction of her choosing with regards to recent press and career opportunities. Gail didn't want to believe that, after all this time, it was the reason but she knew it likely was the case and steadied herself for the conversation.

"May I Come in?"

Gail briefly observed her mother's facial expression for any signs of battle. She had no intention of letting her into her home if this was going to be a standoff. This was Holly and her sanctuary and she wasn't going to disturb it with a shouting match. She looked for signs of her mother's typical arrogance and bravado but didn't see it. What she saw instead saw something more akin to defeat. It was disconcerting to see and very atypical of the woman who raised her with somewhat of an iron fist. Gail silently took a step back giving her mother access to the entrance and waved her hand in the direction of the living room letting her know she was welcome.

They both stood in uncomfortable silence for a minute before Elaine spoke, trying to break the ice.

"Nice place."

Gail looked around the room a bit as if she was viewing it for the first time. She shrugged her shoulders. "It's home."

Elaine's retort was out before she could stop it. "Well it's a lot better than where you used to live."

Gail just contorted her face and slightly shook her head letting her mother know that was the last snide remark she was going to take. "What do you want, Elaine?"

Elaine tried not to let her face show how much hearing her daughter call her Elaine was affecting her. She took a step back and quietly took a moment to collect her thoughts. As she did, she observed the space she was standing in looking for signs of her daughter. The furniture was well-appointed but comfortable – dark woods mixed with soft leather and splashes of color letting whoever walked-in know there was a feminine touch to the home. There was a desk and large bookcase lined up on one wall near the entrance, to what she assumed, was the kitchen. Everything was fairly neat and organized, but lived in. It really did feel like a home – something Elaine had trouble saying about her own house at the moment.

Before she turned back to her daughter, she spotted out of the corner of her eye an old woven blanket hanging over the back of the sofa. She immediately recognized it as the one she had painstakingly crocheted when Gail was young. Elaine's mother, the perfect wife and mother she was, had demanded Elaine learn how to be a better housewife and had her sit through session after session of cooking, sewing and event planning lessons. She hated practically every second of it; spending most of the time trying to get out of it and back into uniform. The one thing she had almost enjoyed though was crocheting. She liked how much it improved her dexterity and actually found it quite calming. It wasn't long before she gave it up to get back to trying to advance in the department, but before she did she had managed to finish that one blanket for Gail. Time and distraction had made her forget how much her daughter used to walk around wearing that thing around her shoulders like a cape. She hadn't seen it in years and had no idea her daughter must have taken it from the house at some point. It gave Elaine a sense of comfort and hope seeing it there - maybe Gail hadn't fully divested her yet from her life…maybe she had some hope too.

Elaine had no idea where to begin. She wasn't used to being in a position of vulnerability and she certainly wasn't used to gauging her talking points to the expected reaction of her daughter. She looked at Gail standing in front of her with an expression of mixed confusion and anticipation as she readied herself to either fight or take flight and Elaine knew she wasn't going to get much leeway in getting this right. Gail's right arm was bent; lying over her abdomen protectively. Maybe that could be a starting point…

"How are you feeling?" Elaine asked as she pointed in the direction of Gail's ribs.

Gail studied her mother. She immediately got the sense that Elaine wasn't there looking for an argument, but that didn't mean one wasn't going to ensue. She was going to keep her answers short and to the point for the time being until she had a better idea as to the purpose of the visit.

"I'll survive."

Elaine cast her eyes downward and twisted her hands slightly. Gail wasn't going to make this easy and she didn't blame her - she would have done the same. She looked her daughter in the eye and curled her lips into a soft smile. "Of course you will; you're a 'Peck.' We're survivors."

There was something about hearing her mother refer to her as 'a Peck' that simultaneously made her heart soar and cause her head to shout in anger. Six-months ago her mother denied her allowance to use her family name in such a prideful way and now she was somehow granting it back like a magician waving a wand for the rabbit to reappear. A part of wanted to grab on and accept it like the compliment she wanted to believe it to be, while the other part wanted to lash out and scream that this woman did not have the right to give and take as she pleased. Elaine must have noticed the conflicted emotions cross her face because she began to backtrack slightly.

"What I meant to say was you're strong, Gail. You remind me of your father when he was a rookie." Elaine smiled at the memory of the man she had fallen in love with all those years ago. Gail had inherited his eyes - they had a way of peering into your soul pouring out emotion that the rest of their body wouldn't dare convey. At times it unnerved Elaine, but right now she allowed the quiet and ever-so-slight ray of optimism shining from Gail's deep blue eyes to fuel her. "I've been following your work… You've done really well for yourself, Gail."

Gail again shrugged her shoulders. "I like what I do and I have a lot of support." She couldn't stop herself allowing the word 'support' to take on an edgy tone. She wasn't entirely ready to play nice and make whatever Elaine was trying to do easy.

Elaine recognized the tone for what it was. Instead of her usual quick hit back or chastise of Gail's manners, she nodded her head and accepted the remark. She glanced around the apartment again ensuring Gail knew the full meaning of her next sentence. "Yes. It appears you do."

Gail granted her mother a small smile in return and decided to fully answer the original question. "Two of my ribs are cracked and I have a grade three concussion. I'll be out for seven to ten days… I go back to the doctor tomorrow and I'm hoping he says it's closer to the seven day mark. I may go stir crazy otherwise."

"When you were three I got thrown off a first floor fire exit by some perp. I vaguely remember what a grade three concussion feels like. I definitely remember what a tiny toddler, with more energy than I knew such a little body could contain, jumping on my bed at six am when you have a nausea-inducing thunderous headache feels like." The two-women shared a brief smile easing the tension in the room before Elaine continued. "Take your time, Gail. The job will still be there."

Gail had no idea how to process the last statement. It was so anti-Elaine. Her mother was playing by a different set of rules this evening and it was throwing her off. Instead of easing her natural paranoia about her mother's intentions, it just stoked it.

"Yea, it will. There are only so many board games you can play at home though."

Elaine nodded her head in agreement. This wasn't going as planned, not that she really planned it. Months ago she had asked her assistant to make sure any changes her children's work was brought to her attention. Steve barely spoke to her and Elaine had seen to it Gail never did, so it was the only avenue she had to keep up with their lives. A few weeks ago she had a copy of a change of address request along with a few other documents sitting on her desk when she arrived in the morning. Gail apparently had switched apartments and changed her next of kin on her emergency form and insurance beneficiary to a Holly Stewart. She remembered the name from their arguments months ago – she remembered everything from that argument – and knew her daughter was now completely moving on. Since then, she had driven by her daughter's new apartment building a number of times and this evening finally worked up the courage to go in. Now she had no idea what to do or say. She was able to find common ground in discussing Gail's health, maybe she could try her luck at something else she knew well.

"What you did in the park. It was really good police work, Gail. Your father and I are proud."

Gail shuffled her feet a little looking down at them as she said thanks.

"You always do that. Why? Why won't you accept praise when you've rightfully earned it?"

Gail looked up and into Elaine's eyes. "Years of waiting for the corresponding criticism, I guess."

Elaine couldn't help but get defensive. "You know I wasn't the tyrant your brother and you have made me out to be."

"No, but you were never in line for mother-of-the year either." Gail spat out not caring if it hurt the woman standing across from her. She could tell by the flinch in the red head's face it had its desired effect.

"I guess I deserved that. No criticism, Gail. You did good work and you're going to be commended for it. You'll have your pick of job opportunities…"

Gail heard the word 'job' and her hackles immediately shot up. This is why she thought her mother was here and she was being proven correct. She started to laugh. "It's all about career with you isn't it? That's all you've got? Six months of not speaking. Six months of me wondering if you had removed me from every family picture and then you come to MY HOME to chat about work. My job opportunities are none of your damn business!"

Elaine took a step back as if she physically felt the words hit her. She crossed her arms in defense. It wasn't in her nature to back away from a fight and she was doing everything she could to suppress the urge to fire back. It was shockingly difficult and reminded her of how many times she hadn't resisted in arguments with her daughter in the past. She took a deep cleansing breath.

"Gail, that's not why I came here. I know past experience would tell you otherwise, but I'm not here to discuss your career advancement. You have proven that you can make the best choices for youself."

Gail went to speak but caught herself closing her mouth before the words could come out. She needed to process what her mother just said – the last sentence was probably the nicest this she had ever said to her in her adult life. She stumbled for the words to reply but somehow landed on, "Do you want something to drink…or something?"

They both knew it was Gail's way of diffusing the situation and giving them each a corner to catch their breath and thoughts. Elaine nodded her head and replied, "Water, if you have it."

Gail huffed with a slight smile, "Pretty sure we have water." She turned and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed a glass and filled it with water, but didn't head back in. She instead leaned against the counter for a few minutes with her eyes closed allowing herself to find some sense of calm.

With Gail in the kitchen, Elaine took the opportunity to continue her scan of the room. She noticed a board above the desk filled with a collage of pictures and her natural curiosity took over. She walked over and leaned on the desk to get a better look. What she saw almost broke her. Playing out in front of her was her daughter's life – a life without her parents. Elaine tried to recall ever seeing Gail smile for her the way she was smiling in some of those pictures and she couldn't trace one memory. There were pictures of Gail and her girlfriend in ugly Christmas sweaters among who she assumed were Holly's family; them at a hockey game with Steve and his girlfriend and son – Holly had a huge grin on her face while the rest were pointed in mocked anger at her Senators jersey. There were random pictures of them kissing or laughing; a few with friends she either recognized as Gail's and one's she didn't that she assumed were Holly's; and one with Gail standing behind Traci's son with her arms wrapped around him both smiling and looking very much like family. Actually all the pictures looked like Gail's family and Elaine was once again reminded that she wasn't part of it.

"Holly's a big fan of pictures. I try to humor her." Gail had been silently watching her mother and decided to interrupt when she saw the older woman reach up and wipe a tear from her eye. She knew her mother well enough to know she would be embarrassed if found outright crying.

Any fight Gail had left in her vanished when she saw the tear. Gail had learned from her therapist and mostly Holly that sometimes you needed to just hold your hands up and relent. It wasn't weakness when it was the right thing to do. It wasn't surrendering when the outcome could give you back your parents and as much as she had hated what Elaine Peck had done all those months ago, she just wasn't ready to give up on her for good. Because at the end of the day, no matter how many fights you've had and how many hurtful things have been said, you can't help but yearn for the embrace of your mother. - the one that held you when you were sick and made you a blanket that still kept you warm on cold nights. Yes Elaine had been absent throughout a lot of Gail's life and their communications over the last few years were stilted at best finalized by an all-out war of words, but there were moments of kindness and love too. She just couldn't let go of the idea that maybe this was an opportunity to get that piece back.

Gail placed the glass of water on the desk in front of her mother and then leaned against the bookcase.

"Tell me why you're here. No more diversions."

Elaine accepted the drink gratefully taking some before she began. She knew this was the last chance she was going to get. "Last week my boss told me he was going to retire and I was going to get his job." Elaine noticed the eye-roll of her daughter. "Please, just hear me out, Gail. After he left my office, I went to pick up the phone to call someone to celebrate and I realized I didn't have anyone to call. Steve barely speaks to me and when he does it is on his terms. Your father and I live in the same house but…well…things haven't been great for a while. They haven't even been good and you…" Elaine took a deep breath. "What I did to you…the way I acted when I found out about you and Holly, it all just hit me at once."

Gail stood up a little straighter at her mother's mention of Holly. It was the first time she had acknowledged her girlfriend aloud and had even done so by name. Her eyes began to burn and threaten to shed the tears welling up inside her. She kept quiet though and allowed her mother to continue.

"I was getting everything I had worked for in my career and I realized it meant nothing if I had lost my family in the process. You're right; I have spent years putting my career in front of my family. I thought I was doing the right thing, I really did. I thought I was pushing you to be the best version of yourself, but I was wrong. I was so wrong and I'm sorry.

Then, the other day, my assistant walks in and starts telling me about the park. I had to learn from my assistant that my own daughter had been shot. I didn't get a call from Steve, your father or even Frank and I was still too damn proud and stubborn to call anyone myself. I spent hours sitting alone in my office praying that you were okay – praying that I could work up the courage and put aside my ego long enough to try and finally get this right. You're my only daughter, my baby, and I can't be this person to you anymore."

Gail knew this was probably the hardest conversation her mother had ever had. She could feel the walls around them both beginning to crumble and as much as it hurt, it also felt right and good. "What do you want from me? I can't be that person again. I can't be that daughter that is constantly trying to please you but never measures up. I can't go back to always trying to live up to a family legacy and I will not, ever, deny who I love and who I am."

"I don't want that, either." Elaine pointed to the pictures on the wall. "Gail, I want to know this woman. This woman who smiles and looks so happy and in love. I was taken by surprise about Holly and I reacted horribly. I won't pretend it was something I easily accepted, but I promise you I'm trying. I want to see you for you and not my version of you. And Gail, you don't need to live up the Peck family name because you've already surpassed it."

Gail leaned back against the bookcase and this time allowed the tears to fall. She put her left hand up to her forehead to shield her face. Never; never did she believe her mother would actually say those things to her. Before she could respond she heard the front door opening and Holly coming in from work. Her mother turned her head to see who entered at the same time she saw Holly taking in the scene before her. Gail recognized by the look on Holly's face what she must have concluded this was with Gail standing there crying against the bookcase and her mother no more than three feet from her. Holly's reaction proved her suspicions correct.

The brunette dropped her bag on the floor, clearly not caring where it landed, and walked over to Gail's side before giving Elaine a steeled look and stating, "Get out of our home. Get out right now!"

Gail first looked at her mother and almost cracked a smile at the wide-eyed shocked look on her face. No one ever spoke to Elaine Peck that way. She then put her hand on Holly's arm and rubbed it up and down trying to calm her girlfriend. The evil little voice inside her head started yelling to let Holly have at it for a few minutes, but she tampered it even though the display of Holly's protective side mixed that the growl of her words was a total turn on. She quickly wondered if she could come up with a situation that brought that out again that didn't involve her mother in the room, because continuing to have those thoughts right now would involve a lot more therapy.

"Hol, it's okay. Really; we're just talking."

Holly turned toward Gail, ignoring the other woman in the room. "You're crying. The last time that woman stopped by for a visit it nearly destroyed you and us."

Elaine quietly observed her daughter's interaction with her girlfriend. Mostly she was assessing this brunette woman that stood tall and fierce protecting her daughter from, well, her. Even though Holly had lowered her voice in her last comments, she knew it was still said loud enough for Elaine to hear. Gail's girlfriend wanted her to know just how much her daughter had been hurt. Elaine immediately regarded this woman with respect – something she rarely did on first or even tenth encounters with someone. She went to step into the conversation, but instead waited to see how her daughter would respond. She was surprised by the level of warmth Gail displayed toward the other woman. The Gail she knew wasn't usually someone who initiated displays of affection.

Gail took Holly's hand in her own and pulled it to her lips briefly kissing it before smiling and replying. "Hol, she came to make amends. It's okay. You can call off ETF and tell the snipers to stand down."

Holly cracked a small smile at the joke and searched Gail's eyes. Once she found in them confirmation that her girlfriend was, indeed, alright she turned back to Elaine.

"My apologies. I wasn't expecting…"

"No apologies needed. I understand." Elaine reached out her hand in Holly's direction. "I don't believe we've had the opportunity to be introduced. I'm Elaine Peck."

Holly let the comment sit on the tip of her tongue about why it was they hadn't been introduced when she felt Gail's squeeze her hand slightly. She released the hand of her girlfriend and shook Elaine's. "Holly Stewart, but I assume you already knew that."

Elaine smiled; she really did like this woman. If she was going to have the opportunity to build some kind of relationship with her daughter, Gail was probably going to give her a foot of rope on any given day before she hung herself. She was pretty sure Holly was going to give her about six inches. Scratch that, maybe two.

"Yes. Yes I did. I'm sorry for coming by unannounced. I am sure you had a long day at work. You're a forensic pathologist, correct? Impressive."

Holly may not have known Gail's mother more than a few minutes, but she knew Steve and certainly Gail well enough to know the Peck code of communication conduct. Not only was Gail's mother stating that she had done her homework on her daughter's girlfriend, but she was also conveying that she approved. She granted Elaine a half grin.

"Yes and thank you." Holly turned back to Gail. "I'm going to go change before starting dinner. You'll be okay?"

"We're fine. Oh, Oliver and I already made dinner. It's in the refrigerator waiting to be heated."

Holly furrowed her brow, "You and Oliver made dinner? Should I just go ahead and call in sick for tomorrow now?"

Gail did her best to look upset by the remark, but the grin gave her up. "Har har. Oliver put everything together; I was just in charge of cutting things and showing him where everything was. The cutting hurt my side so mostly I just sat there pointing."

Holly shrugged her shoulders. "Fine, I'll be courageous." Almost to prove how much she was, she leaned in and kissed Gail. "Thanks for making dinner."

Elaine caught the look in her daughter's eye and the coy grin that spread across her face. Everyone in the room knew what statement Holly was making with that kiss. It was a mix of 'you hurt her and I will drop you like a rag' combined with 'I love this woman more than you can even comprehend.' She couldn't help but smile too. Even Elaine Peck knew when she was outgunned.

Elaine finally spoke up. "I should be going. I don't want to interrupt your dinner. It was a pleasure to meet you, Holly." Holly nodded and walked off into the bedroom leaving Elaine alone again with her daughter.

"She hates me."

Gail smiled. "Holly doesn't hate anyone - not even you. You'll need to earn her trust though."

Elaine took a step closer to her daughter. "And you, Gail? Do you hate me?"

Gail studied her mother's demeanor. She recognized Elaine's question was coming from a place of honesty and not manipulation. "No. I don't hate you either. I've wanted to. It would have been a hell of a lot easier if I did, but I don't. I meant it though; I can't go back. I'm not that person anymore."

"I know. I have a lot of work to do to get my family back. Maybe we can start with dinner sometime."

Gail paused for a second and thought about what she wanted out of all this. "I spoke with Dad the other day. He wanted to have breakfast with Holly and me this weekend. You should come."

Elaine nodded and blinked her eyes rapidly to stop her tears. "I'll talk to your father. I'd like that. I'd really like that." She then walked over to the front door and turned back to her daughter before opening it.

"Thank you, Gail. Thank you for giving me a second chance. I know I didn't deserve it."

"Maybe you don't, I don't know. What I know is you apologized and that's all I've wanted these past few months. It may take time, but we'll figure out the rest."

"Good night, Gail."

"Good night, Mom."

Gail noticed the tear run down her mother's cheek before she turned and walked out of the apartment. She closed her eyes and allowed her own tears to silently fall and waited – waited for the warm embrace she knew would envelop her. She barely had to wait a second when she felt arms wrap around from behind and pull her in. She tilted her head back allowing Holly's kisses running from her shoulder to her hairline to give her solace.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."


	25. Chapter 22

Holly walked into the bedroom rubbing lotion onto her arms, not fully paying attention to her surroundings until she reached the edge of her side of the bed. She paused, squinting her eyes, and looked back and forth from her side to Gail's. She tilted her head to the side and gave her girlfriend a sympathetic look. "Gail, honey, have you forgotten what side of the bed you sleep on?"

Gail couldn't quite tell if Holly was seriously asking and for a second it made her wonder as well – having a concussion was playing tricks with her head. She saw the slightly worried look on Holly face, again not sure if it was real or for play, and it reminded her why she laid there in the first place. It had been a long day and she was exhausted, but she really wanted to discuss Holly's nightmares. She had held off during dinner - still processing her mother's visit - and was content to curl-up on the sofa with Holly watching a movie afterwards, but now she knew this couldn't wait. Still she wanted to ease into the conversation, and bantering with her girlfriend was always a good way to start.

"No. I know perfectly well where I sleep. I get to hang off those three inches over there while you 'starfish' the rest of the bed."

Holly laughed and just nodded her head in confirmation, accepting the truth of the statement. In her defense usually some part of her - whether it be a linked hand or a hooked foot - was hanging onto Gail while they slept insuring she didn't actually fall off the bed. Based on their personalities, one would think Gail would take over the bed, but somehow that wasn't the way it worked out. They always started wrapped in each other's arms and typically even woke up that way, but Holly knew from Gail's many comments on the matter that at some point in the night she took over the bed. She had to take Gail's word for it because once she closed her eyes, she was out like a light until morning.

"Okay, so why are you on my side of the bed?" She then put her knee on the bed and gave that smug smirk she knew always made Gail smile and engage in rounds of banter. "Don't think you're going to try and get me to break doctor's orders. Even you, Officer Peck, can go an entire week without sex. If this is some new idea of yours to get me to cave into temptation it isn't going to work?"

Gail bit her lip trying to hide her grin and pointed her finger knowingly at her girlfriend. "A: I don't need new ideas, _honey._ B: It should be noted the doctor never actually said the word 'sex.' What he said was that I should refrain from physical activity. And C: It's you that couldn't go a week, not me. You must be climbing the walls over there with me looking so good lying here on your side of the bed."

Holly crawled onto the bed, and over Gail, hovering above her on hands and feet but not actually touching an inch of her girlfriend's body. She bent down, making sure she didn't put any of her weight onto Gail, and traced her tongue over Gail's lips then huskily whispered in her ear, "What we do in this bed, not to mention other places around this home, would most certainly be classified as physical." She lightly bit the lobe of Gail's ear and kissed a particularly sensitive spot on her neck before lifting her head to look at the blonde. The way Gail's eyes had clouded to a stormy blue aroused her to no end, but she tampered it. Instead she smirked, "And if that's a challenge, this could get very interesting, very quick."

Gail lifted her head off the pillow and grabbed Holly's shirt to pull her down and capture her in a kiss. Holly was taken too much by surprise to stop her and fell forward. The pleasure of the kiss only lasted a second before the pain from the weight on her ribs became too overwhelming. Gail couldn't stop herself from crying out.

"Ahh…sonnofabitch!"

Cats jumped slower than the way Holly did off Gail and onto the other side of the bed. She stayed close though laying on her side facing the blonde. "Oh god, Gail, are you okay? I can't believe….Dammit!"

Gail grabbed the duvet and pressed it over her face, biting at the material to keep from screaming. She could hear Holly telling her to take deep breaths, which personally sounded like the worst idea ever, but did so nonetheless and found it actually helped. After a few minutes she removed the blanket but kept her eyes closed continuing to concentrate on her breathing as the pain reached tolerable levels.

"Gail, I'm so sorry. We should go to the emergency room and get x-rays. I may have…"

"You did nothing. Holly, you did nothing. I'm okay; the pain is gone." They both knew the last comment was a bit of an exaggeration for Holly's benefit, but Holly let her have it.

"That was stupid. I could've really hurt you. Do you know easy it would be for your ribs to fully break? If that happened, it could…"

Gail reached over and put her hand on Holly's chest. "Stop. I'm not going to break. I shouldn't have pulled you down like that. I was being careless, but it's okay. I'm fine."

Holly rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. No matter how hard she tried to lift it, the stress of the week was weighing heavily on her and threatening to bury her.

Gail stared at her girlfriend watching the dark emotions circle above like falcons and pull her into whatever dark abyss she was allowing herself to fall. It had been months into their relationship before Gail really allowed herself to recognize how much she supported Holly. Mostly she believed it was the other way around and never saw herself as someone who could say the right words or push someone in the right direction. That was for other people – people more emotionally stable and open. She still didn't always get it right, but now she always tried knowing that was Holly wanted and what she wanted as well. She knew she couldn't go another night watching the woman she so desperately loves toss and turn in torment brought on by worry about her. She had to do something.

"Hey. Hol. Holly, look at me," she said softy. Her body constricted at seeing a tear silently fall down Holly's cheek as she shook her head no.

Gail took Holly's hand in her own placing them both on Gail's abdomen. She lifted her shirt and pushed Holly's hand up so it was lying on top of her cracked ribs, underneath her right breast, and kept her own hand above to keep Holly's in place.

"Do you feel that? It's not broken. Holly, I'm healing. I didn't die and I'm not going to break. I'm going to heal, but I need you to heal with me. Please look at me. Please let me help you."

Holly slowly turned on her side, keeping her hand under Gail's. She looked under her hand and saw the technicolor array of blues, green, and purples coloring the pale skin. She had seen it before, but had regarded it like a doctor would and not a significant other. She closed her eyes again and her lips trembled as she was reminded of the gut-wrenching fear she had felt in those minutes when she didn't know what had happened to the love of her life. In those minutes when both of their lives hung in the balance of life or death when Holly knew, without doubt, that a large part of her would have died on that field along with Gail.

Holly removed her hand and leaned over to lightly kiss the bruised skin allowing some of her tears to fall as if they could somehow fix the fractured bones underneath. She felt Gail's chest constrict as she took in a sharp breath and for a moment Holly thought she had hurt her. When she felt Gail's fingers dance through her hair she knew she hadn't. They had both needed this – needed this moment.

Gail trailed her fingers out of Holly's hair and down her cheek, lifting her chin away from her chest and up so Holly would lie back on her side. She pushed her shirt down and carefully turned on her right side so they could fully face one another. She wiped the wet tears off Holly's cheek with her thumb and then pushed her hair back behind her ear before resting her hand on Holly's arm.

"I'm lying on this side of the bed because the doctor told me I was supposed to sleep on my right side, which I have to say seems counter-intuitive to me but whatever. See, the last two nights I have laid in this bed awake from insomnia listening to you toss and turn and call out my name – and not in the way I typically prefer." Gail stopped and returned the brief grin Holly gave her and ran a finger down her cheek crossing the smiling lips before continuing. "I didn't wake you last night because I was bored. I woke you because I was worried about you. You were crying in your sleep."

Holly averted her eyes slightly and took in what Gail was saying. She had no recollection of this but knew Gail wouldn't make it up. "I don't remember…"

"I know. You haven't woken up. I wasn't facing you and I couldn't reach out and comfort you and that really bothered me so tonight I'm on your side of the bed so I can be here for you. Holly, I may have been the one thrown backwards from a bullet hitting my vest, but it hit us both. I heard your voicemail and I hear your cries at night. Talk to me. Please let me help you."

Holly bit her lip and reached up to take Gails' hand in her own. She quickly shook her head trying to push away all the fear and worry, but couldn't. She needed to let Gail help her.

"I was just so scared. I didn't know what was happening. RJ called me from the park and was giving me these little bits of information. I could hear the yelling and running in the background and then he told me a female police officer was involved in the shooting and I just lost it. I didn't know what to do or where to go."

"I wish I could change this part of my job. I wish I could take away that fear and I am sorry, so unbelievably sorry, you had to go through that. Holly, you have to know that you are more important than my job and I will leave it in a heartbeat, or happily go ride some desk for the next forty years, if it means you get to sleep soundly."

"I know and you have no idea how much that means to me. When we've talked about it before I've said I didn't want that and I still don't. I fell in love with you knowing who you are. Hell, the first time you kissed me was on a day you were shot at and I stayed then and I will always stay. Sometimes though the worry gets the best of me."

"I can't promise you this will never happen again and I can't promise that the next time it won't be worse. What I can promise you is that I will do everything, and I mean everything, in my power to make sure I walk through that door every single day. I will wear my vest into the shower if it eases your worry even a little."

Holly laughed through her tears and leaned forward giving Gail a quick peck on the lips. "That would really hamper our shower time…I love our shower time."

"Back away, Stewart, or all doctor's orders are getting thrown out the window. I'll see to it you sleep like a baby tonight out of pure exhaustion."

"I've got a few ideas of my own on how to cure your insomnia, Peck, but I think what happened a few minutes ago was enough to keep me in the nunnery for at least the next week if not two."

Gail scrunched her face in mock anger, "Oh, just shut your mouth right now about two weeks. Besides the nunnery would totally kick you out after three days. Maybe one if you ever showed them that thing you do with your tongue and nose when you…summmffff…"

Holly had put her hand over Gail's mouth stopping her from talking. "Cop, we really need to stop this now or I'm about to get extremely creative in how I touch you without ever touching you or you are going to get quite the show when I just reach under my side of this blanket and…"

This time it was Holly's mouth that was covered, but by Gail's mouth and not her hand. They laid there for quite a few minutes just kissing and casually making out both not letting anything get too out of control before Gail pulled back.

"We are so not lasting the rest of the week."

Holly tilted her head lost in thought before responding, "It's not necessarily the physical part…we could easily work that out." She then gave Gail a wicked smile, "It's the earth-shattering orgasms I give you that would probably hurt your ribs and head."

Gail just laughed. "You know, I can't even respond to that."

"Because it's true."

"Sure it is. I love you, you know that? …You geeky sex goddess."

Holly grinned, "Yea, I know. I love you too, Gail Peck, _officer of the law_."

Gail got serious again, "Hol, I think maybe you should talk to someone about what you're going through - someone who understands more than I can."

Holly knew how difficult it was for Gail to start going to therapy so she was careful to not dismiss the idea for fear it would offend her girlfriend. "Maybe I will. It's only been a few days. Talking with you about this…it helps. I just need some time."

"I know. I won't push, but I don't want you to have to do this alone either. You have me - you'll always have me - but some of this I won't be able to understand. I'll see it like a cop and that's not what you need. Look, I'm not saying you need to do a permanent rotation on my shrink's couch. That's only reserved for the lunatics like me. I'm just saying that there are people that go through what you do and it may be helpful to talk to them. Celery goes to a support group sometimes that is sponsored by the department. It's for the families of officers and meets every few weeks. Just think about it, okay?"

Holly thought about Gail's offer. It actually didn't sound like a bad idea. She prided herself on being strong and independent – on being a rock in their relationship, but she knew is she didn't get this worry reined in it would eat at her until it became a problem. She nodded her head against the pillow, "Okay, I'll call Celery and look into it."

"Thank you.

"So you and Oliver spent all day talking about me? Should I be worried or honored?"

"We didn't spend _all day…_ We talked about a lot of things."

Gail and Holly both relaxed into their pillows, still facing each other, knowing that the more difficult discussions were over for now. Gail's leg naturally came forward and intermingled with Holly's. This is what they did. Every night they would lie close, almost nose-to-nose and talk about their day. It was their favorite time.

"Oh, yeah, what else did you two do to stay entertained? I saw the board games stacked on the table."

"Shaw's not as good as you. I kicked his ass."

"I bet you did."

"We did have one interesting chat that I need to talk to you about." Gail tapped Holly's hip a little in nervousness. After all they discussed, it probably wasn't the best time, but it was on her mind and she wanted to share.

Holly regarded the change in her girlfriend's expression and tried to figure out what Oliver may have said. She was lost. "Okay, what's going on."

"Oliver talked to Frank about making some changes in his career. He wants to apply to the next open staff sergeant position."

Holly smiled, still a bit confused. "That's great. Not sure how it involves us though."

"Well, he needs to get his numbers up. He made some kind of deal with Frank to do less training and a little more, I don't know, arresting. He wants me to join him."

"I'm not sure I know what that means."

"He asked me to be his partner for the next year or two. Stay in the 15th as an officer."

Holly took a second to think through what Gail was talking about. Whether Gail was in uniform or not didn't really change her level of worry, so that wasn't really an issue. She just wanted to make sure Gail made a decision best for her and not Oliver, her mother or anyone else.

"Well, you want to stay in the 15th. Of the options we've discussed, that has always been consistent. You've been leaning toward homicide though. Does this change that?"

Gail also took a moment to ponder the question. "I work well with Callaghan. I assume that's why he put me on his list, but I don't know… I feel like I still have a lot to learn. These last few years have had their ups and downs and I've made mistakes."

"You've also done incredible work, Gail. Don't forget that."

Gail lifted their linked hands and kissed Holly's before setting them both down in between them. "Thank you. I just…I think I would be a better detective someday if took the time now to learn more as an officer. Plus, it's Oliver. I can't imagine a better partner."

"Sounds like you know what you want to do."

"If staying in uniform…"

"No. Gail, do it. I'm here. I'll worry, but you could be a baker and I would worry the ovens would explode. We'll work through it."

Gail chuckled, "I never thought, five years ago, I would actually be choosing to stay a beat cop."

Holly grinned, "And did you think five years ago you would by lying in bed with a woman?"

Gail's head bent back in laughter, "Nah, I guess I'm just full of surprises, aren't I? You know I wouldn't change any of it though. I wish some of it had been easier with a lot less tears and drunken nights, but if it meant getting here, with you, then I would do it all over again. I love it here, with you..." Gail winked at Holly, "...my woman."

Holly lovingly looked into the blue eyes staring back at her. The clouds had shifted and moonlight was peeking through the curtains casting a soft light over Gail's face. In all the time she had known and loved the woman next to her, she couldn't recall ever seeing her quite this beautiful. It almost took her breath away. Tonight she was holding the hand of a woman that had found peace; had found a future in their love and Holly couldn't imagine spending even a second of her life not connected to this maddening, funny, smart, beautiful woman that challenged, mystified and filled her with more love and passion than she ever though possible. Before she could even process what she was saying the words were out.

"Marry me?"

Gail squeezed Holly's hand and scanned her face briefly for any signs of regret or surprise in the question she just asked. What she saw instead was hope. She didn't need time to think about her response. It was the easiest thing she had ever answered.

"Yes."

"Yes?" Despite questioning Gail, Holly was already forming a huge grin.

"Are you questioning my response? Should I have not said that? I can take it back!" Gail sounded exasperated but her grin equaling Holly's gave her away.

"Don't you dare!"

"Maybe I will. Maybe I'll ask you instead."

Holly just laughed. "I asked you first. You'll never get that prize, Cop."

Gail leaned forward and kissed Holly soundly. "You are the prize, Nerd."

"I love you. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love another person. Thank you for agreeing to be my wife. I can't wait to be yours."

Gail mouthed 'ditto' back and closed her eyes allowing the tears to fall. A year ago she was lost, waking up in the middle of the night to nightmares of being held captive in a cold, dark place, and trying to make a relationship work on the idea of love instead of the actuality of it. Tonight she was lying in bed next to a woman that brought her more joy than she had known was possible. Her family was trying to repair itself; her friends were all finding their way and doing it together; she had a clear vision for her job and most importantly she had a future waiting for her with Holly – with her fiancé.

There would be bad days – arguments and moments when the job caused more sleepless nights. There would be extraordinary days too – weddings and children; holidays and making love under the stars and moonlight. For every day there would another and that is why Gail knew it would be so easy to say yes. Because a day spent with Holly would always get to end holding each other, talking about their day, and kissing one another good night and that made it all worth it.

Good night, Holly and Gail.

**A/N: I hate to say this, I really do, but this story is now complete. I know there is more to write in this world, but I haven't found all the words yet and I don't want to leave anyone hanging, so I am completing it. Maybe in a while I will unlock this part of my imagination again and take you all on another journey, but not today. I cannot thank you enough for joining me on this one. I appreciate every read, favorite, follow and review more than you could know. Please consider writing something about this one last time. I would love to know your thoughts - whether they be a favorite or least favorite moment, chapter or plot point. All feedback inspires and you all have truly inspired me. Regards, thelittlerat**


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